The Life of a Green Violin Person

Massive Quest of Self-Improvement

2011-06-12T06:02:00.000-07:00

I've finally decided to start up my blog again! The reason why I haven't been posting is because of my ridiculous time management skills (read: ridiculous). Hence, one of the reasons pushing for this quest of self-improvement.

As you all know (or not really) I have Asian parents. They are typically perfect people, and they give me the Family Lecture sometimes, not because I'm not perfect, but because I'm not efficient enough I think.

Yeah, comparing myself to a machine, I'm actually rather obsessed with the idea of efficiency. It feels so good when you get twice the work done in half the time. I feel like I should be in a science-fiction movie or something just for saying that.

Anyway. Back to ridiculous time management. Before this I was pushing all my lecture revision from uni to weekend. And god knows they pile the lectures on in university. So I don't actually have time to waste and do fun/stupid/random things on the weekends. Now I'm trying to work out a system where lectures are revised on weeknight and such. See, systems engineering :D

So I also aim to be a domestic goddess. I will learn how to wash clothes until they glitter like Edward Cullen. I will learn how to cook and bake fabulous fattening things. I will learn how to make people insanely jealous of my immaculate dwellings when they visit me. Because as of now, my skills in those departments are bacteria-sized.

So, um, cooking. Being Asian, I can make fried rice and stir-fried noodles. Probably with soya sauce as the seasoning.

This is my magical elixir.

I'm going to keep observing people cooking, and help more in the kitchen. I want to be able to go beyond using soya sauce. I want to cook stuff full of love and tastiness, the type of food that lives in your stomach and makes you feel great to be alive (with a working digestive system).

See, high Asian standards there XD

Also, I have found out that I have a semi-wandering mind. Goes everywhere, gets lost a bit, then stumbles back all beat up. No more, yessirree. I'm going to start doing stuff immediately. No thinking about other stuff. I go around everywhere with a rubberband on my wrist now so I that I snap it whenever I catch myself wandering. Crazy, but it works. The easiest way to stop procrastination is to actually realise you're wasting precious seconds of your 10000-day life, from my experience.

Also I read the 8-minute rule: most household chores eg taking out the garbage, storing leftovers etc takes only about 8 minutes. That's equivalent to sleeping in for 8 minutes, or standing around waiting for everyone to get ready, or a few TV commercials. I get lots of 8-minute gaps in my day, that's perfect for doing all the stuff I think I never really have time to do (get some domestic goddess house chores out of the way).

I am the boss of my own brain, bitch.

Anyway, I will probably post from time to time documenting my shenanigans. Here's a summary for those who were too lazy to read:

"Up my efficiency, and become good housewife material."

...Not that I plan to be a housewife in the future, but yeah, food skills ok?

I May Be On To Something Here

2011-03-08T04:25:00.000-08:00

I have realised that keeping a blog is a rather narcissistic little thing, where you just write mostly about your thoughts to the whole wide world, as if someone cares to read them. But you do it anyway, mainly because you know your blog will not reach that wide an audience, and it feels good to rant.

Or at least, that is my opinion.

But the point of this post is not narcissism, it is because I think I have finally figured out some part of what people call the "Law of Attraction". Even though I am a sciency-person who has been taught to accept, question and discover based on evidence, I am rather interested in how this works. The theory behind it is whatever you think will materialise somehow in your life. I say, the best evidence is personal experience, so give it a go and see if it works for you.

Tricky...very tricky. The Law isn't as simple as that. If I could have whatever I wanted I wouldn't have to study anymore right now. XD Therefore my explanation is this: Life's a bit of a bitch and wants you to put in effort for what you want.

Also, you cannot just keep on wishing and wishing desperately for what you want. Like when I was a kid I used to whinge a lot for what I wanted; did I get it? 95% of the time, I didn't get anything. Nada. So just like how people cannot stand you whinging, Life also can't stand you being desperate for something and will purposely not give you what you want because you just reek of self-pity. Like I said it's a bit of a bitch.

So the deal that works for me is: I can't be desperate. I should know what I want out of life (I mean, everybody has to have some sort of direction). Then, I have to make sure that I have an idea of what I have to do to achieve that, i.e. Know My Shit. I'm pretty sure it's everyone's experience that when you know your stuff and do it well, you're confident and won't spend time worrying about how you'll mess up later. Like if you're prepared for an interview, all you have to worry about is your luck in getting selected. If you're not prepared then there's really no point worrying about the luck. In short, just do what you have to do and don't worry about the probability of your thoughts or wishes materialising.

Well I did put this into practice as often as I could throughout the past 1-2 years of my life, and even though results aren't phenomenal, they're not too bad. Sometimes I was surprised that stuff I asked for came true, especially intangible things like opportunities to do something. And quite amazingly they usually came faster after I'd thought of them for a while, but decided not to sweat it and let things be natural.

I'm not sure by what mechanism this law works; it could be that it increases your confidence by forcing you to accept and confront worry, it could be that you have a sense of purpose and this makes you more alert to opportunities, but whatever it is, it works, and that's the best part, really.

Now have a go at it, whoever is reading this. If you have done so, you can post a comment below or into the cbox on the left to tell me of your experiences. If you have not and think that I am spouting nonsense, well, one try can't hurt you can it?

"Getting Used To It"

2010-12-21T22:23:00.000-08:00

Will today's post be preachy? Will it be funny? Will it be *le gasp* SERIOUS?

I don't know, but I like building suspense. XD

So anyway, today I went for driving class. Now the instructor was real interesting cos he was supposed to teach us all about the fan belt and engine and all that sort of stuff, but he didn't. Instead, he handed me the wheel and told me to drive. I was like "Oh my god I'm so nervous what if I crash this itty bitty car or ram into a post and totally bend it?! Wait the thought of me bending metal is actually cool. OMG OMG."

So it was a manual car which means clutch, brake and accelerator. I kept messing up the clutch, didn't know when to press it halfway or fully or how to step on the accelerator properly while on the clutch, and the instructor was ,"Up clutch! No not all the way! Not so down! Feel the pedal feel the pedal oh no you've released it all the way oh great now the engine has stopped start it again please."

And I kept turning the steering wheel too much, I blame those PS2 Underground racing games I used to play. I always twisted the car too much, but then at least I didn't have the prospect of death or injury to worry about. I mean the worst thing that could happen was that I would lose the race. @_@

All in all I went ten rounds around the track and it was loads better after that. I actually had fun! I kept imagining Spock driving though, I don't know why. And how he'd have that poker face of his on. I hope that expression didn't end up on my face, when I get nervous my facial muscles become stupid and freeze there.

Actually, I do think I looked somewhat like this, gah.

The instructor told me, "You see, don't be nervous, otherwise it's just giving yourself stupidity in advance befor you actually do anything. When people say things like that a little light bulb goes off in my brain and I have this moment of epiphany and confidence where I say "OH YES THAT MAKES LOGICAL SENSE."

So I thought about it, and yeah, many times we are scared of new things simply because we have had no prior exposure to it. It takes getting used to, and then we don't feel that it's scary anymore. If anything, it becomes routine, and we become better and better at it.

I think most technical skills are like that--you HAVE to repeat them to learn them well. I like doing things with my hands, so that involves driving and also drawing right now. Geesh, it takes me forever to realise this sort of epic truth to life. Had I known/realised this earlier, I wouldn't have sweated so much about my violin (which basically involves a lot of technical skill) and instead put more patience into repeating movements until I got it right. I didn't have so much patience though, so I actually griped a lot and nearly burnt the instrument on a few occassions.

"Son, I am disappoint." (which is what my dad would say if my family were Vulcans and if I was actually a guy.)

So anyway more thoughts on this drawing thing. If you also draw, do tell me, what gets you drawing? What makes you want to improve?

For me, it's this sort of thing where I usually measure myself against other people's standards (WHICH IS NOT A WISE THING TO DO SO DON'T DO IT) Unfortunately this results in me feeling that my art is "not good enough" so I usually don't draw much, which is counterproductive. =.=

But after a while I figured that measuring myself against other people usually ends up in me measuring against my previous standards because what this means is that I want to surpass my previous level of drawing. So in reality I am measuring against myself. And that is a better form of encouragement because it makes me do things like draw a human body everyday, with reference to muscles and figuring out where they go on skeletons and stuff.

I used to hate learning all the muscle systems and stuff, but now it makes more sense to me because I see how they give the human body its form. That small logical part of my brain appreciates it too. So basically I'm just repeating and repeating those forms everyday. It's a small step, but a step nonetheless. Like I said this is technical, so it has to be done many times. In other words, practice~

Enjoy your day. =)

Because I Needed to Talk to Someone and the Internet Was My Best Bet

2010-12-10T22:59:00.000-08:00

Hermitty life. I swear, I'm a bit of a hermit. Ever since my holidays started I've been spamming myself with drawing. I don't go out much, maybe except to swim and take photos of random caterpillars eating my father's plants. O_o

My art life has become rather active lately. =) I'm almost filling up my sketchbook which I started drawing in 2008, and I've finally discovered the powerful tool that is...

REFERENCE IMAGES.

I was rather stupid last time when I used to draw because I never used reference (I don't know why, was it some foolish pride?) so I hate all my drawings from that time, they look rather spsastic at times haha.

I'm sorry, this IS going to be a ramble about my relationship with art.

Then I realised there's no shame in using reference (heck, almost everyone uses it) and I became addicted to reference images. I visit http://www.gettyimages.com/ for most of them... Deviantart has some pretty nice ones too.

I also recently purchased a book on drawing anatomy. It's wonderfully detailed and includes all muscle groups and the drawings are oh-so-pretty. I'm not sure if I want to go that much into detail just yet, I just want to make figures look convincing, y'know? And I'm staying true to this rule:

"The human body is NOT made up of straight lines!" (This is one rule I have broken quite a lot of times)

This guy breaks this rule all the time.

This is excruciating detail.

The guy writing the anatomy book, Peter M. Simpson, said that it's way better to draw figures from a skeleton than to use blocks and cylinders. That's cos with a skeleton you know where the muslces are attached to and so you can add appropriate bulk to your figures. It's not the same with cylinders because like I mentioned, the human body isn't made up of straight lines.

After I read that I thought, "Well there goes 5 years of drawing technique out the window." So basically I'm trying to make the transition to skeletons now, it's actually quite helpful though I can't for the life of me figure out where muscles go.

As I spend more time with my pencil and paper I realise that there is a lot about art which I can't do yet (Pretty backgrounds, foreshortening, beautiful colouring) and wow, it's overwhelming. I don't think I'll get that serious about art, but anyway I'll probably do it one step at a time. Well with the very small steps I'm taking I'll probably become decent in maybe in 15-20 years' time. XD

I've also met two entities which are the bane of my existence: hands, and couple sketches. Can't draw them to save my life. I end up laughing at myself. You know how Nelson laughs at Bart in the Simpsons? Yeah. I'm Nelson, then I'm Bart. : D

And drawings of couples? Immensely awkward for me to attempt. I end up giving them ridiculous expressions that look more comical than anything else. Just can't take them seriously. But since the best way to overcome your fears is to face them head-on, I'm spamming my sketchbook with a lot of hand dawings and the occasional couple bit (I still can't draw too many without laughing).

And the reason for wanting to draw couples? It's cos I'm a girl and I see stuff through a special mushy lens sometimes and cannot resist making cute little sketches of people being happy together in their own little world DAMNIT.

All in all, art is slowly becoming a more central part of my life, and I appreciate that very much. I don't know how far I want to go in terms of technical skill (like a professional illustrator, that's pretty far), but hopefully much further than now. Definitely

Father-Daughter Bonding, Star Trek Style!

2010-11-13T08:25:00.000-08:00

My father is quite an...odd man. Oh, I mean odd in a good way, the interesting kind of odd.

Today he realised that I had two science experiment planning papers to go next week, so he asked me and my sister in the car, "How would you get rid of birds in an area so that they won't poop on the cars parked under the trees? And don't kill them."

Well it was after dinner and my brain wasn't functioning, so I was practically just going "Uhmmmm..."

And this, my friends, is the problem.

Then my dad went into this impassioned speech about how this was just like an experiment.

"Point 1, you observe. When do the birds come? Do they nest? What do they do? What is the volume of excreta they pump out? What effect does this have on the urban people?"

"Point 2, you analyse. Look up some literature. Do the birds like only one type of tree? What do they eat? What drives them away?"

"Point 3, you do what you have to do. See, crows don't like ultrasonic sounds, so just build an ultrasonic device and play it during the evenings when they come. Easy, dude, easy."

I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded enthusiastically and said, "Yeah!" My dad picked a very strange point to illustrate a concept...

Then after that he went into another speech of why science is so important, and how it's based on Logic! and how Logic! underpins the mechanics of science and how you must always think Logically!

"Science is the mecahnics of this world, and art is its colour!" Ah, he was really on a roll now.

Well since he was in full Logic! mode I couldn't resist saying, "Quite Vulcan of you, eh, dad."

And he said, "Yes! I'm going all Mr. Spock on you now. You see, why did they put a Vulcan on the Enterprise? Human beings have all the science and technology and yet there are still problems. The Vulcan on the ship was laughing at them, damnit."

I remembered Spock and Bones used to insult each other all the time and I was like "OMG YES."

"And who created the Vulcan?"

"The producer of the show, Gene Rodenderry?"

"Yes, that's why Star Trek's interesting! It's like a human looking at human behaviour from a different perspective."

In my mind I was going, "OMG DAD I KNEW THAT YOU WERE A CLOSET TREKKIE YOU JUST DIDN'T WANT TO ADMIT IT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT PPL THINKING YOU WERE A GEEK."

And because I was pretty much hyped from then on, I mentioned casually, "Oh, and doesn't Bones hate the transporter?"

"Yeah, he doesn't want to disintegrate and then reintegrate into something else."

That really brought out the geek/nerd in me. I remembered reading something about teleporting stuff. You had to take the properties of all the atoms, and then transfer it to an intermediate series of particles before transferring it to atoms at your desired location again. Something like that. Apparently scientists at Vienna have successfully transferred photons in this way under a river from one side to the other, pretty cool stuff.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/3576594.stm <<--Here's the link to the Vienna article.

So the only thing I could do was think, "OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DISCUSSING STAR TREK PHYSICS WITH DAD."

And then my dad recommended this horror sci-fi movie called "The Fly" about a guy who tries to teleport himself this way, but a fly got into the machine and their DNA mixed so the guy became a fly-mutant thing. I'm going to watch it, just for the sake of old sci-fi.

My father concluded with this sentence, "And that's why you should always remember Mr. Spock. It's Logic! It helps you get by." I swear my dad is a secret Spock fan, he just makes it look like I'm the only one in the family who likes that pointy-eared hobgoblin.

...But now that's not a secret any more. O_o

I think if my dad and I were in Star Trek he'd be some wiseass Romulan (they're like Vulcans, but only more emotional) and I'd be some weird little Vulcan kid who tags along and asks him stuff all the time.

Tonight was a major geeky-nerdy moment. Seriously. So to balance things out, I'm going to say "Grey's Anatomy was good! Aww Christina and Owen got married!"

You see, I'm making a reference to a popular TV show here, so I am maintaining what little street cred I have. =D

Have a pleasant journey in your part of the space-time continuum! (aka, your Life.)

Old People.

2010-11-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

Today's post is going to be a little...sentimental? Yes, perhaps that's the word. well, my dad invited some of his friends and a real special guest over to our house for dinner today. That guest was his ex-headmaster, when he was at primary school. So yeah, he's quite old now, in his 80's.

He's a Christian brother so we call him Brother Harold. He's Australian but doesn't reside there. He came to Malaysia to meet up with his students, and so...that's how he wound up at our house.

For an old dude, he's sure cheery. I had this snippet of a conversation with him:

Me: Well, at least Australia isn't as cold as the UK.
Brother H: Ohh, but English people are nice. Walk into a shop and they say, "Hi, how may I help you, love?" Well, no one calls me 'love' in Australia!

He's very alert. Apparently he still insists on planting his own vegetables for consumption. And when he got a bit breathless, he asked my dad "Why is this happening to me? It's never happened before."

My dad said the polite equivalent of "Dude, you're 80-something..." and the Brother just laughed. I had a chance to talk to him and I found myself laughing so much because he kept cracking little jokes. At first I was apprehensive because I don't really have elderly people as friends (well it was more because I'm just nervous making conversation with unknown people) but it was real nice talking to him.

You could tell that he had led one of those full, satisfying lives, because he was so genial overall, and also because practically all his ex-students asked him over for dinner as well. =)

*Sigh* I don't know, I think old people are quite interesting, mainly because they have so much life experience. Perhaps it's because they know that they are nearing the end of life, but they seem to live more in the present instead of worrying about the past or future. They're generally more relaxed and have a better senese of humour I think. Brother Harold is just the kind of old person I want to be when I'm old. =P

Ohh a Famous Old Person I want to meet is

Leonard Nimoy! The original Mr. Spock.

I'm not really sure of his personality and stuff, but from the snippets of actual things he's said and what he's said in interviews, I think that conversation with him would be really interesting. Fascinating, as Spock would put it.

Oh, he's had stomach surgery recently! And this is what he had to say:

I'm telling you, old people have a sense of humour.

And in case you don't know what LLAP is, it's "Live Long And Prosper". Lol it sounds kinda like what Chinese grandparents would say. Longevity and wealth...two things essential to Chinese well-wishing.

So go out and appreciate an old person today!

Lucky Shirt? Lucky Shirt.

2010-10-27T02:59:00.000-07:00

So today I had my Bio and Maths paper 3 exams. Double whammy, dudes. However, I came psychologically prepared because I had my lucky shirt on. *Ahem* here it is!

Heh. I know. Look it's cartoon Spock! Just the kind of shirt I'd consider lucky. Well, it is lucky, because I thought I'd never be able to find a Star Trek T-shirt in Malaysia. (There is a depressing lack of Trekkies here...)

But believe it or not, while my sister was stalking fashion trends on the Internet, she actually found some Malaysian girl wearing this shirt. Turns out Pull and Bear was selling them, so I hopped over to get one. Literally. I think I was skipping down the mall after I'd bought it.

Anyway, about being psychologically prepared. I think I've been pretty much eating and drinking my Bio and Maths papers for the past one week's preparation, and I was still nervous. But wearing this shirt just made me feel so...secure. Like I could take on anything. I don't know, maybe it's just because Star Trek works as anti-depressants for me or something.

And I suppose when you have a serious-looking Spock plastered over your front in a quiet exam hall, you kind of concentrate and try to be logical as well. So I think I did alright, concentrating and answering all the questions. I felt...peaceful? Yeah, quite serene actually. (Was I meditating?!!)

My football-crazy friend came in a Manchester United jersey, and my eco-friendly friend came in a green shirt. So I guess a lucky shirt isn't lucky because it has magical powers, it's lucky because you like it and it calms you down. It kind of reassures you that you can even answer weird questions if you just tweak your brain to think sensibly.

Hmm I think this luckiness doesn't just apply to clothing, it applies to anything that lands you in a relaxed and peaceful state of mind. I'd been drawing when I took study breaks, and that really helped because I happen to like doing it. It's good to have a hobby, mmhmm.

For today, I'd suggest to readers to really find out what totally relaxes you and puts you in that meditating sort of mind. It should be something that you can keep coming back to, and something that you really enjoy doing. Perhaps it's these little things that keep human beings sane.

Farewell, internet! Gonna draw something fluffy now.

And Life Continues on the Earth's Axis.

2010-10-20T05:07:00.000-07:00

Huh. This is an update on my personal life. I know, *so* exciting, right.

Besides the fact that I have exams (which I must be on my toes for), I have recently found drawing to be very therapeutic. Especially since I've been figuring out how to draw poses and stuff like that. Pretty frustrating though, I always feel I can never draw as well as I want to. But oddly, after staring at the picture I've finally done, there's a sense that it's somewhat complete. It's weird. Really. I never know whether to be pissed or happy with my art.

Anyways, here's some gay Spock/Kirk funny-ass comics for your viewing pleasure: They made me laugh like a hyena on drugs or something. Oh, and there's some Spock/Uhura too. I hope to do funny-ass art like that someday. =D

NOTE: I DIDN'T DRAW THESE COMICS. NatNatTOS did. BUT I WISH I DID. ^_^

http://natnattos.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d30wyho
http://natnattos.deviantart.com/art/Mind-Tricks-179996737?q=gallery%3ANatnatTOS%2F26601679&qo=12
http://natnattos.deviantart.com/art/Prompt-Vulcan-Orgasm-Pinch-182572201?q=gallery%3ANatnatTOS%2F26601679&qo=5
http://natnattos.deviantart.com/art/Amok-Time-182400838?q=gallery%3ANatnatTOS%2F26601679&qo=6
http://natnattos.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d30rl6j

Anyhoo, I have some papers to practice on and some hair to colour. Toodles!

Review: South of the Border, West of the Sun

2010-10-06T01:51:00.000-07:00

Today's blog post will be a book review by a Japanese author, Haruki Murakami. (I haven't finished Catcher in the Rye yet.) I was first introduced to this author by my friend Amanda, (click for her blog) when I was a wee lassie in Year 9. (Ok, maybe not that wee lassie.)

I started off with Kafka on the Shore and even now I do not fully understand it. Mr. Murakami is well known for his use of surrealism that ties in with his themes of human life, emotions and the philosophy of existence.

My friend lent me this shorter novel of his (it's only 200 pages) so I finished it in a few days. I have read some other Murakami novels since Kafka, and this would be the latest.

It chronicles the life of Hajime, a child born in 1951. Being an only child, he had only one friend, Shimamoto, a girl. But they lost touch when he moved away. Growing up into his teens and then his twenties, we see Hajime gain a better grasp of how his life is progressing, but yet we see his selfish side, in a few chapters where he wounds his high school girlfriend emotionally.

Upon graduation he gets stuck in a dead-end job, aimless and directionless in his life for 8 years, until he meets Yukiko and marries her, settling into family life with two daughters, running a jazz bar.

Then one day, Shimamoto comes back. The book explores his feelings and his inability to forget his first love. All this paves the way to infidelity, and at the same time, some self-discovery. I have noticed that most of the Murakami novels I've read deal with self-discovery, and how you don't really know yourself until you learn from experience.

Also, most of the protagonists in his books are average, decent males who are searching for something, some inner fulfillment. This somewhat fits Hajime here. As a female teenage reader, I can't really relate to Hajime's mid-life crisis, but I do suppose it is an artistic expression of what goes through men's minds at this point. These days divorces are so common and to me, having an artistic impression of infidelity somehow makes the irrationality of human emotional motivation easier to tolerate.

Hajime's selfishness is highlighted well, and is clearly seen in a short conversation with his wife, where she points out that he assumes he knows what she is thinking and that he has never really asked her a question about anything. You'd think that she would be outraged, but instead, she just takes the blow, quietly stating to him that she feels the pain but nothing else.

I think that deep down, Hajime is afraid of being alone, maybe alone with no one but himself for company. He describes a "force" within him that he cannot overcome. The force of a selfish desire for his first love, perhaps? Someone he may never have. Here I think again of Buddha's words, "Desire is suffering."

While this book does not have much of that ethereal glow that I savour while reading other Murakami works, (I have read about a Sheepman, and fish raining from the sky) I found it enjoyable, because you could see the feelings point-blank. Sometimes the misty metaphors that he uses in other books take a while to adjust to an interpret. It seems like a straightforward story, but because of the way in which Hajime's feelings are described, like something blurred, something which lurks incessantly, it isn't that simple.

In conclusion, I was able to feel Hajime's desperation, and was relieved that he found some closure at the end of the book. Murakami's language is simple--even in Japanese (I read the English translation), but the things he conveys are not. South of the Border reads a bit like a dream, yet at all times you are made aware of reality lurking behind it. Then Murakami asks you: what is reality?

Wow, I've been rambling on. I can't stop soon enough when I talk about books. This isn't a serious review, though, I just want to expound on my thoughts on the book. Try a Murakami sometime. You may be surprised, or you may be disgusted, or you may love it, but I think it would be a unique experience.

Time Keeps On Slipping

2010-09-28T02:45:00.000-07:00

Alright, alright, I've ripped the title from a Futurama episode. If you do not know the awesomeness that is Futurama, I suggest you go Google it. Right. Now. And watch a couple of episodes too.

Anyway, time does keep on slipping because there are a few weeks left to the A2 exams right now. I am prepared, but things seem to escape my mind nowadays, squirming a bit to get out? OMG stay in stay in information.

And this is not a good time, but my right hand itches to draw. So. So. Badly. To somewhat escape my boredom I have taken to drawing little Star Trek cartoons in the edges of my past-year papers. I was so bored I tried doing a Kirk/Spock moment. Yes. ST slash. If you want to see my doodles, cbox me and I'll move it here for fun and laughter. Well more likely laughter, my own drawings are so bad sometimes they make me laugh.

Anyways, I'm really thankful I can doodle at least. It's fun! I used to be really suckass at drawing, and I'm not so hot myself even now, but I never thought I'd be able to draw. I think art saves my sanity sometimes. Granted, I'm not as talented as some brilliant! artists out there, but yeah, drawing is just for fun. After all, Matt Groening (creator of Futurama and the Simpsons) said he couldn't draw his own characters very well, and look where he is. =D

Sometimes I wonder what my life would've been like if I'd been an art student. Like, really artsy-fartsy, dissecting literature and quoting Lord Byron and studying art history. Probably I would have more time for drawing, and maybe I would have more time to practice too! I suppose I do enjoy expressing myself, but for some reason I've always preferred the sciences. (Maybe because it appeals to that small logical part of my brain, lol.) Art subjects...are too subjective! Nothing is right or wrong...but then I suppose 99% of life is like that!

Anyways, this is my brain right now. Pretty much self-explanatory. =D You guys should try a brain portrait sometime; it's really fun!

Brave New World: A Dystopia of Pleasure?

2010-09-14T23:15:00.000-07:00

Today's post will be a book review about the novel "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley. It's a pretty iconic book, and if you haven't read it yet, please give it a shot. I'm just going to post my thoughts about it, and its underlying message.

I have never liked literature because of the way I was taught it (memorise, memorise, memorise) but maybe that will change as I'm slowly returning to my habit of reading.

To give an intro, Brave New World is set in the 2500s, where everyone lives under a "World State" and is perpetually happy. Humans are divided into five classes: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta and Epsilon. Gamma to Epsilon classes perform more menial work, and Alpha and Beta are more upper-caste.

No one is born the normal way; everyone is "manufactured" via IVF through sperm and eggs. Sometimes eggs are "Bokanovskified" so that they produce batches 96 identical individuals(for Gammas to Epsilons). Promiscuity is promoted and everyone is encouraged to "have one another". No one ages. At sixty you still look young. The word "mother"is a swear word, and "father" is a joke. The idea of marriage, family, and passionate relationships are over.

Kids are conditioned by having subliminal messages pumped into their ears during sleep. The first part of the story deals with life in this society. We are introduced to Bernard Marx (who somewhat questions the civilisation) and Lenina Crowne (who is a typical female).

The second part deals with Bernard and Lenina going to a Savage reservation in Mexico (where people still live lives much like the native American Indians in my opinion). They find a white man who was born there; he is John, known as "Mr. Savage" when he returns to London with Bernard, along with his mother, Linda, who has actually aged without the chemicals to keep her young.

The third part of the book deals with the Savage living in London and the struggles he faces with this "Brave New World". I won't say more here, except that in order to truly appreciate the many layers of this world you have to read the book yourself.

My opinions on this dystopian world:
--It has some elements of early 20th century advancement, such as mass production, being written in 1932. Perhaps the most eerie one is the "baby in the bottle" way of manufacturing people and then putting them on an assembly line, where they have alcohol put into their bottles to dumb them down and exposed to heat or cold so that they can be adapted to future job conditions.

--Consumption and capitalism seem to play an important part. Deltas are conditioned to like certain things so that they would spend more on them, supporting the economy. Not very unlike our current world, where we have to "keep up with trends" and new products are always grazing the surface of the market.

--People are brainwashed since young to like their place in the Alpha-Epsilon caste, and there is always a "soma" drug to keep you happy should you ever feel unpleasant emotions. Everyone is happy. This is something the Savage questions. Given my never-ending quest to truly understand and live with human emotions, I couldn't help but be interested in this part. A world where everyone is happy?

It is ideal, but then we would lose some semblance of humanity. For what is there to work for, if everything you want is given to you? If happiness is something shaken out of a pill-box?

There is a part when the Controller reads a paper by Bernard describing a suspicion that the ultimate goal is not a stable Society, but perhaps some expansion of human intelligence and consciousness.

But then, he shakes his head and says "This cannot be published."

After reading the notes at the back of the book, I found out that Aldous Huxley was actually quite interested in this human intelligence and consciousness expansion. I am, too, after reading about "Boltzmann brains." These are supposedly random events where a conscious entity supposedly "pops up" in the Universe. But I digress. Wikipedia it if you want, it's something abstract that you can wrap your mind around.

All in all, I enjoyed the book, and am impressed at the scope of Mr. Huxley's imagination. It leaves me a little shaky because it reminds me of human beings' propensity for evil, and that some small parts of the book may already be showing up in our society, like consumerism. Maybe that's why I like sci-fi--it's full of "what ifs" and predictions of the future of humankind. Good as food for thought.

I know this is a long post, so thanks for putting up with it. I have a huge stack of other sci-fi and general fiction that I'm trying to finish. The next book review I think will be about "Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger. I'm looking forward to it.

At the risk of sounding like I'm spreading educational propaganda for young kids, Reading is Fun!

Utterly Perplexing Emotions and Star Trek Fluff.

2010-09-10T10:04:00.000-07:00

Hello world! Today I will rant about my emotions. No, it's not about some boy. No, it's not about schoolwork. It's basically about...well, me. (Oh lordies another narcissistic post.)

I don't know. I do think emotions are the queerest little things that reside in your body and pop up suddenly. They interfere with everything you are supposed to do. They throw you off whack, and they're so incredibly distracting. You know, like "I don't feel like being hardworking and studying for my exams today."

And "I wanna eat so much and get fat even though I know I shouldn't." This one, friend, is LUST. FOOD LUST.

Ah I could just gobble you up so bad ya sexy thing. This pic is courtesy of http://www.foodwhore.tumblr.com/

And then, there's the Inferiority Complex. Oh mothership, I hate the Inferiority Complex. You think you're pretty damn good at something and then you find someone who does it a kajillion times better then you. Then you start wondering what sort of cosmic force would want to bring so much misery to you by rubbing your pathetic failure in your face.

You can tell I've had a lot of experience with Mr. Inferiority Complex.

Well, ever since I became a Trekkie I've looked to Spock for an answer. (Yes this is how bad my fandom is. So sue me.)Well you know I took a leaf out of his book and tried to not give in to these pesky emotions too much. Because emotions are what make us human, neh?

So I'd feel bad for a bit. Then I'd let the feeling sink in. Then I'd close my eyes and just let the feeling pass. Y'know, don't fight the feeling. Let it be.

Surprisingly, the feeling went. There was some sort of funny calm left behind, like when you stir your bathwater and it makes little ripples.

For the sake of irrelevance I shall put a pic of an adorable little kid sitting in bathwater. Heh!

So for a while the technique worked. Everytime I felt like an angsty teenager I'd let the feeling pass and return to my little bathwater calm place.

Then I started doing that for EVERY feeling. Even the happy ones. So I would be all "Yay!" and then suddenly all calm and introspective. I was kinda killing the happy feeling there. So, not the perfect thing to do.

I don't know. I seem to bounce back very fast from extreme feelings of anger/frustration/sadness/happiness. It's mostly good, but sometimes not so good.

So finally I've decided to just keep being curious about these emotions of mine. You know, treat it like a game, or an experiment. Because they're actually pretty interesting if you observe them after a while. Sometimes you laugh at yourself for even feeling that way. Sometimes you think you're an absolute idiot. But whatever it is, treating yourself like a lab rat actually does help you to see things clearer.

And I do like my little bathwater technique. I just have to make sure that when I'm really happy, my face will stay like that little baby's in the picture.

Oh yes, and that Star Trek Fluff in the title? I've actually done a little fluffy couple picture in the ST universe, and the bigger version is here. I know, I don't draw fluffy couple pictures. Or use Photoshop. But there's a first time for everything.

If you have deviantart and want to give me constructive criticism, please do so. If not, and you want Mr. Inferiority Complex to visit me, you can post a snide comment in the cBox on the left. Or a nice one. Or you could leave a message about bathwater.

Ta-ta for now, faithful cyberspace. XD

How To Swear Without Swearing.

2010-08-30T21:01:00.000-07:00

Are you prone to large amounts of swearing and want to swear a little more creatively?

Do you have a no-swearing bet that you have to fulfil but still want to swear anyway?

If so, then this article is for you! Today I will discuss ways to swear so that people don't realise that you're swearing.

Disclaimer: Author is not responsible for any insanity/social repulsion due to this article. Use tips at own risk.

1. Swear in another language. No, not Swahili. Or any other human language for that matter.

Instead, why not opt for an alien language? Taking a leaf from Star Trek's Klingons, a famous Klingon insult is: "Your mother has a smooth forehead!"

Why not put it in Klingon: Hab SoSlI' Quch!

WARNING: Do not use this on Trekkies, apparently it is bad enough to start a war. The last thing you need is a fan jabbing you in the eyes with his pointy ears.

Now you know why smooth foreheads are so insulting.

And if service is slow at restaurants, or if the darn salesgirl cannot get you shoes in size 37 1/4, you can say this: Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam. (Today is a good day to die.)

Ah, and not to forget Vulcans! However they are a more...civilised race and I can't find many authentic language insults. However, I did find many intelligent Vulcan ways of putting standard English insults! These were taken from this forum.

English: Die in hell. (Dunno if this is accurate.)
Vulcan: Decease in a highly exothermic environment.

English: I fart in your general direction.
Vulcan: I release flatulence at the likely coordinates of your position.

Why don't you dudes figure these ones out:
1) You seem to be an entity that is entirely composed of the posterior opening of the alimentary canal.
2)I wouldn't mate with you if you were the last sentient in the galaxy and I was deep into the most powerful Pon Farr ever experienced.

Don't know what Pon Farr is? Click here!

Live long and prosper, you mother*censored*. I swear this was the message in the movie.

2. Make up your own swear words.

Think about it, if you do make up your own swear words no one will understand them except you, and you get the satisfaction of swearing too!

My sister calls me a Mohibi sometimes. Now it's supposed to be an awful insult from her, but every time I hear Mohibi, you know what I think of?

A Mohibi= Mohawk wearing baby. You can't get mad at someone who compares you to such an adorable thing.

So try it out. Call your annoying little sibling a Mohibi. Your dog. Your cat. Your gerbil/hamster/pet snake.

Because secretly, we regret the fact that our mothers never made us into cute Mohibis when we were young.

Kid, be proud of your hair.

3. Just swear without words.

Ah we have the Italians to thank for this one. Very eloquent. Express your anger using a simple shaking of your hands, and various twirling motions! Image below from http://www.wonkette.com/

Make sure you swipe you hand from under you chin appropriately. Otherwise it'll look like you're trying to tickle yourself to make yourself laugh. Which can look pretty desperate and give others the impression that there is no laughter in your life. Hmm...there IS laughter in your life, right? *raises eyebrows*

Ahh, who doesn't know this gesture?

All in all, maybe sometimes swearing is too much trouble.

And now I will leave you in peace. Have a nice day!

Buddha Says.

2010-08-19T03:31:00.000-07:00

I have not been the most religious person in my life. My visits to various Buddhist temples mostly involve some Chinese New Year prayers. I don't read the sutras everyday. I don't really go vegetarian.

But one thing Buddha says is VERY true. Its "Desiring is suffering."

But I mean, isn't it human nature to desire? We want to be so much better than we are now, to move forwards, to evolve and such. Then I realised it probably meant personal desire, materialistic desire.

Like how we want new cars, clothes, items, gadgets. I think so. I have seen so many fashion blogs and wishlists--sometimes I wonder what is the drive behind people that causes them to shop and buy and consume and use all these garments, all these accessories.

It's good to look presentable, but why do we keep chasing these fashions? Since they probably repeat every decade or so.

I've faced cases where I wanted things really badly. It was 'suffering', you could say. You want it so badly that you find yourself sucked into a vortex and you cannot come out because your oxygen tank is at the very bottom of that vortex.

For me, the things I have wanted are quite intangible. For example, more friends. Having grown up a painfully shy kid, I suddenly wanted to mingle more for fear of missing out. I guess I musnt've been terribly good at it, because sometimes I make friends whom I cannot keep. I'm not horribly close to people from my primary and secondary schools, though sometimes I wish I had been. It's difficult for me to maintain friendships by calling people if I don't see them every day.

Probably explains why my Facebook wall is so randomised. The people I know are random and all over the place. Friends come, and go.

Also, having grown up with a pathological fear of the opposite sex, there was probably a point when I would have traded my left kidney just for some male attention.

Heck, my left kidney and a slice of my liver. Perhaps I was 'suffering' whenever I'd see a dude with a chick and they were all so happy and la-la-land and all. It was a bit of a 'wallflower' moment, a bit of a 'why not ME???' moment.

I think, screw it. We only want the things that people have. We want the attention that someone else is getting, and we know it. I listened to Buddha. I tried to stop wanting stuff and just let my personality develop.

And at the end of 16 years or so, you have this semi-sarcastic, random, sci-fi crazy chick who is writing internet poop. You know what, I kind of like her. I suppose if you cannot like yourself you can't really expect other people to want to befriend you. And maybe once you feel at peace with yourself then other people won't see your insecurity. Ergo, much easier to talk to others.

When I stopped wanting I felt a bit better. And strangely, now I do somewhat have what I want. Buddha, you are one cool dude.

Pardon this somewhat narcissistic post. I like writing things out. At least I hope that this internet poop will benefit/entertain/make you laugh with pity in some way.

Some Things I Learnt After Talking To People.

2010-08-03T07:32:00.000-07:00

OMG, like hi, readerrsssss!

Pardon the beginning. I believe we should keep things interesting. So. Helllooo!

Anyways when I was young I hardly talked to people. Wasn't the most sociable Asian bugger you'd meet. Heck, not the most sociable bugger you'd meet.

But that's changed now. I'm still not wildly and fanatically popular, but people actually smile at me now when I walk down corridors. And we know each other's names. =D

But anyways, here are some valuable things I learnt in Social Skills 101, that apply to anyone in any conversation.

1. If the bugger is not interested in what you are saying, SHUSH.

I learnt this the hard way. You know, me being a sci-fi chick and all, I try to talk about rockets, space guns, Star Wars, robots, pointy-eared men aboard huge ass spaceships, more robots, things like that.

But if the girl/guy you are talking to is really not interested, don't continue talking. Even though it gets you hyped up. Even though you feel that you are gonna burst into a nice bout of verbal diarrhoea.

Because people don't like verbal diarrhoea.

The only thing people hate more than verbal diarrhoea is actual diarrhoea.

So bowels aside, if the bugger doesn't give a hoot about robots, he/she isn't going to be hooty about it no matter how hard you try. If you still keep on trying, here is how the convo would be like:

Youlin: Hey, I thought that movie was pretty spiffy. You know, guy stuck on moon, with only a computer for company, going crazy...

Sister: OMG, I like so totally dig that new Maria Sharapova perfume! It's like bathing in her sweat!

Youlin: The poor astronaut though, he couldn't contact his family, and he was just a tool of the corporation...

Sister: And you know what? It's only RM 158! Imagine spritzing on some Sharapova sweat everyday! Mmm. Fresh fresh fresh!

Youlin: Mmm yes. I hear her perfume has fruity citrus zest too. So anyways, what do you think of Star Wars?

Sister: OMG I love Maria Sharapova's fruity sweat/perfume! Star whatta? Oh Stars! Like Maria Sharapova! She's MY star.

At this point Youlin's verbal diarrhoea is probably being replaced by actual diarrhoea.

BTW, visit my sister's blog here: http://www.compulsivelychanel.tumblr.com/

Maria Sharapova, sometimes I hate you. And yes, I've purposely put a photo with cleavage so that more male visitors will come to my blog. Shameless, I know.

2) Perverted jokes are a good gauge of who you would hang out with for a long time.

When you were young and still unexposed, you may have been like me when you heard a perverted joke:

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! Get it away! Go away! How could you even think of that?"

As I got older, I found them to be funny.

Then, quite funny. Wasn't too long before I started cracking a few of my own too. Usually involving space and double meanings of words. I'll leave you to figure that out.

I needed some victims to listen to my jokes, so I tried them out on my friends. Now here's the interesting part:

The ones who don't cringe at your terrible jokes are the people who can actually tolerate you. Who can stand you. Who will stick to you like two-month old porridge sticks to your digestive system. Because they let you be you.

I have a friend who actually sang about a "place in France, where the naked ladies dance". Loud. In public. You know what, I'm still here. Still listening to it.

Now France may seem a little more interesting to you.

3) The phrase "He/She's So Hot/Smexy/Cute" is really useful.

No, dear readers, this ain't about flirting. This is about the magic phrase that can spark friendships, forge them out of seemingly nothing. Next time you see an attractive male/female passing by/on screen, don't squeal to yourself.

Squeal to other people instead. Preferably like this:

You've got to get so close, they can smell what you had for breakfast.

Chances are, some people will be disgusted by what you had for breakfast or who you're actually finding hot. (I have yet to find someone in real life who appreciates eybrows like I do, even though people generally like what I have for breakfast.)

But never mind that. If you happen to attract the attention of someone who agrees with you, than ki-yippee-ya-hoo, you could probably end up talking/squealing the whole day. The phrase "Matt Bomer's hot." has reinforced a few friendships for me. Not only that, Matt Bomer can lead to talking about Kryptonite and the latest laptops in the market as well as a very sorry comedy film. Oh yes, Mr. Bomer is a good lead.

Not to mention you could make a crack about "Boner" as well. Refer to point 2!

P.S. I am sorry Mr. Bomer.

You don't know who Matt Bomer is? Google! And then come back and squeal with me online, via the cBox on the left.

And one last thing:

ZACHARYQUINTOEYEBROWSPAM.

Squeal with me if you agree!

Because Space Fashion Isn't Really That Far.

2010-07-21T03:51:00.000-07:00

Hola mamacitas! And also those who aren't mamacitas.

Today's post will be an attempt by me to blog about fashion! For years, this subjct has bemused me, and even now, it mocks me. Because hell hath no fury like my mother when she sees me wearing plain clothes.

Not to mention the amount of designer brand-mentioning I hear these days forcing me to actually google some brands to find out what they have to offer.

Sometimes I find that the clothes shown on the runway aren't actually wearable in real life though. Unless you're Lady GaGa or something. That woman has earned my respect for trotting about in those porcelain shoes of hers.

My expereinces with porcelain always result in it breaking.

So anyway, those shoes were from Alexander Mcqueen. Have found more of his quirky shoes online:

These aren't called 'crabhammers' for nothing.

This is so shiny it could rival the sheen of any spaceship.

So anyways, I've always felt that way-out designs are quite similar to some of the old sci-fi clothes. You know, the hopelessly unfashionable ones. But modern fashion has made those sometimes very garish designs much better. Of course, we also discovered CGI and tight velour for sci-fi heroes and heroines. Let's see:

Tell me that marble-like texture of her skin and shellacked hair doesn't look out-of-this-world. Not only that but that shimmery fabric and mini-cut is reminescent of the 60s, where sci-fi was creatively explored.

"Lost in Space", a 1960s TV show. Just look at the shine. The SHINE!

Another fashion item is the high-shouldered jacket. I have enormous respect for people who can pull it off. I mean, I'd laugh at myself if I wore one. I'd be going "OMG like pointy shoulders lol!"

Pointy shoulders never looked better on anyone.

Well, this is Zapp Brannigan from Futurama, a sci-fi cartoon series from the creator of The Simpsons. Note: not shoulder pads, but shoulder hoops. Hoopla!

I am also aware of his abnormally short whatever-he-is-wearing, but I don't have an explanation for it yet.

Here is Miss Jupiter with her orange storm. And pretty funkeh shoulderblades--erm--shoulderpads.

Some of the wierdest, most minimalistic designs (note minimalistic meaning minimal cloth) come from the movie "The Fifth Element" with Bruce Willis and Milla Jovovich:

I wasn't kidding about minimal was I?

This guy from the movie is like a futuristic LaFayette(from True Blood) who sings and has really poofy hair. Yay!

To wrap it up I've found some pretty awesome sci-fi (koff it's just Star Trek) art which matches with fashion too:

No, I didn't draw it (though I wish I could!) It's by Annie Wu. Her website is HERE. Click! You'll like it.

She's made LadyKirk and LadySpock look really (for lack of a better word) hot. This picture makes my inner girliness surface just for a while. I mean, I find myself saying, those are pretty snazzy boots on LadySpock. Mmhmm LadyKirk's eyeliner looks good too.

Ye, LadySpock looks like cyber Morticia Addams. A very fashionable one at that. And LadyKirk's rocking that pixie cut.

Retro Spock and Uhura! Coolnessess. Look there's still that shine in Uhura's outfit, and Spock with grizzly facial hair! MmmMmm.Very hippie, in my opinion. Hey, but who's complaining? Oh yeah Uhura looks like Shingai Shoniwa from the Noisettes. Poofiness lol.

Artist is HERE. Clickety click again.

So looks like these days you can be a geek for pretty much anything. You could be a science fiction geek, or a fashion geek, but maybe it's the best when you find out you can be a little bit of both.

Channel your inner geekiness people. Let it all hang out.

I Have Found My Girly Thang.

2010-07-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

Obviously Taylor Lautner's found his girly thangs.

Lord and Buddha and whatever other deity knows that I'm not the most fashionable kid on the block. Heck, I'm not even the most fashionable organism within a one-metre radius. When I was a kid, my grandma locked up all of my 'good clothes'.

Which basically was 95% of all my clothes. So I had to rotate the remaining 5% like no tomorrow. Traumatic. Especially when I had to wear a green shirt with red pants (Asian Santa's Elf much?)

When I acheived garment liberation at the age of 12 (I finally wrestled the key from her), I was happy. I pulled on whatever I wanted to wear everyday.

But recently, some FFFs have been talking to me.

Fashionable Females in the Family.

Like my mother. While driving me to the college, she was talking to me and then she suddenly noticed my very plain head.

"Youlin, why did you not use those absolutely cute hairclips I bought for you?"

Dude, I forgot. I actually forgot.

Oh well. Here I am, a kid who strives to do well in school and respect the Parents at the same time. And I don't complain when they ask me to do stuff. The only thing I'm doing wrong is forgetting to wear some absolutely cute hairclips.

"Tsk tsk Youlin. Disappointing. What is the point of me buying them for you?"

Sometimes words fail me. Even though I do like those hairclips. But woman, they're just hairclips.

So anyway lately I had to do a quick rescue operation to save my femininity. Or female-ness. Girly-ness.

Guys, I feel myself slipping. Into the realm away from the typically girly things. Into the Unknown!!

I'm not one to stereotype, but someone pointed out that there are some things that a typical girl would take an interest in. Ok. Not someone. It's my mother.

She says I cannot keep wearing lumberjack shirts and discussing physics with her. And no tough army skirt with that random T-shirt. And a little bit of floral would do me good.

Normally I'd tell my mother to please let me be me. But you know what? Sadly, I've found this hole within myself. This hole which I must fill with a bit of girlyness. Because secretly, I kind of like pink. Because secretly, I like little bows and ribbons and going all English Countryside Lass. Because secretly, I enjoy people ~~playing with~~ styling my hair.

Yes, underneath my tough, sci-fi hardened exterior, I'm floral and fluffy, Hmm. Very fluffy.

I needed something to represent this girlyness, so I resorted to stalking the discount-filled halls of the nearest shopping mall. Something that wasn't too pink. Something that wasn't desperately plastic. Something that would still allow me to wear lumberjack shirts and quote Spock AND be girly.

And then I found it. My girly thang. It was like an epiphany. Like when I found out Maggi Noodles were actually from Holland.

Yes, this is it. My girly thang. Hair bands. I swear as soon as I put one of them on, I feel fluffy. I feel some sense of liberation.

I even found one to match my lumberjack shirt. And to test it out I did the Vulcan hand salute while wearing it. I swear, I felt Leonard Nimoy and Zachary Quinto watching me.

Now imagine him with a hair band, Chinese, female and very much younger. That's me!

I swear, hair bands felt right. It felt right with my geekiness. My nerdyness. My inner girly cravings.

Now I'm off to buy them in every conceivable style and colour. Whee!

My Role Models are Big and Funny Guys

2010-06-29T08:16:00.000-07:00

Once, I was a broken blogger who was fresh out of ideas. I stared at the empty screen, unmotivated.

Then I discovered http://www.tremendousnews.com/. It's a funny blog, written by the great Dee, who wants to be a screenwriter. He's tremendous, in his own words. Not only that, after I read it, I discovered that I could identify myself with him.

No one has seen Dee's face yet as far as I know. But he says he's a 30-year old man with moobs, who lives in his parents' basement, who cry-dances to various songs. And stalks Alyssa Milano.

Well, I'm a 16-year old girl with jiggly thighs, who spends 90% of the time in her room, and with self-esteem that oscillates between ridiculously high and ridiculously low. And stalks Zachary Quinto. Yes, some similarity there.

In fact, my self-esteem is so ridiculously high I actually imagine this conversation occurring:

Zachary Quinto: Oh look, you've got that South-east Asian girl following you on Twitter. The one with the jiggly thighs.

John Cho: Like totally, dude. Didn't she ~~stalk~~ follow you first though?

It's so ridiculously high I imagine people like to talk about my jiggly thighs. When actually it's only my family.

Scratch that. Only me. And I'm talking to my blog about it.
Well anyways folks. Follow tremendousnews on twitter. Fan him on facebook. Read his blog obsessively like I do. Because to anyone who has experienced the pain of jiggly body parts, this is something you can read while half-crying and half-laughing. Also if you've expereinced the pains of Twitter and Facebook. The man is wise to the social media. Wise, I tell you.

Courtesy of my friend Lina I have sought refuge in the antics of Gabriel Iglesias. Yes, another big and funny man. He does stand-up comedy. With no rehearsed lines. Just spouts out the stuff. In fact, he's not fat, he's FLUFFY! Here's a link to a youtube bit of him if you have not heard of him:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SsBS9tRdH4

Check out all his other links too!

Here's some fluffy in your face!

Oh I love Gabriel Iglesias. He's a reminder that in our sad sad sometimes degraded world, there is always a big and funny guy you can watch and laugh along with.

Plus he makes me feel better about finishing those last few Oreo cookies that I swore I would not touch. (He likes cake too!)

Doing Bad Things To You

2010-06-28T02:06:00.000-07:00

Alrightly guys, it's time for another chapter of my banal life which I aim to make interesting!

Today's post will be about True Blood. Yes, the summer vampire series.

I feel like a hypocrite because of my scathing hate for vampires (It's Twilight's fault, seriously), but I do indeed like True Blood.

I had such a bias towards vampires that I kinda cringed whenever they came on screen because they were so pale. And up till then the only really pale fellow I'd seen on screen was Robert Pattinson. So, eeeh.

But one thing I thank True Blood for is for having a lead like Sookie. Sure, she's a typical blonde waitress. But she's plucky. And doesn't have a permanent expression of nonchalance on her face (hint hint). And she's telepathic and can shoot light out of her hands. And we're left wondering what the hell Sookie is. And she's not thin and sickly with no direction (*koff* Bella *koff*) She can stand up for herself, and she mouths off at Eric. In short, good personality, interesting to watch!

Speaking of Eric, yes, I've fallen into one of those hot-guy-on-TV-traps again. AGAIN. I told myself, no, Youlin, but did the brain listen? No. Bad brain. Bad bad brain.

But I don't think I'd be wrong in saying that Eric is intriguing. He just comes off as a bad-ass vampire at first, but slowly and bit by bit other facets of him are revealed. There's that element of vulnerability present when his maker Godric enters the scene. (For those not in the know, the maker is the one who well, mades the vampire).

Also I've found Eric's eyes to be quite emotive during scenes. Never mind that they're slightly red and puffy, if he's pissed off you'd know it. Character intonation is good too.

Plot wise, I like True Blood. Plenty of action, maybe a little slow at times but there's an element of danger and suspense. Not to mention LaFayette and Jason Stackhouse provide comic relief at times.

And sometimes I get annoyed because most of the vampires in the show speak like they're a hundred levels higher or something. But you know what? They are! I actually like the character concepts for vampires in the show, it has depth at least. It shows all the dirt and grit and it isn't afraid.

And that theme song is darn catchy. I've been singing "I wanna do bad things to you" to everything. My sister. My iPod. My computer. My dog.

On an unrelated side note, I've finished another pencil portrait. This time it's Zachary Quinto as Spock. (Sorry, I HAD to draw it) It was fun attempting the rather fleshy nose and bowl-cut hair. Thinking of drawing an Eric Northman next. Link to the bigger version: click HERE.

Okie dokies folks! See ya nother time round!

A Geeky Little Poem of Mine.

2010-06-23T03:05:00.000-07:00

There have been several occasions where I've wanted to be an astronomer/astrophysicist. But ultimately, I guess the only thing that I've liked about space is that I have insane dreams and hopes of flying around in it in a huge beautiful spaceship, exploring other planets. Like Futurama, Star Wars/Trek and The Fifth Element. Sometimes I wonder if I'll live long enough for this to happen.

So, I've written a little poem which represents something of these dreams, and what I think it would be like if I were an astronomer of some sort.

The Astronomer

Those feisty little points of light

that we all call the stars.

Some glow dim, some sparkle bright

Some are brilliant enigmas.

When I was young and on a pitch-black night,

They would be strewn across the sky.

But with things like telescopes and Einstein's might,

then only did I start to see why

they actually burnt with that certain red

or some other bluish hue.

Some even went all the way to black

holes that could swallow you.

On a sort of hungry mission

I embraced gravity.

I chewed on nuclear fission

and general relativity.

I kind of lost myself in

that dark abyss called space.

I used to dream that I could win

some fast-paced rocket race.

But no more, because now

I analyse grainy images.

And then I have to find out how

to explain them in the pages

of my latest publication.

There's not much time left for

growing my crazy imagination,

which leaves me a little sore.

I grapple with the mechanics

and solve some complex equations.

Working like some fanatic

bent on finding salvation.

The computer hums, a huge machine

of extensive calculating power.

Strings of data all heaving and lurching

In the background numbers hover.

I used to dream of purple planets

and deep seas of acid green.

But now as my work would have it,

there's only my computer screen.

I discuss object trajectories

and gravitational lensing of light.

Some boring yet exciting territory

but sometimes when I sleep at night

I cast off that technicality

and go back to when I was eight.

In retrofuturistic surreality

the Captain enters the stardate.

I anchor the craft and battle the wrath

of evil aliens cruel with strife.

I hope that before my human death

I'll have the cosmic ride of my life.

Of FMLs and GMHs

2010-06-13T06:12:00.000-07:00

Hello world!

Many of you may be familiar with the website http://www.fmylife.com/. It's full of the sad, angry, very unfortunate chronicles of everyday life. I read it and I laugh at people's misfortune. Then I feel bad and sympathise. Then I laugh again. If you've never read it, go. By all means, click on the link.

Yes I know I'm such a horrible person. =P

You can so tell this guy just posted on FML.

Makes you wonder though: How many FML things happen everyday? The website is swamped with tales of not earning enough, bad hygiene, finding out your best friend is pregnant with your boyfriend's kid, finding out your sister is pregnant with your boyfriend's kid, your parents having discussions about YOU on Facebook, etc.

I swear, it makes my jiggly thighs look really appealing.

Then there's http://www.givesmehope.com/ Which is the exact, non bi-polar version of FML. It's so...sweet. So...'awwwww'. It's full of happiness that will stretch your cheeks so much they'll push into your eyes and hurt you.

Sometimes I wish I felt more like this.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't like happy websites. In fact, I go to them secretly while pretending to the outside world that I'm an unemotional cynical blogger who doesn't care. And then I cry into my pillows at night because I feel for some random person who's had a bit of misfortune but then somethng nice happened to them.

I think I've gone through 3 soggy pillowcases already.

Then it makes me wonder, do those nice things actually happen? I haven't seen much lately. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places. I mean,

Reading the BBC. Oil Spill. Wildlife dead. North Korea and South Korea dispute over a ship. South Korea's rocket failed to launch.

Reading the tabloids: OMG this celebrity is gay! (Or maybe not really, but we don't care do we?) OMG we saw this celebrity pumping petrol! OMG these two random people are dating because they walk next to each other!

I so totally swear these two are dating.

So guys, do you like FML-ing or are you one of those serene GMH-ers? Or are you like me, trying to be funny because you sadly cannot decide on which side you're on? Cbox me, people. Cbox me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some people to laugh at and some pillowcases to replace.

Rocking That Body

2010-06-10T01:55:00.000-07:00

Dear readers,

As it may (or may not) have occurred to you, I'm not very fat, though I'm not exactly the fittest person. Just the other day I was wearing shorts and noticed...

Jiggly thighs. Like quivering slices of bacon, I hit them, and they went boing-boing-boing, vibrating with some weird frequency.

Heck, if I hadn't been so concerned about how flabby they were, I might've even had fun jiggling them.

Anyways, I was indeed concerned about them, so I decided to hop onto my mother's exercise bicycle. Mmm it came with a pseudo-leather seat so that I could feel better about it. Setting my time to 30 minutes of fierce biking, I mobilised my thighs.

Oh wow. At first it was easy. I breezed through 50 cycles in a few minutes. I was going so fast, I could've powered my mobile phone for a while. Then I noticed something.

The "difficulty" wheel was set at 1. 1 out of 8 levels. Dang it, I knew it was too good to be true. Sighing, I cranked it all the way to 6, just to make them muscles suffer. SUFFAH, I tell you.

Oh dear mothership, I felt the strain set in a while later. It built up gradually and ate into the flesh, pulling all those muslces into one massive crying entity. I felt the jelly in my thighs die.

After a while, I got used to it. However, sweat was starting to form now. All over too. The hands, the legs, the forehead. I started to glisten with sweat. Mmm. Shiny. That was probably the only thing that distracted me from my dying legs. Still, I cycled on, on the bicycle that didn't move. Faster! I urged myself. Faster! I pushed as hard as I could, trying my best not to tweak the dial back. I couldn't lose to a bicycle and my jiggly thighs. I just couldn't.

Finally, I stepped off the machine half and hour later. Amid the cocoon of sweat, I could feel the thighs shrink just the tiniest fraction of a centimetre. Still. Better then nothing.

I slapped the thighs, yelling "Who's da man? Huh? Huh?"

"You...are..." they jiggled back.

Science Fiction Should Be More Chick Friendly

2010-06-01T02:53:00.000-07:00

Mmmhmm. I love science fiction. I haven't read much of the genre, and I'm not one of those Hardcore! readers, so I'm not totally gone off that end yet. But I must say, I've read my fair share of parallel dimensions, alien romances, and planets orbiting a few suns. I've watched spoofs and movies and I've decided to dedicate a place in my heart to Star Trek. And Star Wars.
But science fiction is such a guy thing. All the books I've read were written by guys. And they do include some pretty hot/seductive/smart/all of these characteristics alien chicks inside. I've not seen much done for the guys, though it may be just because I haven't read so many other books yet.

Where is the justice, man? Where is it?

Though casting Zachary Quinto as Spock was just brilliant and spiffy. Thank you, whoever it was who set off this chain of events. May the Mothership bless your fortunate soul.

I went googling the other day for retrofuturistic pictures (sci-fi from the 1950s 1960s, sci-fi from the past) and found some really nice ones. But,most of the human pin-up ones were of dangerous sci-fi girls. Here you go:

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these pictures.

There is something fatalistic about the future of humankind that draws me to this picture. Notice how all the astronauts are men. Guess this says something about gender equalities back then.

Pretty and incarcerated sci-fi girl.

There was even a "Sexy Robot" series. Click here to go to the page.

I'm sorry, but sometimes I think sci-fi from the past was like the Playboy for geeks.

I like big futuristic cites and I cannot lie. All you other people can't deny.

So readers, if you see any dangerous-looking sci-fi guys whom I can have a field day staring at, don't hesitate to paste the link into the Cbox on the left!

Though with all the TV shows and movies popping up, I think it's just a question of spending a whole day watching TV to find some. Lazy butts here I come!

Brow Wow

2010-05-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

I was catching up on Heroes the other day (Yes I like to watch my TV shows 3 months later) and I noticed something.

And that something was eyebrows. Specifically, Gretchen's, Claire's and Sylar's eyebrows.

I think that eyebrows don't receive enough attention. They are underrated. And yet eyebrows are fabulous! Here I will explain.

1) Gretchen Berg (played by Madeline Zima)

There's something about Gretchen's character which I like. Can't place my finger on it exactly, but I know those eyebrows must have played a part. I read somewhere that women's eyebrows are sparser than men's so that's why most celebs fill them up.

But I think her eyebrows look pretty natural. Most fill-up ones don't look that thick.

I was brought up around thin eyebrowed-women. Heck, my grandma totally shaved hers off and got blue tattooed ones instead. So to see Madeline Zima's refreshingly and relatively thicker ones is actually very heartening.

2) Claire Bennet (played by Hayden Panettiere)

I'm not actually a big fan of Claire in the series. But she does happen to be cute. Not to mention that I've started admiring those brows everytime she comes on screen

I mean, they're so...triangular. I've tried consoling myself that mine look triangular too, but when I look at my own, I think: triangular balding caterpillars.

Eyebrows can be a real blow to your self-esteem sometimes.

3) Sylar (played by Zachary Quinto)

Now this man has the grandfather of all eyebrows. They're so famous, they've been dubbed Sylarbrows. These eyebrows have been saluted. They have been the subject of lovely poems (ok, maybe I'm lying, but it COULD happen). They have been the cause of my lost productivity (I'm supposed to be sweating over a Chem textbook now). They have been the other cause of my low eyebrow self-esteem.

And when Sylar raises one eyebrow before he kills someone, I find myself upright in my seat, staring at those brows. How does he do it? I wonder, cursing my facial muscles for being so flabby.

I should be pitying the victims, they way they are being carved like Halloween pumpkins. But no. I'm wondering instead how one man can have so much brow.

See. I'm right. Sylar's evilness comes from his eyebrows. I'm more heartless already.

To see how hypnotic his eyebrows are, check out this blog post!

Here's also a blog dedicated to his eyebrows!

In this world where humans are obsessed with tweezing, waxing, and shaving our ancestral biological hairs off, take some time to appreciate your eyebrows.

Now I'm off to flex those balding triangular caterpillars of mine. So long!

When in America!

2010-05-19T07:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the USA disappoints me. It's not the politics. It's not the economy. It's not the obesity figures. It's the...
TV shows.

It's not that they're horrible. It's not that they are overhyped (well, maybe sometimes). It the fact that all my media and entertainment comes from the USA. I watch American movies. Obsess over American actors. I listen to American bands. I avidly follow American TV shows.

Ya hear that, fellow Malaysians? I know half or more of you are watching Glee! right now.

Oh, living in M'sia is great, but we miss out on some perks. For one thing, FAST online TV show streaming. If I lived in the USA and maybe missed an episode of Heroes or two, never mind, just log on and watch it on the computer!

..well, here, apparently I can't because the video is not in my"geographical region".

Geographical region my ass. Isn't Malaysia part of the geographical region called "the Earth"?

Heck, the way the companies broadcast TV shows here, some go on endless repeat of season 3 when the developed world is watching, like, um, Season 5? My favourite character might have died by the time we catch up.

Another thing: spelling. Now I like America. It's the land of the free. The funny. The interesting. But one thing I've gotta say, thanks to you guys my spelling is screwed half the time.

Since Malaysia was colonised by the British, it's been hammered into me since young that I spell words as 'coloUr', 'neighboUr' and 'cenTRE'. My childhood was great and unconfused, because I hadn't come across American books at that time.

Then one day, I saw: "COLOR". Oh, the horror. My English world was shattered. How could these people not spell it with a "U"? Oh, the mocking I received from that cruel cruel word!

It didn't stop there. Pretty soon it was "cenTER", "organiZation", and "neighBOR".

It was bad. Really bad. For the rest of my life I have been writing half my English in American.

Not only that, but how do you pronounce "schedule" anyway?

"Sher-dule" or "Scer-dule"? Huh? Huh? British or American?

Now I speak my English half the time in American too.

Oh well. Seeya folks. I have to go the shopping centre tomorrow with my neighbor so that he can color the walls. Hopefully he can clear his sher-dule for that.

To any USA citizens, sorry if I've offended you. I still like the USA very much.

I Need To Up My Street Cred

2010-05-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

Sooooooooooo...

I was noticing myself one day, and I decided that I'm socially unconventional. Why?

1) I like Star Trek and Physics. Nerd alienation much?

2) I'm not a sing-and-dance person. If I sing, it sounds like bullfrogs. If I dance, a llama frolicking in water could do better.

Haha I beat Youlin's ass at dancing!

3) I don't do sports. Much. Does rolling around on the bed count? Ok, so maybe I can swim and play badminton. But a llama would still probably top me.

So anyway, my sister has done IT. She joined CHEERLEADING. Yeah, she told me "I can't dance". Yet now she is bobbing along to Enrique Iglesias and his song which has played at outrageously loud volumes in my room.

She's also cleared my carpet and is spinning around on the ground and punching...something. Not only that, she's grabbing fistfuls of air and gesturing to what seems to be her...uterus? Omg and my crazy ass cousin who is crazy ass good at cheerleading is helping her.

Yeah, they asked me to join in too, for the fun. Oh well, I may as well humiliate myself in my own room.

Ok, first the superwoman pose. Right leg UP! Then, yawning in a big circle. Yeah, arms wide, work it!

Make an 'L' shape, then do a quick spin (it took me three times as long to spin), and then cross your arms, turn your head a bit, pull some air, pull some more air, crouch.

Then they did the quick fancy moves. Slap your knees, raise hands up to say hello, pull some air (I think no more air was left after that), cross arms like a mummy, point to uterus, slap knees, and SUPERWOMAN!

Note: I'm aware that actual cheerleading isn't like this. It just looks like that to me.

Meh, I'm going to leave organised dancing to the llamas. But if you need me to shake various parts of my body like an idiot at a party with loud music and sweaty sweaty people, I can SO do that.

That is what my 'dancing' is like, anyway. Byeeeeeeeee!

Here are Some Picturesssss........

2010-05-09T08:28:00.000-07:00

This is shameless self-promotion. But I want your constructive critiques too, so fire away.

I've drawn some pencil portraits; what do you think of them? If you have DeviantArt you can go and comment on the bigger version.

Here's Adam Lambert.
Link to Bigger version

Here's Lady Gaga.
Link to Bigger Version

And I actually drew a Nimoy Spock for my dad. Don't like it too much though, eyes looks funny. Ah well.
Link to Bigger Version

Celebrities--We Love Them! We Love Them!

2010-05-05T06:49:00.000-07:00

As you know, or do not know, I am considered a typical teenage girl. Maybe not so typical because of an uncanny interest in physics and Star Trek, but that's not the point.

The point is, celebrities. Don't we all just love 'em? When we watch them in movies and they look just...so...hot.

Oh holy toast, we could just stare all day until we turn bug-eyed. Look at this! It's Josh Duhamel...not!

It's Josh Duhamel, shirtless and in the sun!

We wish we could meet someone like that. I vouch for the majority of the females in my age group when I say this.

People who know me well will also know that I quite like this fella below:

And I don't know why.

I see this man killing people as Sylar on Heroes, and I find that appealing. I see him contemplate silently in Star Trek and make out with Uhura, and the nerd inside me screams in support.

Despite the fact that this man does not know of my existence whatsoever, funny effects appear when I see him on the screen. Happy effects. Suddenly everything is all right. I don't care if you were farting in my face, my sense of smell would probably ignore you if we were watching Heroes. Or Star Trek.

Or even if I were looking at a sribbling which looks vaguely like him.

Oh, we've got it bad. It just takes a picture of these people to send our rational minds flying out the window. BOOM, and your brain's gone.

Oops, there goes mine.

Sometimes I hate myself. ;D

And, (here I speak for my squealing celebrity-obsessed friends) why are all the people we like so old?!!

Here I will provide a comparison.

Yes, here's Robert D. Junior, the man who made us watch Iron Man, Sherlock Holmes, Zodiac, The Incredible Hulk, The Soloist and many more with much pleasure.

Compare that to:

...Robert Pattinson. The guy who made us cringe when we watched Twilight. I'm sorry, but I don't think that Edward hair works off-screen. But you were ok as Cedric Diggory.

So folks, it all boils down to experience (and of course the lucky conditions which make you look even better as you age =)

So long, fellow Earthlings!

I'm going back to swooning over Mr. Quinto now.

And hating myself simultaneously for it.

OMG am I Serious?

2010-04-22T02:53:00.000-07:00

My giant bum of a younger sister gave me a big ass lecture last night. To sum it up in a few points:

1) 'Youlin, you're a NERRRRDDD!'

2) 'Youlin, I cannot imagine you making out. Therefore, if I can't, you must be a lesbian!'

(No offense to any lesbians. My sister just likes lying and using false reasons to support stupid conclusions.)

3) 'Youlin, you rationalise too much. You're a NEEEEEERRRRRRRDDDD!'

I thought I'd write it out for entertainment purposes.

Well, on to the subject. So maybe I'm a nerd. I have 'nerd' hobbies: practicing violin, drawing, reading about physics, and very indoor stuff.

According to my sister, if I had more 'outdoor' hobbies, I would be less 'nerdy'. Well, it's true that exercise is good, but that's not one of the criteria for not being a 'nerd' isn't it?

Anyways, what's so bad/good about being a nerd? I suppose it's fun to be a little nerdy, because you know stuff people usually don't. But then who could you talk to it about? That's where other 'nerds' come in, eh.

And just because you can't imagine me making out with some dude, doesn't make me lesbian. It means that your brain cells aren't firing properly and that you lack imagination. ;)

Are you reading this, sister of mine?

And for the other readers out there, check this out for fun: an article teaching you the difference between geeks and nerds. Whee! http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-the-Difference-Between-Nerds-and-Geeks

Oh, and I found this test online: Are you a nerd, geek or dork?
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=9935030990046738815
If you cannot differentiate the three, just go and take the test--it will explain what they all are.

By the way, I got the result of 'pure nerd'. LMAO! Still, the test guarantees I'll be successful later in my life. Mmhmm, hopefully both financially and status-wise.

Beat that, suckers! =)

Life is a Mathematical Probability.

2010-01-19T03:01:00.000-08:00

Correction. Life is a series of mathematical probabilities.

Yeah, it's another one of those crazy ideas that I hold true for myself. Anyways, the more I think about it the truer it seems.

There has been this concept that writers of science fiction love: parallel realities.

Indeed, if there were many different realities something different would happen in each one, right? Because I think that the outcome of anything depends on many factors. For example, the probability of me being in London now is very very small, but if someone were nice enough to give me a free ticket, and if by chance I have enough money for taxi fare and a hotel, I would be happily sipping a cup of tea over there now.

Unfortunately, no one has showed up at my doorstep to give me a free flight, but it COULD happen. =) Just depends on what people decide to do.

Anyway, I have realised some things about this idea, some practical things.

Firstly, when I use mathematical probability to look at crappy situations, it doesn't seem so bad. Because I always remind myself it's just a probability that the situation went wrong. It could've been better. But for some undissected reason, it chose the sucky probability.

But the probability of you reacting badly to the situation is controlled mostly by one variable--how you choose to react.

My choice has been to treat it as a probability, and just put it behind you. Once it has happened, it technically is considered history. After all it's the now we're really interested in.

I've tried practicing what I preach, and I always feel a lot better after that.

Now there are some things which seem beyond my control. I mean, what are the chances of me getting to met Zachary Quinto and have a full-on conversation with him, right?

I'd probably have to move to LA and end up stalking him or something. =D

But I think the reason why my chances are low is because I feel the need to develop some better conversational skills, and also because meeting Mr. Quinto isn't really part of the list of "VERY IMPORTANT GOALS" that I have somewhere in my brain right now.

But sometime, somewhere, I feel that there is an alternate version of me talking to him right now. =)

So, is mathematical probability really fixed? Or can you change it?

I think that if you have a goal, and you are really fired up about it, and you really feel like plunging straight into it, you can indeed change the probability of success.

I think that if you can really feel that you are doing something good for yourself by achieving a certain goal, no matter how hard you think it is or how tough people say it is, then you will probably not care.

You would probably want to do everything to acheive that goal, so you are inspired to take more action. And as I found out, any action, dumb or smart, is better than not doing anything.

This year I made a resolution to be more social and interactive, and improve conversational skills.

I think it's only the first couple of weeks, but thanks to the clubs at college I've met many nice and interesting people, even though I don't get to see them much except outside class. I've decided to join debate, and actively listen more to people when they talk. I've taken appropriate action, and I feel just a little bit closer to my goal.

Anyway, that's just what I've found out so far. There are people who talk about creating your own reality, and I do believe in that, but it's going to take me quite some time to properly accept it. I mean, in that creating reality thing you can supposedly even change the laws of gravity if you wanted to!

And I just can't really accept shaking up the laws of physics, so I'm gonna stick to working with mathematical probability for now. It's working fine for me.

And probability predicts there are some people who think I'm weird for writing this, but hey, don't knock it till you try it.

And Then It Got Philosophical.

2010-01-18T01:25:00.001-08:00

Firstly, thanks to anyone who reads my blog. I know it's quite few right now, but still, at least there are people. =)

Secondly, I'm just so glad to have resolved a niggling feeling that's been occupying my brain since late last year.

A while ago, I was musing whether I should take up physics as a career. Maybe an astrophysicist or something in the quantum mechanics field. Theory and all that, or carrying out experiments to do with smashing atoms and stuff. But then for a long time I've also wanted to do medicine.

For a while all I did was think about it. You can say I thought myself crazy.

Then a few days ago, while reading about dark energy and the universe, it dawned on me that maybe I didn't want to do physics after all.

You see, the reason I like weird things like spacetime and wave-particle duality is because it's something to think about, a puzzle. And I think in a freaky philosophical sense, I associate it with death. Quantum theory speaks of our consciousness observing things. Is there really such a consciousness in animals?

If you put a cat in a box, and it has the probability of dying or being alive in the next hour, and you need a consciousness to observe just one result, does the cat have its own consciousness?

Or does it need a human being to observe it? And what happens to this consciousness when you die? It is still there?

And where did the universe come from? What happens down a black hole?

If I were a physicist I'm afriad I would be thinking all day. I'll probably think myself to insanity; that's just what I tend to do.

On the other hand if I pursued medicine I would be busy at the least. I would be doing things everyday. I would be doing things that would help people. I would be doing things my whole life, and I wouldn't have the chance to think myself to insanity.

And then perhaps I could read and think about physics in my spare time. =)

I think this is the best resolution I have come up with. I'm happy with it.

Simplify.

2010-01-11T06:41:00.000-08:00

I realise that we worry a lot. I realise I worry a lot too. If you've read my last entry, you'd realise my "worrying" includes a lot of writing things out.

Now that I'm in a more stable frame of mind, I'd like to just write out what I've learnt during the past few days.

1) The world doesn't just revolve around me

I think I've made this mistake before. I'm quite sure most of us do. When we encounter some problems it becomes our world. We spend our days thinking about those problems, and it just consumes us. It takes a while to step back and look at it objectively (being 'logical' as I call it).

If you think about the fact that our own universe could one day contract, or go on expanding until everything in it is torn apart, your own issues start to look really small.

2) Don't overthink.

Guilty as charged. I think a lot. About death, about life, about what I'm going to do next, about why I'm thinking, about global warming, about aliens, about people on the Earth.

I read somewhere that the only thing you ever have is right now, or the present. If you concentrate on the present, you have no need to worry about the past (it's all just in your memories now) or the future (why worry about something you don't know for sure anyway?)

Anyways, I tried it. I lived my days one hour at a time. I pushed myself into whatever things I was doing. I actually concentrated on the moment I did mundane things like shower and eat. When I showered, I concentrated on showering only.

It's actually quite a pleasurable way to live. Most of my unnecessary thoughts were eliminated when I just focused on whatever I was doing. And in a way, I did feel a little more content, a little more satisfied, and a little less worried.

I hope that whatever what I have just said can help you too, in any way imaginable.

Of Blue-Skinned People and Some Results

2009-12-17T06:52:00.000-08:00

Today the college mailed back my results for the first semester exam. Meaning that my parents got to it before I did. Not to brag, but I did good. =) I'm happy I got a good result in Physics, especially since I've developed a newfound interest in it recently.

Today I went to watch Avatar with Lina, Josephine, Imran and Ji Su. Good movie. I loved the graphics and James Cameron's imagination. It's so vivid, and you can really see that he played out his creation with the improved CGI of today.

Synopsis: Jake Sully, a retired US Marine, is sent to a moon called Pandora for a mission where his consciousness is transferred to a blue-skinned body--his avatar. His mission is to collect info in the Na'vi people who live there so that huamns can destroy the forest area and mine the rare mineral needed to solve Earth's Energy crisis.

The Pandora Cameron has created is a forest area, with huge trees for villages that spiral upwards. Large pterodactyl-like creatures serve as living aircraft and mountains float in air, suspended and free from gravity.

The natives are very in tune with nature. Neytiri, one of the main characters, talks about this 'web of energy' that all living creatures have. They only 'borrow' energy as long as they are alive. When you die, you give that energy back.

I couldn't help but think that this is a pretty useful interpretation of death. It certainly made me feel better about it. You are just kind of recycled energy anyway.

The natives also link with their horses and flying dinosaurs by means of connecting their hair to the tiny hairs on the animals. There is this 'bond' between them.

Oh and the interesting part was that their trees have many many things like connected neurons between them. These are like the neurone cells we find in our brains. Only that the tree has like much more, so it serves as a living database. Memories or 'consciousness' of dead people are stored in electrochemical form in the tree.

So you aren't really dead if this is true. There is a sort of afterlife, where people exist in a non-physical form.

So when the natives link with the tree, they can access all memory banks. Very cool. And it just might be possible, maybe in another time, or maybe this needs another planet for life to evolve like this.

I think overall the director was alsotrying to spread a "keep the Earth green" message, because we only really have one to live on for now. I agree.

Starting today, I'll take a moment to feel grateful whenever I blog. Today, I will say thank you to James Cameron for making an insightful and entertaining movie.

Living Life Logically--Day 30

2009-11-01T01:47:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of my 30-day trial of living logically. This is the day on which I decide to either continue living in this way, or not to.

So would I contiune to live logically?

Of course! For as long as I live. =)

These past 30 days have been a great experience for me, and I have learnt a lot about the basis of logic and the line between logic and emotion.

One of my original goals was to get rid of irrational fear, such as fear of noises in the dark, fear of what other people say, and fear of being responsibility and getting things done. I thought, it wouldn't be logical to be afraid of something that you don't even want to approach.

Another goal was to control my emotions and prevent them from taking over me totally. This proved to be quite successful as well, and I am better at dealing with emotions such as frustration and anger. When I usually felt bad, I would ask myself: "Is it logical to waste energy on feeling this way? Or would you rather learn what you have to and get over it?"

This logical lifestyle helped me to get over general laziness as well. Instead of wasting my time hour by hour, now at least I waste it minute by minute. =) I'm still practicing waking up early, like 4.30 am, to get things done. And so far, it's good. I have indeed, cleared up more free time for myself.

There was a little dilemma along the way, which was me wondering whether to be a physicist or study medicine. I've decided--its' medicine, because I think that if I get really good at it, I get to be in touch with people, and then contribute more directly to the advancement of the human race. It's a big hope, but I think it's more logical to be hopeful than pessimistic, since we live in the present, not the future. At the least, you can make your present moment a great one.

Oh, and I saw the Twitter account of a doctor working in the International Space Station which is orbiting around Earth. One day, I would like to be a space doctor too, working in space, floating around in the cosmos. Like Bones from Star Trek! Now this hope, I know, is achievable.

Speaking of Twitter, I used it a LOT during the last 30 days, and I found so many inspirational quotes from very motivating people, who all found me on Twitter by chance. They all share the common belief that how our reality is, is how we want to create it. In other words, your thoughts can actually create things. I do believe in this because there are scientists who actually research such things, for example those from the Institute Of Noetic Sciences (from Dan Brown's book, but it's a real institution). Their findings point to the fact that our thoughts can indeed change things.

Moreover, I experienced a new sense of calm during my logic trial. By not succumbing to destructive emotions, I could actually see bad things as something to learn from, not something designed to stop me. After all, life is a learning process, all of it.

Besides negative emotions, I did actually dissect some positive ones, such as celebrity crushes. I've arrived at the conclusion that part of any crush happens because we feel that we see something in the other person that corresponds to us. For example, I'm always very inspired by the way actors and actresses act on screen, and how they play different emotions and roles so well. There is something about this skill and confidence that I myself wish I had more of (I'm not a very confident person sometimes).

In short, I believe all crushes have this element of admiration that we feel for the other person, something that seems, to me, to be a way of saying we are all connected some way, by consciousness. (See living life logically day 4)

So what's next, you ask? Well, this is only the beginning; I may start a series of new trials with logic, such as using it to improve socially, or using it to ask deeper questions such as "Why are we here?"

But now, I'll probably just take a break for a week or so before starting the next trial.

To anyone who read any part of my blog, thank you for your time. I hope I have inspired you to live a bit more logically. If I haven't, thank you for getting to know my thoughts anyway. ;D

Living Life Logically--Day 29

2009-10-31T07:48:00.000-07:00

Wow! It's the 29th day of my logical self-trial. I'll post my verdict on it tomorrow. haha. Keep you waiting.

Well, the college's Scarefest was good. =) Sugee and gang really worked their butts off making the haunted house. Which was a blast, by the way. Appropriately spooky and authentic. Especially that creepy background noise she managed to download... They really had fun. All in all, great!

I went as the female Spock, by the way. It felt so good to be so logical. Really. I felt very 'in the zone', and all I did besides helping out was to feel so happy that the Scarefest was going quite well. I'll just put up a photo here:

From the left: Imran (he was the mad scientist) Esther, (the one dressed as a witch) Isabelle (She did the lighting and sounds for the house) and well, that's me on the very right. Oh, and the bloodstained mannequin which was subject to much molestation.

Speaking of Halloween, I'll talk about brains now. My grandma has Alzheimer's dementia, and while not in the worst stage yet, she has moments where she can't remember who we are or what day it is or what she just did.

It's sad, really. I still wonder why this disease is so common, and as of now there is no fixed cure, only drugs that can stall the progress of the disease. I think I want to read up more on this disease, and I saw some interesting brain books in the bookstore as well, including "My Stroke of Luck" and "Brain Rules".

"My Stroke of Luck" is about the victim of a stroke to the left brain, who is forced to use her right brain instead. The left brain is the logical, analytical side, while the right brain is creative and intuitive. By focusing using her right brain, the author found a whole new sense of inner peace and ascceptance that her left brain wouldn't allow otherwise.

"Brain Rules" talks about how the brain works, how we are programmed for lifelong learning, and how to use your own brain to your best advantage. I plan to buy either both or just one of these books sometime in the future, they seem really interesting. And they seem to give logic a whole new meaning--for me, I think it has to involve emotions, but the only thing is, don't let the emotions overtake you.

Sorry Spock, I don't think cutting out your emotions totally is right. :D

Living Life Logically--Day 27

2009-10-29T07:30:00.001-07:00

It has now occurred to me that I may not have made some very logical chocies concerning my time management skills, and my activities.

I mean, Japanese class every Thursday night for 2 hours?

Violin practice every day for the exam.

Applications to universities that must be finished by the early half of next year.

On top of it all, A-levels.

Don't get me wrong--I'm not complaining too much about it. But it is getting a little overwhelming right now. That's why I'm blogging about it--in order to get it out of my system. With all the projects and stuff, ergh.

Not to mention weekends are for 'family time' and stuff so I have to squeeze even more out of my weekdays.

A totally logical person would probably make timetables everyday and follow it. I know I'll kill myself trying to follow a nice fixed timetable, so I've just shrunken it to reminder lists and a list of important dates to keep track of. Not very detailed, but it works. =)

Oh. And sleep. I need to sleep, so that the brain can actually rest. (Unless it's producing freaky time-travel dreams).

Living Life Logically--Day 25

2009-10-26T16:45:00.000-07:00

Um...it's day 25 of the living life logically challenge--going to end quite soon. But up till then, let's just go along for the ride. ;D

This Friday is the college's Halloween scarefest, I was thinking of going either as a pirate or the female Spock. But most likely the female Spock. However, pointy ears are hard to find in Malaysia, and my craft-making skills are brrflppt. Most probably I'll pin my hair so my ears look like they're pointy and sticking out or something. It's time to improvise. ;)

I have been warned that I risk social suicide if I go as the female Spock. Come to think of it, I'm not even sure whether there are many Star Trek fans in school apart from me, Sugeeta and Jinn. Oh well. The main thing is for me to have fun, eh. Shouldn't care too much about what other people think.

Here I must remind myself again that the purpose of living life logically is to remove irrational fear, and one of the irrational fears is fear of what other people would say. As long as I'm cool with it, it shouldn't matter.

Living Life Logically--Day 22

2009-10-24T03:52:00.000-07:00

I have nothing much to blog about today, except that Joo Yun came over and we studied together because there's a lotta darn things to study. I think it was a good idea because we actually managed to concentrate on our work...if I were studying alone today I probably would've ended up watching some random series or movie on the computer instead.

So now, I can waste my time without worrying too much about it. =)

I think A-levels can turn you into a homebody. But I don't really mind. My hobbies are pretty much one-person affairs such as reading, blogging, drawing and playing music.

But I'm sure you don't want to just read about my day. So today I'll just blog about people's hobbies and interests, including my own.

As you probably already know, I enjoy watching Sci-Fi, (Spock! Star Trek! Big Bang Theory! The Fifth Element!) and also reading sci-fi novels. (Dune, Zima Blue, Artemis Fowl is to some extent quite sci-fi-ish).

And you may wonder how I can like sci-fi, especially if you don't like it, or if you don't understand it. Well, I sometimes also wonder how some people can like shopping and totally commit themselves to it, following all the trends and such.

To put it basically, sci-fi is some sort of escapism for me; the shows I watch and the books I read are like places where I let my imagination run along with the story, and forget about the outside world for a while.

I also like the hope that sci-fi offers: a glimpse at how our human race may advance, or triumph, and cross new boundaries, and also at the same time, understand ourselves better. I actually enjoy reading books on modern physics because it's so weird and so arcane, yet, it seems, we might actually be on the way to understanding the very nature of the Universe and reality itself.

It might seem like a very big hope to you, but it's certainly a hope that I enjoy indulging in.

Another thing is, what do you enjoy? What hobbies do you fill up your spare time with? I guess it's unrealistic to expect everyone to share the same hobbies and tastes because the world is a great big spinning blob of rock and metal, and there are so many different things you can take an interest in.

Hobbies are great things because they are like creative outlets for people to express themselves, whether it's by playing piano or critically reviewing a book or playing sports or having a Grey's Anatomy marathon. It's so great to actually say, "I made that." or "I think that this is..." because your hobbies and interests feel natural to you.

My hobbies and interests somehow make me feel...connected, not just to people who share my interests, but to the things I'm interested in as well, along with everything else. And I feel just so very happy when I think about that.

It all started with a Big Bang, and everything we like and everything we are came from that. It just makes me feel so...peaceful, and now getting to know different people seems more like getting to a different part of the big picture, a different piece of the puzzle, even if the different pieces aren't the same as you, or even if they don't think and act like you. Yeah, even if they downright clash with you.

I'm feeling quite postitive as I wrap up this post. And that is good.

Living Life Logically--Day 21

2009-10-22T16:58:00.000-07:00

Haven't blogged for two days...

Anyways, I've just finished reading Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol. Good book. Good twists. But I think it wasn't much of a thriller, rather it was more like a way to spread a message to the public.

What message was it huh?

Basically he's trying to say: God lies within the human him/herself. We all have untapped potential just waiting to be used in the right way.

Some evidence offered by the book includes the scientist Katherine Solomon talking about the brain scans of meditating yogis, which show that the brain's pineal gland produces a wax-like secretion which actually repairs and heals cells. I'm not too sure about this, gotta do some reading on it. The book thinks that this may be why yogis can live so long.

I've also heard about gamma-waves emitted by the brain in a highly meditative state.

But I fully support the idea of there being unlimited potential in the human mind, and that our thoughts can affect things. Supposedly, the book says our thoughts have mass. And like anything that has mass, it exerts a certain gravity. So if many people share the same thoughts, i.e. mass worship, mass prayer, or even just thinking happy thoughts, it could actually change an aspect of our physical reality.

I've had some success with my own thoughts and intentions too.

I've had pretty positive expereinces with Twitter. I joined initially to stalk famous people, but at the same time, I wanted to find positive people, ones who actually cared about changing reality.

I didn't know who these people would be, but after a few tweets, some random positive people actually started following me. And more and more came. More positive people are adding me to their list. And all I had to do was to be confident and think positively that I would achieve my goal.

I even thought more about reading the news and knowing what's going on in the world. And an account which provides regular news updates started following me too.

So keep an open mind...and try out the power of intention.

Living Life Logically--Day 18

2009-10-20T05:32:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry to all readers who have been following my posts so far, lately it's all about me rambling on and on about choosing medicine or astrophysics as a career...

Anyways, attended a Michigan State University talk today; found out more info about the U.S. university system; I quite like the fact that everyone needs to learn a bit of science and arts in the first two years of undergraduate study.

Today, we had our bio presentations on infectious diseases. My group did AIDS, and even though we were a bit fast, I thought we were ok. Not too bad. I sat in with Lina and Josephine on BS6's presentations as well, the other class was good. We only managed to watch until Izzie and gang's presentation, but still, fascinating.

When I watched all those presentations, I felt a twinge of sadness when I saw the videos of all the victims of diseases, especially those who cannot be cured even though the disease is treatable, as they live in poverty.

I guess, medicine offers something up-close and personal, as I would interact with many many human beings, as opposed to astrophysics. To me, somehow, interacting with many people seems part of any job I would like to have.

I find people interesting. I find their views interesting, even those who believe in things I wouldn't. Yes, even sick people are interesting.

I think I am an optimist; besides all the sick twisted criminals and crazy people in the world, I feel that we can advance, and we can indeed put aside our differences and world towards that advancement.

In fact, I believe that once we learn to unify ourselves properly as a race and civilisation, then only can we proceed to the very big stuff like space travel and intergalactic visits at speeds previously unimaginable. Who knows, we may actually find life and civilisation beyond Earth.

This sounds a lot like Star Trek, huh? But think about it: if we unify ourselves, we are a force of 6 billion with many different talents, and all of that can be extracted for use. And if we use our technology and konowledge properly, then we can certainly tackle bigger things like venturing out into space, and understanding more about the nature of this bizarre but wonderful Universe we happen to find ourselves in.

As a human race, we aren't very advanced as a whole yet. If we were, there would be no separation of less and more economically developed countries, and no cases where people who are too poor to afford treatment...I've also read a bit about the U.S.A's healthcare reform, and it just seems so tangled at the moment.

Well, I just got to thinking, I'd get to make a more direct contribution to the human race in the field of medicine. My dad gave me some inspiration too; he said, "It will be a wonderful time when technology has eliminated the need for surgery. And it will be even better if a surgeon pioneers the surgery-less technique."

I haven't made a fixed decision yet, but I figure I could always study medicine and then study the physics on the side. This option seems to work best with me, and it feels the best to me; well, it wasn't made on a logical basis, but more of an intuitive basis. But logically, I get the best of both worlds this way. =D

Living Life Logically--Day 17

2009-10-19T06:07:00.000-07:00

Quickie blog.

I talked to teachers and career guidance counsellors at the college today; they said they'd help me find out more, but I would have to do my own homework and research too, on astrophysics and careers in astronomy.

Geographical location and facilities are big influences, so the U.S.A or U.K. would seem like the best places to go. Australia is alright, but facilities wise it's not like what the U.S. would have.

I've also checked out job and employment statistics (U.S.), and I must ask myself if I'm really willing to commit to academia and a life of research instead of an industry, like medicine.

The option of me just learning and reading up on physics and astronomy on the side while pursuing a career in medicine seems the most sensible choice still.

If I think about this any more, I'll go crazy. Best to just focus on A-levels for the time being, and wait for my thoughts to calm down.

Living Life Logically--Day 16

2009-10-18T07:27:00.000-07:00

The last two or three days have been a bit...emotional for me.

It's mainly about the decision to study medicine, or to become an astrophysicist. Or more specifically, cosmology with all the dark matter and all that.

See, I just found out that career opportunities are quite limited. And the pay isn't great, but if you're doing what you love then it shouldn't matter.

And you have to be good at computers...and I'm not that into computer science. But mainly, it's maths and physics, and I like both subjects a lot.

For a girl from Malaysia, where could I work? People would say NASA of USA has the best technology; but what about other countries? I have to find out more before I decide to plunge totally into astrophysics.

What disturbs me is that I became interested in stars and galaxies and space and sci-fi and life in outer space before I ever found biology and chemistry and life on Earth interesting.

Most people would say follow your heart and do what you love. I'm inclined to do so, but then again my parents are quite pro-enter the medical field. My mother has hinted to me though that she'll support whatever I decide to do. =)

It's like some mid-life crisis, only I'm not even middle-aged yet.

The other disturbing thing is that when I was young (6-8 yrs) I was really interested in space; then I forgot about it from then on until late last year or so. And then this year I read some stuff about quantum physics combined with some astrophysics. And boom. Interest rekindled. Is this some kind of prompt to ask me to decide wisely, before I enter univesity and it's too late to turn back?

Or is my sudden rekindled interest in physics merely a passing fancy?

I also find images of outer space and planets and nebulae very beautiful, compared to people's organs and X-rays and CT scans.

I really need to talk to other people to find things out; that's the logical side of me talking. The logical side also says to consider income and supporting myself.

Hmm. The logical and intuitive sides of me are both urging me to actually discover what I really want to do with my life.

Even though this is quite unsettling for me, I place my trust in myself, and I'm sure the answer will be clear after a while.

After all, it's only logical to do what you love for this lifetime, and make the most out of it.

Living Life Logically--Day 15

2009-10-17T03:39:00.000-07:00

Today's post is about logic and a decision.

So last night, I bought some random sci-fi from MPH and I found myself feeling very excited as I stared at the spaceship on the cover.

Spaceships make me happy. And excited. And I feel that at last, there may be some hope for mankind.

No, it didn't happen after watching Star Trek. I've always been interested in space and whatever else there is out there since I was young. Star Trek just happened to bring that interest back. =)

I'm not sure if this is permanent or not, but I find my interest in Physics growing beyond that of Biology. I still like Bio, just not as much as I used to. I'm guessing that the sudden interest came after I read some stuff on string theory and quantum physics and relativity...

It's all very fascinating to me. I especially like the fact that modern physics is so far out from what we call 'logic' and 'common sense', but yet it is true. It's been proven, to some extent at least. An example was the photon polarisation experiment which proved that something is measurable only because we INTEND to measure it.

Well, now I'm not sure whether to pursue a career in physics or medicine. It's always been medicine, but now I hesitate, because the idea of being a physicist is quite...tempting. I'm particularly interested in modern physics with all its sub-atomic particles and such.

I like the fact that modern physics is coming closer to looking at consciousness, and how our thoughts can affect physical matter. It's the whole Law of Attraction at work, and I'm excited at what physics can actually prove.

Hmm. And the Large Hadron Collider at CERN may actually be suffering from time travel consequences. Google "time travel LHC".

It's an exciting time to be alive.

I was thinking about this problem last night before I fell asleep and I had the weirdest dream after that.

My whole family went to a cinema and we were planning to watch Superman or some film like that, can't remember. Then, suddenly, the screen went dark and I saw planets coming onto it and...

...the film turned out to be Star Trek. And not only that, a whole new storyline that was just too random and weird. (let's just say it involved Kirk and Spock hanging out by a river with drunk people) Then I woke up, and felt like I didn't sleep at all! Like I was moving from the dream world into the real one, smooth transition, no sleep in between.

Geez, I don't know whether my obsession with spaceships and aliens is finally manifesting itself, or whether it's a sign that I carry on with physics instead of medicine.

What would I do, logically?

Well, I've listed some upsides and downsides.

Physicist upside:
1)I get to wonder about atoms and string theory and consciousness and time travel all the time.

2)It's so very exciting to me.

3)I get to do maths, which I like.

4)I feel that I want to understand more about the fundamental nature of reality.

Downsides:
1)There's a LOT of math involved. I don't know for sure if I want to touch that.

2)I don't get to be around as many people as I would if I studied medicine. And I find people interesting.

Medicine upside:
1) I get to improve people's quality of life.

2) I get to meet a lot of different people, which I like. Even if most of them will be sick.

3) In a mechanical sort of way, the human body is interesting.

4) I still get to wonder about consciousness and the brain.

Downside:
1)It just doesn't seem as interesting as physics now. I like schizophrenic atoms more.

Well, I guess the best answer I can give now is to still pursue medicine, while at the same time, I can always read up on the physics on my own. After all, the math IS a lot, and I just like to understand the concepts.

Well, I don't really want an either/or option. I'm looking for a way to combine both my interests, and I think that is the best way to go about it.

What do you guys think?

Living Life Logically--Day 13

2009-10-15T03:31:00.000-07:00

Today's my birthday. Hit the sweet 16 mark. Got some very thoughtful gifts today (thanks guys for the delicious fruit cake, and the poster of Zachary Quinto, Eric Dane and Jonathan Rhys Meyers and the spongy gooey choc cake from my family, and the cutest cow plushie on Earth from my cousin.

Thank you friends and family--you guys are so meaningful.

Since I haven't blogged yesterday, I will blog today. Today's post is about logic and fame.

So I have done some logical dissection thing on our celebrity crushes. (Living Life Logically day 3) Wouldn't it be great to meet someone you really respect and admire? And not only just in a (oh my god he's like so hot) kind of way. It goes for liking what they're good at, and their skills.

Well, I want to meet the 3 guys mentioned above in the 1st para. But I wouldn't just spaz and be hyper if I do (at least I hope not!) I don't know, guess I'd just like to have a good conversation instead of random hyperness eh. Y'know, tell them how much of a positive impact they've had on my life and all that (I get happy just watching TV shows and movies) and I'm a fan of your work and how can you act in so many different roles and blah.

Hey, I'd even like to meet Einstein (if he were still around) and Stephen Hawking and famous people in the sciences. (I get happy just reading about science too). Listen to them talk about non-locality and spacetime and black holes and wormholes and stuff like that.

I've actually even thought of becoming famous, just to see what it's like to have hordes of fans expressing their adulation.

Hey, but fame does come at a price. I mean, just look at them tabloid magazines. There's just no preserving your privacy sometimes. I wonder how celebrities and what not feel about it.

So if I do become famous, I don't want to be very famous and stuff; it'll be the end of any private life, I think. Hmm. I think, for the record, I want to be famous for some contribution to science. Yeap, I think being famous for the performing arts has pretty much beeen covered already. ;D Maybe I'll be semi-famous. Famous within my community or area which I live in, I think. Yeah. That seems better.

I want to talk a bit about the Law of Attraction. My friend Esther is a big believer of it. If you hold a thought long enough in your head, it will manifest. I believe in it too, because it has worked for me.

So Esther asked me: "Why don't you just manifest meeting all these people that you want to meet?"

Good question. However, sometimes I always think that famous people are too far away from me. Well, I guess it's time to change all of that. Article about Anton Zeilinger and quantum physics in SEED magazine: http://seedmagazine.com/content/article/the_reality_tests/ aims to prove that we do indeed create the world we live in, just by thinking it.

Of course, it would be quite far-fetched to say that if we don't think about the Moon, it doesn't exist. But...it might be proven one day. ;D

But on a small microscopic scale, Mr. Zeilinger and team have tried to measure the polarisation of light particles (photons). Now I don't exactly know what that is, but the point is that they were trying to measure something which defined a photon.

So people generally think that the polarisation exists before we take something to measure it, so it is already there. It's just like how we think our world already exists without us thinking about it.

But the experiment showed that the polarisations truly didn't exist before being measured. In other words, the polarisations only exist because we tried to measure them. if we didn't try to measure them, we wouldn't have polarisations to measure. I guess you could say our thoughts of measuring them create the polarisations.

So now he is trying to prove the same result with larger objects such as mirrors. I'm not exactly sure what he plans to do, but it's the start of a new way of looking at things for me.

So can I really use the Law of Attraction to manifest meeting famous people? Well, Mr. Zeilinger's experiment has given me hope. To put it logically, if the mind really affects our world, then by thinking negatively I would only send out negative results. Hence, a positive mind would send out positive results. So, wouldn't it be better for me to send out positive thoughts?

Well, sorry for the long post. Had a lot to talk about. I'll post more on the Law of Attraction (LoA) tomorrow, and other things.

Living Life Logically--Day 11

2009-10-12T17:03:00.000-07:00

Today's post will be on logic and the supernatural.

My friend Lina says that all her logical friends seem to see things in black and white. They don't allow for exceptions or flexibility. Now, to me, doing that seems illogical. I admit that logic isn't always infallible; being too logical restricts your opinions and options.

Last night, I had a little discussion with my cousin Ee about the supernatural. Our other cousin, J, used to work at a TV production company. They sent her out on weird assignments like filming ghosts and other ethereal things.

So J said that she has actually seen some of these supernatural beings. They usually reside in 'kampung' or rural areas. J was a camerawoman, and was filming a group of people when one of them had his eyes turn red and he went crazy, just chasing people around. And she caught it all on camera.

When a close relative of yours tells you this sort of thing, there really is no reason for them to lie. So, I quite believe J. Even my mother has told me that she has seen my deceased grandmother's spirit. So, I don't think it is logical to totally disapprove of ghosts and things.

J stayed at a nice 5-star hotel during an assignment once. Suddenly, at 12 am, the TV which she'd left on kept going on and off. She had two phones and they kept flicking on and off simultaneously. Logically, she would have run out of the door, right? But she was so freaked out she couldn't move. Would be the same for me too if I were the one.

So she did the next best logical thing--contact Ee's mum by phone, even though it kept going on and off. Eventually she reached Ee's mum, who told her to repeat a Buddhist chant to herself. Religion, as she sees it, is just to give you strength when you need it, no need to be too fanatical about it.

So J repeated it over and over, and it made her clamer. eventually she gained courage and rushed out of the door to the receptionist. She learnt that they had got her room number wrong, but the records were lost and they didn't know who gave her the wrong key. "No-one's supposed to get your room," they said.

As I see it, all this sort of spirits and stuff are like pools of energy. According to what I hear from my family, they attack you when you are in low spirits, or in general negative and gloomy. My belief is that when you are in that sort of state of despair, your energy seems to match theirs, so they affect you more. When you are positive, you are on a different energy level, so they don't affect you at all.

I did blog about consciousness once (see Living Life Logically Day 4). It wouldn't be too far to say that spirits and all may just be yet another different representation of consciousness. It just seems logical to think about them this way. What about you?

Living Life Logically--Day 9

2009-10-10T23:43:00.000-07:00

Today, logic was put to the test. A nice, big test.

I find it really funny that when I tried to live logically, somehow my sentences got "cut"--I spoke only the basics of the sentence, and sounded quite emotionless. Instead of "Oh My God that movie was like, the greatest thing since sliced bread!" I said ,"Fascinating movie. Food for thought."

I started laughing when my sisters told me to cut it out, talking that way. I just have to THINK that way, I guess.

Anyway, my parents gave a me the "you are growing up so you'd better be more responsible" talk. Apparently I don't help out enough, I don't keep track of my money properly, and I don't consider timing and circumstances when I ask for favours from them.

To consider it logically, this means I'm going to have to start being more helpful around the house if I want to make a nice, good impact on them. Oh well, another challenge to overcome. =)

Well, today my father got really angry due to various reasons, among which involved him fetching me to the other side of town last night at 8.00pm (so he couldn't rest) and also him fetching me to Japanese class today (so he had to put up with lunchtime jams).

I think the poor guy is stressed, from work and all. No, I do not intend to sound patronising, but I really think that is the reason. He worries too much. About what? I think, practically everything, about the house, about me, about my sister, about his job, well, even about himself.

I'm aware that this is rather personal, so I don't know why I'm typing it here. But perhaps it does help me to think about it in a clearer way. Why do most adults I know look stressed? Or maybe it just happens to be in my family's genes. =P

I haven't found a logical answer to why adults around me look stressed, but I think I've figured out how to minimise their stress. I guess, I just have to lay low, and avoid saying anything incendiary. And also at the same time, just keep a positive mindset, and just concentrate on doing what I'm supposed to do (studently stuff, house help, etc...)

I figure that if adults don't have to worry about me, they'll have less on their plates, at the least.

But this much I know: I definitely don't want to look and be so worried by the time I reach adult-money-making-hood. I just don't think it's logical to be so worried.

Living Life Logically--Day 7

2009-10-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

I feel quite good about my logical progress so far, after a week. Even though there were times of annoyance, at myself and other people, I'm comforted by the fact that some logical assurance was enough to make me see things another way. Yes, even though it sometimes took hours or a day to come to terms with the logic.

I'm going to give an example: Waking my sister up after her nap. It's practically impossible. She'll sleep on and on for two hours even though she has told you to wake her up after 15 mins. Normally when I try to wake her I'll shake her roughly or something, maybe poke her hard if I need to.

This time, I tried talking logically to annoy her. It worked. I said stuff like, "Well, you have a test tomorrow and it would be unwise to continue napping." and also "You should eat something for energy."

Well, she got annoyed and woke up, not forgetting to curse me as I walked out of the room. I usually respond with a simliar curse. To take it logically, she's just grumpy because her nap's been interrupted, so I tried ignoring her for a bit. And sure enough, 15 mins later she's all smiles.

It may seem like a lame example, but I'm afraid I don't have a better one. :D

I'm also testing out a theory: sleeping early and waking up even earlier. I figured that since I'd have to be at college by 8.30 for five days per week and have to get up early (about 6-ish), I'd try to wake up earlier (4.30am) and do stuff. Like unfinished homework. Or the revision for chemistry (with Ms. Nor you have to be on your toes, aye.)

...So at night I'd sleep at 9.00 or 9.30 instead of the usual 11.00 or 12.00. And I could find plenty of time to do things like watch movies and learn how to cook by the time I came back home. It's quite logical to me, because I get distracted at night easily (by numerous things) and I don't get much done. Solution: do stuff in the morning.

So...anyone heard of the Big Bang Theory TV series? It's a sitcom about these two physicists, Leonard and Sheldon, who live across from Penny, a stereotypical pretty "dumb blonde". Actually, Leonard and Sheldon are the typical geeks/nerds you come across, with their social circle of Myspace friends, and TV marathons of Battlestar Galactica and Star Trek.

...The TV marathons part sounds like what I would do. =P

So imagine two smart guys and a simple girl. result: Funny! I've only watched the pilot episode so far but I already like it. Leonard and Sheldon talk about serious science all the time, like string theory and quantum physics and events and causality, but they still manage to inject humour into it. And they're so logical but awkward, which makes it all the more entertaining.

Signing off, people. Have a great weekend.

Living Life Logically--Day 6

2009-10-08T04:53:00.000-07:00

Today's post will be on logic and reading the news.

Critical thinking skills is one of the subjects I take at school, and having good general knowledge is quite a big advantage. I admit that my level of general knowledge is not satisfactory; therefore I am now aiming to read the news on the BBC website everyday.

Technically, I'm supposed to be at Japanese class now but there's an Elluminate live Chemistry class again tonight. Speaking of the Japanese, my dad just hit me with a piece of news:

"Hey, you'd better watch this documentary. You know what it's about? It's about WWII, when the Japanese raped and killed Korean women and other citizens. Then you'll see what's so damn great about your Japanese. "

To which my mother added (oil to fire) : "Trust me, you won't even like Japan after this."

If you are Japanese and you happen to be reading this far, I apologise.

It's true that they have performed devastating and torturous acts. My great-grandfather was one of those who was snatched away during the war one night, and never returned. Gone. And of course, the rape of Nanjing. The invasion of Manchuria, Malaysia, bombing of Pearl Harbour.

And yet, I like Japan. I will gladly eat Japanese food, watch anime, draw manga-style. I find it interesting, just like how you'd find a different culture interesting. I actually bothered to learn Japanese.

Well, the best I can do to defend myself is to say that my interest in Japan focuses more on their language, culture, and tradition, and is somewhat anthropological, instead of their part in the wars, and the killings.

Wouldn't it be illogical then, if I still say this even though I know what they have done?

The best answer I can come up with is this: I'm optimistic. And I'm thankful, for being born into this time period of the 2000s, instead of right into WWII. Remember, it wasn't just the Japanese; there were the Nazis too. At least today, we are more civilised compared to the people of yesteryear (by my reckoning).

I'm optimistic that overall, we will be better off as a human race then we once were. Still, I acknowledge that there are still many problems in this world of ours, still many things that need to be sorted out. Reading the news gives you a shot of reality, but it certainly doesn't do much for optimism.

I don't know what you think, but I would not want to harbour hate towards Japan. I find it tiring, a waste of energy. Yet I'm not stripping off my emotions; I just don't want to find reasons to hate people anymore. I think that after 6 decades, we should've all learnt a lesson from the war already. What has happened has happened, and the only thing we can change, is NOW. The present.

http://seedmagazine.com/content/article/the_reality_tests/

I'm going to read and read the article on top. I think you should too. We have actually come to an age where science has sped up and raised questions which were formerly unknown, or ignored, or simply not been thought of.

This article explores the concept of past, present and future from a quatum science point of view. Apparently, a team of scientists in Vienna have deduced that our 'past' and 'future' are fluid things, and always change. The only thing that ever 'really' exists is the concept of "Now".

They are implying that we do indeed create the environment we live in, just by thinking about it.

I'll post my thoughts on the article either tomorrow or a few days later. Happy reading. Leave some comments if you will. Is my optimism seemingly in contradiction with my logic?

Living Life Logically--Day 5

2009-10-07T01:06:00.000-07:00

Blogging now, because tonight there's an online class hosted by Miss Nor. Chemistry. =)

Well, I had the first great illogical moment in 5 days. Not too bad, holding on for 5 days so far.

It was something like this:

During lunch, my mother rang me and said that she was in the college as she happened to be around the area. And that she'd like to join me for lunch before taking me home.

Now normally I wouldn't have minded, but just so happens that I had to preempt things. The reason being, I was at lunch with friends, and I just felt weird if my mother suddenly happened to step in and join.

I mean, I wouldn't know how to act, or what to say. I felt really awkward. So I told her, and naturally, not-good things happened.

She went all huffy and stuff and sounded really dejected and things like that. It's quite annoying, really, because it made me feel lousy inside. Like I just completed a massacre or something.

Then she said, "YOU created this situation, by saying all that."

And then I was left wondering what was the logic in her sentence. I'm pretty sure most of you wouldn't want your mothers sitting at the same table with you and your friends.

But what if I'd agreed, and not protested? Logically, would anything really devastating befall me? Maybe the worst would be if I'd suffered some embarrassment, but I think by embarrassment standards my mum is not too bad.

The whole point of this logical lifestyle for 30 days was to get over irrational fear. I suppose that includes fear of embarrassment. Heck, if I were seriously logical I would know exactly what to say and act in any situation. I shouldn't have felt weird.

It turned out for the better, though, because the food took ages to arrive so I'd have left anyway by the time my mother came. She's also not familiar with the place so the restaurant directions were confusing to her.

Well, I suppose I made it up to her though, because I ended up submitting some business cases for her anyway when I came home.

Looks like I have to sharpen my logic a bit more.

Living Life Logically--Day 4

2009-10-06T01:46:00.000-07:00

Today, we dissected a heart in Bio class. It was...fascinating, though the scalpel was so blunt I was surprised it could cut through anything at all.

Anyway, I thought I'd clear up some confusion about yesterday's blog, because here I received some comments:

Sugeeta: "You mean you see people as male versions of yourself? Woah...And what if you happen to like people with crappy personalities?"

Lina: "So in your blog you said you'd like to marry someone who is exactly like you..."

Kay, I'll try to dissect this logically.

First off, when I mentioned that we can see ourselves in others, it's not like a male version of yourself. Or a female one. The fact is, we usually see others as separate from us. And it tends to make us feel scared or apprehensive of others.

Well, what if we didn't see others as separate? What if we realised that despite the fact that everyone is different and unique from each other, we have that underlying connection that links us?

Now, what is this "underlying connection"?

I was asked today, "Is a heart 'alive' if you take it out and put it in warm salt solution? It still beats; still contracts; is it alive? We humans are considered 'alive', but is the heart 'alive' in the same way we are?"

Logically, I don't think so. A heart is mechanical, while humans like us have emotions, thoughts, and feelings. And maybe someone would say, those thoughts and feelings comes from chemicals in the brain. But if I built a brain and filled it with chemicals, would it be 'alive' like a human?

That is why I think at the base of it all, the 'underlying connection', is consciousness. We are conscious of our existence, and hence we have thoughts, emotions, and feelings. I do think that our organs, and bodies, and such are something like physical containers for the consciousness to express itself.

Hence it would be logical to say that we are all connected by this consciousness.

I wouldn't care if you disagreed with me. I just happen to think that this way of looking at and thinking of people and human relationships seems the most logical to me. I don't get annoyed as often anymore; not even when someone speaks harshly to me, or even disagree with me.

That's because I think the fact that everyone is different contributes to the complexity of this consciousness. If each human being were a container for consciousness to express itself, wouldn't it be more exciting to explore different representations of consciousness? Then humans interacting with other humans would be like consciousness interacting with different parts of itself.

Yes; even crappy parts, even nasty, disgusting, people. I kind of like to think that each purposely difficult or nasty person is either an example of the wrong way to go about life, or an example from which to learn a lesson. Maybe that's why we say 'learn from others' mistakes'. So if you happen to be intrigued by a nasty person, find out why. When a difficult person is interesting to me, logically, I ask myself what I'm trying to get out from this.

Even when they're not interesting, I try to observe them and wonder what makes them behave that way. But I guess the most important thing I've learnt is not to change people, but rather if you change your point of view, they kind of change to fit YOUR view.

Thought of today's blog: Ask yourself what it would be like if you felt linked to everyone. Yes, even those famous people you see in the movies. Relatives you don't like. Your friends, old and new. What will you actually feel? What can you actually learn?

And as logically as possible, I'm still finding out those answers for myself.

And no, Lina, I don't think I'd marry someone exactly like me. ;D

Living Life Logically--Day 3

2009-10-05T06:10:00.000-07:00

So this is what Shaun said about actor/actress obsession:

"I think that it's alright to be interested in their movies, but I wouldn't go as far as to dig up gossip or bother with their lives or anything. That's not nice, and it's too obssessed."

To which Jinn pointed out my obsession with Zachary Quinto, as of late. (It used to be Jonathan Rhys Myers)

Yups, this is Zachary Quinto.

And Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
So I got to thinking: why the hell am I obsessed with these people? Why specifically them? And doesn't this also happen in real life? Some people just strike you as more interesting than others. Some you feel an immediate attraction to. Some you don't.
I've found an answer that makes sense to me. It's written by Joe Goldfarb, check out his entry here:http://joegoldfarb.com/awareness/why-we-have-crushes
Basically, it goes back to the fact that we are all connected. Sound New-agey and confusing? Ok. Let's put it in a logical, physics-like method.
The Universe started from the Big Bang. Everything in the universe started from the Big Bang, a single point, infinitely dense, infinitely hot. All of us are part of that Big Bang.
So it's quite logical to say, we're all part of the same whole. We're the same, no matter how different our personalities are. It seems that different personalities are different sides of the same underlying connection.
The article states that as we are all connected, we see ourselves in other people. We see our personalities in them, and we like those points. So we develop, effectively, a crush, an obssession, an admiration.

So I bet you are wondering: What part of myself do I see in Zachary Quinto, huh? And Mr. Meyers, if we're all connected and all that?

My answer is: Well, they are both talented people. They can act. They are versatile. They play different roles. I mean,

I adored Zachary Quinto as Spock from Star Trek. (This is what began the obsession in the first place.)

And he plays Sylar in Heroes. (Never watched the series by the way.)
And now I find he does comedy too: http://theflickcast.com/2009/09/03/zachary-quintos-hostage-a-love-story/
Anyways, I won't spam anymore. The point is, I may not have acting skills, but I am envious of talent. I'm sure all of us would want to develop our talent, whatever that may be. Maybe these people are just like an example of how successful and famous we want to become.
Ok, so what other parts of myself do I see?
To be honest, mainly, it's the success. The skill. I would very much like to achieve that--success and skill.
We all tend to lose ourselves in the characters that actors play, because sometimes they do it so well we cannot distinguish between the personality of the character and the person. Quinto's Spock is a pretty good example.
But hey, I saw logic in Spock. I liked that very much--I liked the fact that you don't have to let your emotions take over, and that logic is useful. And in that, I saw a part of myself I wanted to improve--the logical side, the analytical side.
Good night. =)

Living Life Logically--Day 2

2009-10-04T06:39:00.000-07:00

Quickie blog, before I go to bed.

Today was fairly logical. Had violin class, and I just found out that my crappy bow holding was due to my fingers not properly attached to the bow.

Actually my teacher did point it out to me earlier, I was just too spazzed to notice it. Until now.

Had a good conversation with Julia today on MSN...introduced her to the idea of 10 dimensions and parallel universes...check it out for yourselves, it's pretty awesome stuff! Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjsgoXvnStY

I suggest you watch it a few times--it is quite confusing. But cool. It will change the way you look at reality.

Well, and I did watch Season 2 Episode 4 of Star Trek the Original Series today. The very first one, way back in the 1960s. Think I'm a legal Trekkie now...

Basically Kirk, Uhura, Bones and Scotty got transported into an alternate universe where people were evil and killed each other. The alternate Spock had a beard and I laughed so badly just seeing that. He still managed to be logical, though. (And less evil than everyone else.) Alternate Sulu was just...creepy.

Anyways I think that pretty much ties up with the idea of parallel universes in the Youtube video. Go watch Youtube.

Hoping that logic serves me well, and goodnight to all. =)

Living Life Logically--Day 1

2009-10-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up late, so I was mildly annoyed that I couldn't finish as many of those painful Powerpoint projects as I wanted to...but at least I finished my article for the college Ed. Board so it's ok.

Logic gives a new perspective on things. It made me want to do things, to write the article, even though I would have been content to be a lazyass. Cos, logically, when I'm done with whatever I needed to do I can then waste my time watching TV shows. Yeah.

I don't know--somehow I feel calmer already. When I lose something, I normally go crazy looking for it. But today I reasoned that I would just waste time and energy, so I'm just going to wait for the lost thing to turn up--it usually does. So overall, I think I'm less likely to explode randomly.

Lol, today was still kind of lazy and nothing much happened overall. Here's hoping for a more interesting day tomorrow.

Living Life Logically

2009-10-02T02:09:00.000-07:00

First off: I'm setting a new challenge and goal for myself. I'm going to live logically for 30 days. And I will blog about it everyday, so you guys can see what I'm up to. =)

Now, by logically, I mean rationally, without emotions getting too much in the way. I'm not going to be so logical that I kill all my emotions; rather I do not want emotions to affect me very strongly anymore. Because I'm prone to getting annoyed, disgusted and frustrated at small things. And I want to change that.

A certain guy called Steve Pavlina once wrote, "Observe the emotion, feel the emotion, but don't be the emotion." Or at least that's how I interpret the message. I think what he means is don't get too deeply involved in your emotions.

By being logical I hope to erase most of my irrational fears. For example, the phone started ringing at 5 am in the morning on Tuesday. No one was on the other end. I freaked out, but logically, the phone itself might have a glitch. Logic is a good way to calm things down a bit.

And I'll be logical in dealing with other people too, so I will watch what I say and do. I mean, it wouldn't be logical to piss my mum off after a lecture because I'll say something stupid. I'll try to think it over instead, maybe I did do something incredibly dumb. And if my mum was wrong in judging me, then I could talk to her nicely about it instead of blowing my top.

Well, tomorrow will be Day 1, I'll blog about it.

And no, I'm not doing this because I'm a die-hard Spock fan. Ok, maybe I am. But to tell the truth, I'm doing this because it will be fun to try a new perspective. ^_^

Durrrrrrrr.........

2009-08-08T07:24:00.000-07:00

I got a new printer! It big and shiny and prints colour too! Not only that the photocopying in colour is kickass! And I can scan my pics into it too.

I'm so happy.

But to set it up took quite a while...mainly cos i had to organise my room and move things around so the printer could actually fit onto my table -_-

I ended up throwing away a ton of stuff and recycling 500g of paper...

And I still have to do critical thinking skills homework...argumentative essay...urk. But it's ok, cos trying to agrue intelligently is cool. ^_^

And the teachers are having some bio and chem tests next week.

And...haih...I have to plow through this stuff.

On a side note, I watched about 20 mins of the very first episode of the Star Trek original series, out of pure curiousity. Of course, being born into this high-tech area meant that the old episodes looked kinda ah piang, but the series has a certain charm that the movie doens't.

Astrophysics

2009-07-12T02:48:00.000-07:00

Okay. Ready for nerd-geek-fest time.

I WANTED TO BE AN ASTROPHYSICIST WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.

As in, study about the sun, the moon, the solar system, the milky way, the nebulas, the Orion, the edge of the Universe. And all the fancy-schmancy physics and spacetime.

And possibly hop onto a rocket and live in space. And meet with aliens and stuff.

After a while, as I grew older, I forgot about that dream. I sunk into normal teenage life.

Then, I watched Star Trek 2009.

It immediately brought back all my childhood obsessions and dreams of flying in darkness and taking pics of Mars and aliens.

I so wanted to be part of a crew of a fancy ship like the USS Enterprise and work for intellectual gain and all that...plus not to mention get to press a lot of cool buttons.

Ah, Spock, Spock, Spock. Zachary Quinto as Mr. Spock definitely rekindled my belief in meeting aliens. SPOCK FANS, UNITE! But so far I only know that Amanda and Julia and me are part of the Spock fanbase that I know.

...And I'm considered a Star Trek n00b anyway 'cos I've never seen any other Star Trek episodes or movies besides the latest one.

I'm wondering if Chris Pine as Captain Kirk has any fanbase. Frankly, I don't know if anyone I know has this weird enthusiasm for space and universe like me...

Star Trek has definitely also rekindled my interest in science fiction. I just went to the bookshop to buy Dune by Frank Herbert. It's quite lengthy, but the back cover says its a masterpiece of science fiction of the 20th century, so I'm hoping for a really good read.

And I just found out one or two more Star Trek sequels are gonnaa be release. In 2011. Yay!

I'm such a geek. But a happy geek at least.

Now to find some rocket fuel for the spaceship.

Interesting Discussion. Please comment as much as you like!

2009-06-16T06:58:00.000-07:00

So. I aim to be a person of science.

However I've noticed this lately, and if you've been randomly surfing the net, you may have seen it too.

It's called the Law of Attraction.

This law says that: If you think about a certain thing hard enough and long enough, you'll be able to attract it to you. eg. If I think about a sucky day and actually feel bad about the day, my day WILL be sucky.

However it also says that if we maintain a positive outlook on life and think of positive events, we will be able to experience these positive events in life.

And apparently it uses the concept of visualisation, that is, forming a picture of what you want in your mind, and also feeling satisfied, content and happy when you think of it. If you keep this up, what you want will be attracted to you.

I'm trying to practice this right now, but keeping up this positive outlook seems to be a bit...exhausting. Maybe its my fault for starving myself of sleep lately (I was playing games all night for a while) but this Law of Attraction thing certainly takes quite some practice.

And sometimes (annoyingly) my brain crushes the idea of getting what I want by giving pictures of what I don't want.

However there is one thing that all of us have to realise, I think:

We are able to and certainly CAN change our life the way to the way we want it to be. By thinking appropriately, remaining positive and putting in some effort, we CAN achieve the life we want.

I'm realising this, however like I said it takes some practice to get used to.

There are some critics who dismiss this Law of Attraction and call it crap. Not to mention they are really sarcastic and cynical too. Ugh. Downright bitter sort of people. I think this is a wrong sort of mindset to dismiss something that you may not fully understand.

I may not be totally convinced by the Law of Attraction, but I am most certainly going to keep an open mind and practice it.

What about you guys, readers? Post your comments on this entry please. I'd like to see many responses.

what am i doing now? read on to find out. XD

2009-05-28T01:28:00.000-07:00

O-levels are over, so I'm spending my mornings (and some part of my afternoons) wroking at my mum's office to replace her clerk who has gone on maternity leave. It's ok work , not hard, but goddamn boring. I swear I'd kill myself if this were my permanent job.

I'll be going to Japanese classes later on tonight, hopefully I'll be able to speak the language soon...instead of shouting out random phrases like "Kawaii!" "Sugoi!" and "Itada-kimas!"

Anyways, here's the grand finale of the PIRATE STORY:

Using his command, the Captain was released from the rat-ball. Even if the rest had weapons, the rats converged so tightly that they couldn’t’ move their hands. Somewhere in the midst of grey bodies, Iki heard one of the girls scream.

If only he could fight his way through...the ball had him squinting painfully out of one eye. Teeth dredged his clothes, and he could swear the rodents were laughing evilly in his ears. His body was his only weapon.

Armed with that revelation, Iki bit into one of the rats scurrying near his mouth. He nearly retched from the vile taste, but he set his teeth to work. Soon the rats had cleared around him, and he was able to use brute force to crush anything in his way. He yelled out, “Use your teeth! Bite and injure the rats!”

Miere and Arla couldn’t believe it...again, but they gritted their teeth and exercised their mouths. The rats tasted of sewer-mud and abandoned food, but it worked. It was all clear to them now: they would have to use their bodies and whatever they had on them to survive. So they severed rat necks with the sharp heels of their shoes, and squashed slimy bodies, propelled by the rage of repulsion. Tails were sliced off with a well-planted step. Brain matter of the rats spilled like last night’s jelly gone bad.

With the five of them exterminating, the danger was soon over. As Captain Seth watched his rodent empire crumble to bits, his lamp-eyes dimming, the girls exited the inn in elation, Iki, Mik and Darien sprinting in their wake.

The rats had left them looking like fresh corpses; their clothes nibbled full of holes, hair flying like broken open fans, and numerous mini dents on their limbs. Still they sprinted over battered wood, soft sand and azure waters, and finally reached the ship. Iki jerked the anchor up hurriedly, anxious to get away from the demented Captain.

Mire and Arla expressed their gratitude profusely. They scaled the prow of the shop and perched there, tasting some sweetness in the usually bland wind and riding over deep waters where their dreams and hopes lay reborn in chipped clam-shells.

They were going to open a restaurant. No—a chain, all over the world. They were going to leave their footprints wherever they stepped—no—stomped.

***

Captain Seth untied Henny, all the while noting the damage with a bloodshot roving eye. He felt nothing inside—his hear was still intact but someone had gutted him and burned him with his own gastric acid.

The inn was in shambles. The windowpanes had been broken, crying glass tears. The bomb-hole with planks splayed around it looked like a bad hernia. The ceiling was in danger of shattering altogether. The rat carcasses decorated the place like grotesque ornaments. The few that had lived had turned cannibalistic and were preying on their dead friends.

Henny’s voice broke the veil of destruction like a quick knife to the mind. “You really loved them, didn’t you? Like your own daughters?”

The Captain managed a crooked smile. “I didn’t want them in the kitchen. I knew they would try to get ideas and dash off somewhere to start a business,” he said.

“Whatever you resist persists.” It was true. He loved those girls to a fault. They provided him the chance to actually feel responsible for someone’s life. He didn’t want them to go. So he developed the random suspicious behaviour. This convinced them all the more that they had to go.

“I guess I lack that power—that power to keep someone close to me,” the Captain mused. Maybe he had lost it to that blood-smell, a long time ago, when he sold his soul to a dark sea with an expectant future.

“I’ve only got the inn and you, Henny.”

The sun spread like radiant egg yolk in the sky.

American Idol

2009-05-21T07:20:00.000-07:00

So. I've just watched the finale of American Idol with family.

Had a blast listening to old songs.

Kris Allen won! I think maybe Adam Lambert was better for the position of No.1.

But it's ok anyway...he's got a lot of fans already.

Kris is really likeable, not surprised actually if he won. Go Kris!

I think Adam will release a rock album, maybe.

I think I'm inspired to sing now. Kris sings well low; Adam screams, but nicely!

Mah Pirate Storrraaaaayyy!

2009-04-16T07:41:00.000-07:00

First of all let me say this: Jonathan Rhys Meyers is like the male version of Angelina Jolie.

Reason being: The lips, people, the really pouty lips!

And also: I saw this pic of Mr. Meyers in one of his earlier movies, donno what movie it was, but he was so pale and feminine, and I swear it looked like he had lipstick on. Like a vampire. Yeah, a better vampire than Mr.Robert Pattinson from the Twilight movie!

Take that, you Twilight fans! (Sorry sorry, don't start hitting me.)

I've got the next part of the PIRATE STORY up:

Suddenly she heard Arla’s cries of protest. Captain Seth had already tied her hands so hard with the rope that it had chafed them. She swung around and released the stone right into his eye. He howled in pain, hopping around agitatedly. Arla cut her rope bonds, but the Captain’s wild flailing with his dagger in hand had resulted in a number of gashes on her legs.

Suddenly a loud explosion resounded as a section of the wall blew apart, leaving a good-sized hole as an escape. Miere could detect Iki’s look of disbelief mixed with personal triumph. More importantly, she noticed the compact grenade bomb he had hurled at the wall. She breathed a silent prayer of thanks.

Captain Seth was alerted. He scrambled over to the broken wall and pulled open a trap door in the floor.

A colony of rats skittered out.

Arla’s mouth fell open in surprise. This escape was being delayed by the most uncanny of forces.

The rats started piling up near the hole, all struggling to rush out. Due to their large numbers, they soon stopper-ed the hole. Only Iki managed to squirm through. Mik and Darien were left standing outside, trying to figure out an effective way to get rid of the rats. They had already used up their one and only grenade.

Having come from a rather pampering family, the girls felt squeamish at the sight of the swarming furry bodies growing rapidly like a proliferating fungus. Nevertheless they decided to try plunging through. It was easier than trying to knock out a 90-kilo sack of fat.

However that was not easy. The rats stank of dank cellars, waste and rust. Not only that, they were positively giant, with pointed teeth that bit the girls’ shoulders and searched for every trace of flesh to sink into. No matter how hard they struggled, the sea of rats was dense, and seemed endless and impenetrable.

With some difficulty they extricated themselves, only to find Iki duelling with the Captain using a broomstick handle. His skills were quite good, and he was able to ward off most of the attacks.

Seeing the ringleader in trouble, the grunts thundered over and formed a tight circle around the girls unawares. Using brute force, they disarmed them. Miere and Arla were thus caught in a trap of sweaty, pulsating pink flesh.

“Not so fast, eh!” one of them said, and snickered.

Miere and Arla were defenceless, armed with only their wits. Panic started to erode their senses. How were they supposed to escape? Distantly, they could hear Iki’s spirited fronts as he pitted himself against Captain Seth.

The grunts closed in, attempting to constrict the girls with their bodies. The sweaty stench was suffocating. The girls’ only resources were their bodies, which were no match for the grunts’.

Wait! Suddenly Miere realised that she would have to use the strongest and sharpest part of her body. She swung her elbows backward with force, managing to partially knock the wind out of one of her captors.

Arla caught on quickly, and using her knees, struck at angles into the grunt’s hip repeatedly. He keeled over from the surprise and sudden pain. They kicked the third one up his legs. Instant shock.

While the girls carried on the fight inside, Darien and Mik noticed that the guard had left their post and burst in through the door. Mik instantly ran to make sure that the horizontally expanded ones were properly down. He aimed a few kicks and punches as a test. Darien, swift and silent, attempted to restrain the Captain.

All this extra pressure had Captain Seth going berserk. He yelled, no; tittered, letting out a strange series of squeaks that were unnaturally high for his voice. The rats’ ears started to perk up.

Then they ran across the floor and engulfed everyone. Even the out-of-action grunts. They were all trapped in the hot sticky fur, barely able to move. This did not improve Captain Seth’s image. He had gone from psycho to psycho rat-master. Nevertheless it worked. He had captured Miere and Arla at last.

TO BE CONTINUED...DUM DUM DUM!

I Should Have Been Born in the 16th Century

2009-04-14T02:42:00.000-07:00

In between yearbook, practicing maths and burying my nose in the other subject books, I've been entertaining my newest unhealthy obsessions: Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Scarlett Johansson (Did I spell it right?)

The thing I like about Scarlett Johansson is her...eyebrows!

Seriously, I like them. They look really...scuplted! Plus I thought she was really hot as Mary Boleyn in "The Other Boleyn Girl" movie. And I just found out she has a twin brother. I'm quite outdated actually...

Plus I did watch "Vicky Cristina Barcelona", another movie of hers. It was...refreshing. Good movie.

Oh, oh, and Jonathan Rhys Meyers! I like his look; its really interesting. Just watched episode 1 of "The Tudors", the new series about King Henry the VIII and his six wives. Besides the six wives there were a lotta mistresses on the side as well. Jonathan Meyers was acting as King Henry, and I found it weird cos my impression of King Henry is this fat guy who shouts randomly. And Jonathan Meyers sure ain't fat.

And, six wives just isn't enough for one guy is it?

Oh well, I like sixteenth-century movies...wouldn't be surprised if I was some English person in the 16th century in my past life.

PS: I just discovered this movie, "Match Point" starring both Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Scarlett Johannson. It's a bit old (released in 2005), but given my new unhealthy obsessions, I have to watch it now.

Now that I've taken up some cyberspace ranting about this, I can go back to yearbook, practicing maths and burying my nose in the other subject books.

A pirate story continued and love for sulky japanese boys.

2009-03-03T04:32:00.001-08:00

After being reminded of Kafka on the Shore, the book by Haruki Murakami, I find myself looking back at it with much interest. I would like to buy the book and read it over again. (The first time I read it I borrowed it) It's the type of book people can't understand in one go; they have to read and reread. Yes. I shall go out and buy the book.

I particularly liked Kafka's sulkiness, rebellious-ness and helplessness all bundled in one. He is one sulky Japanese dude. Oshima in that story was also wonderful. ^_^

Anyways, on to the pirate story:

They couldn’t stay here anymore.

Miere and Arla had decided that. They had also decided that they were going to join Iki and gang and explore the vast expanses of land and sea.

It was late one night, when the darkness dipped to its dimmest point that they decided to quietly leave the inn.

They came into the inn with nothing, and would take nothing with them.

“Going somewhere?” a voice issued from the darkness, sending the girls jumping like a pair of flopping fish dying of dehydration.

The only thought that crossed their minds was, “How did he know?”

The reply came, as if Seth possessed telekinetic powers. “I don’t have my office above the servants’ quarters for nothing, you know.”

There was a moment of stunned silence, as if time had collapsed.

“RUN!” Miere screamed. Arla flew behind her.

In response, Captain Seth yelled, “Out, men!” At that moment three corpulent roughnecks stepped out, previously hidden by the darkness. Before the sisters could make their getaway, they sealed the tree exits: the front door, back door and the windows. The one blocking the windows was so huge that he covered the entire area with his bulk.

Miere hurled herself at the one blocking the door, but his expanded belly was like a giant rubber ball. She bounced back, skidding along the floor. The enormous man let out a grating laugh.

Captain Seth’s grey-green eyes slid along their faces which were now frozen in shock.

Now the question seemed to be: “Where’d you find these guys?”

“I’ve got surprises,” Captain Seth said, grinning. How did he know their questions?

Now the Captain held a length of tough rope between his hands, the prosthetic steel digits standing out in the light of the yellow bulb that had just been switched on. “Light-footed girls like you...” he began.

“...should be tied up!” He pursued them with uncharacteristic speed, his metal leg hitting the floor repeatedly, and sounding like the beating of a war-drum. Startled, Miere and Arla dashed into the only opening available—the kitchen doors. It proved to be not a very smart thing to do—the kitchen was a cul-de-sac, with an entrance but no exit.

The Captain burst in, usual cool demeanour overtaken by a blast of fury. The muscles in this face were pulled into wrinkles, and the candles in his eyes flashed brighter than before. The rope between his hands was stretched taut.

Miere and Arla backed away slowly, inching nearer to the wall. They could smell the lingering odours of the day’s remnants, especially the way smell of burnt lard. It was funny how insignificant details stuck to your mind when you didn’t need them.

Arla’s elbow hit something. Instinctively she groped for the light switch. Another dim bulb flickered on. She saw what she’d knocked over—a set of knives, blades shiny-sharp from rubbing against the grinding stone. She snatched up one with a serrated edge, and brandished it in front of the Captain’s face. Miere followed suit.

Captain Seth allowed a small chuckle to break his livid mask. “Kitchen knives!” he exclaimed. “I’ve got better!” after saying this, he produced a slim, small dagger that dangled from his hand like a lethal extension. The story of his pirate days came flooding back to Arla. Of course he had been good with knives.

Miere swung her knife, meaning to graze the Captain’s shoulder, but of course she was no match. A swift parry quelled her attempt. She didn’t want to hurt the Captain; just hit him so that it would create a diversion. Obviously this was going to be harder than she thought.
Henny came running out at present. Her face turned white. She thrust herself at the Captain.

“No, Captain!” she cried.

“Stay out of this!” Captain Seth blared. Henny retreated, and was almost immediately seized and tied up by the fat grunt by the window.

Miere tried again, twirling the knife and sending it whistling through the air. Captain Seth expertly blocked every one of her slashes. The most she achieved was a scratch on his right hand. She was beginning to become frustrated, and sweat beaded on his brow.

Then Arla swing a heavy pan at his midriff. The Captain doubled over, breath drawn out sharply by the impact. Still gripping the knives, Miere and Arla dashed out to confront the grunts still by the exits.

However these grunts were also armed—with giant slingshots. Stones ranging from small pebbles to larger ones roughly the size of fists were used. The girls knew better than to laugh—cruising at high velocity, those stones could hack someone’s head off.

The grunts launched a volley of flying stones, and the inn looked like a sky peppered with heavy stars. Not nimble enough to dodge every single one, Miere and Arla sustained various bruises and cuts. Soon the hailing became unbearable, and Arla flung the knife at one of the slingshots, it hit home, fortunately, and fell out of the grunt’s hand. Miere darted to pick it up.

One down, two to go. Arla readied her knife, while Miere picked up stray stones and loaded them back into the newly acquired slingshot. She knew that she had to use clever strategy, so she decided to aim for the eyes, even though her targeting was not very accurate.

Pirates Are Hot and You Can't Deny It

2009-02-02T06:17:00.000-08:00

Today...I went to Julia's house so that she, Jinn and I could study Chem and Physics. Myeh...however we ended up talking and listening to stuff like Macy Gray and Panic! at the Disco. And Bill from Tokio Hotel sounds like a WOMAN! meh, he looks like one too.

Anyways here is the next instalment of The Pirate Story:

The days were carefree at the Cutlass Inn. Miere and Arla never had to feel lonely, for they had various customers to entertain, and more importantly, Henny and each other. Even though there were always floors to be mopped and dishes to spread, it was enjoyable work.

However Captain Seth’s restrictions proved to be bothersome. He himself seemed like a man with no feeling, pacing up and down the corridors and barking brusque orders at everyone he saw. He was the strange presence in the otherwise tranquil seaside stop. Miere and Arla couldn’t understand him. They knew he had a room upstairs which served as a study cum bedroom, but what did he do in there? There were times when he hardly used the room, and also times when he would barricade himself in and not come out until closing time.

Once Arla posed Henny this question when she was ordered to send up a meal to him, but Henny shrugged and muttered something which sounded like “Doing accounts.”They had only entered the room once, and then only upon the Captain’s request. It was almost as stark and scrubbed as its owner, the walls plain and whitewashed, with green lichen licking them. The floor was composed of rough floorboards. The decor consisted of a simple bookshelf, a table and chair, and a bed.

Captain Seth had turned around and fixed a stony stare on them. “You know I was a captain once,” he began. “A pirate captain who roamed the seas.”

Affirmative nod. The girls had heard all about it from Henny.

“So I’ll tell you my experience. It was the first time I’d been on it. The sea was quiet and the harsh sun shone on us. The ship hoisted its sails and rode away on the wind.

“I was on deck duty—scrubbing and cleaning it. The ship cut cleanly through the waters. Our captain, Sherwood, had a score to settle. We set off in pursuit of the Iron Maid, Our target ship.

“There was a twist in the atmosphere after half an hour of sailing. I knew that the Iron Maid was near. A dark mist descended over the waters. The maroon flag loomed before us.; The ships halted, prow to prow.

“Then all hell broke loose.

“The crew members went berserk. We launched ourselves onto the other ship and started knocking each other off. Cutlasses flashed ad swords bit into skin. I only possessed a small dagger, so I avoided the heated attacks up front. Instead I slunk along and attacked the opposing deck-swabbers.

“Having practiced with my weapon, I wasn’t too bad, but I couldn’t avoid the slashes to my face. My adversaries were deft, and I was partly lucky that I could parry their attacks. This sense of manic loyalty to Sherwood kept me slashing their throats.

“However in the mist something else emerged. It was the smell of blood, fetid. Like a snake, it ensnared the whole boat. And strangely, I like it. It was like a powerful engine injecting energy into me. I inhaled and lived on it at that moment. My brain was resisting but I was dying away. That smell was deluding me, making me think that I needed it. It was like I was the smell.“The blood came in different shades—black, red, brown, maroon—and it swirled around us like a swollen river. And living on that smell alone I hacked my way to my own minor victory. The bodies piled around me like dead houseflies.”

Here he stopped, and looked at the girls.

“Aren’t you scared to be here, in this room, with a man who loves blood?”

“No,” Miere spoke for both of them.

“Really?” Arla caught the slightest ghost of a smile.

They were then sent off. There was nothing particularly strange about the captain’s tale, but the way he told it was scary. His eyes had acquired the glow of a distant land and his tone fluctuated with passionate intonation. He had stepped out of his mould, but even so, this change was so disconcertingly familiar.

They passed a widely-arched window. Then it hit them.

The sea. The captain had become like the sea, voice accommodating, drawing them closer, his words like waves to sweep you off your feet. He had grown distant, like the sea receding because of the moon’s gravity pull. He had grown until he was too big and fragmented to come back.It was then Miere and Arla realised that they couldn’t live with the sea anymore. It would always be there, calmly roiling; incarnating into the captain to mock them. They hated the hollow feeling the sea gave them. It promised the excitement of unexpected lands beyond boundaries but at the same time, Captain Seth took it back from them. The sea stealing from the sea. This feeling was growing into the direction of fear.

And I am happy because if I do well in whatever I am supposed to do, I may go to Japan. ^_^
私は幸せである。

Comic Fiesta 2008!

2008-12-21T01:53:00.000-08:00

My poster with Luffy's abs. XD

Awesome costumes.

Naruto!

Dog, Luffy, Anime Schoolgirl and Grandma. XD

My sis the anime schoolgirl.

Whoo! Today I went to Comic Fiesta, a comic convention, with my sister and Julia and Amanda. It was cool. There were so many people cosplaying--means dressing up--as characters from anime shows...some of the costumes were so extreme! I wish I'd taken more pics, but I was too busy holding all the stuff...-_- I cosplayed as Luffy from One Piece, but the female version. Yosh. One guy actually came up to me and said: "So you're the female Luffy. Cool!" I felt so proud. XD There were a couple of guy Luffys too, but I think I was the only female one. ^^

Anyways there were these dudes wearing miniskirts and girly jackets, and they were GUYS. With lace stockings and leather boots. Wow. Drag Queen. And also sailormoon group, and people in maid outfits and samurais with giant swords. so many people were selling things, so I bought some comics and posters. The costumes are so...well-prepared. I think next year I'll rent a space so I can sell some stuff and make money. $_$ ^_^

Ablablablabla.

2008-12-03T22:10:00.001-08:00

Dear People Who Are Kind Enough to Read My Blog,

Hi. I'm having a nice time at home soaking up all the Grey's Anatomy's episodes. Damn. I cannot believe I watched 6 45-minute epidsodes in a whole afternoon. Meredith Grey reminds me of Jennifer Aniston. Dr. Derek McDreamy Shepard looks like Mr. Murali to me. Please don't ask me why, he just does. Personally I like Cristina cos she's got attitude. Sarcastic too...

Well, the point is I'm so addicted to it right now. Just dying to watch the 3rd, 4th and 5th seasons... I mean, pregnant guy, bomb in patient's chest, fork in neck, brain surgery....how do the producers of the show think of such things?

Besides that I'm going to vist my cousin in Australia tomorrow....can't wait, haven't seen them in a while. Well, quite a long while. If I can get any pics I'll put it up here.

Peace, people. Enjoy your holidays. =P

Ahhhhhhh......

2008-11-21T02:11:00.000-08:00

Well, I've only got AO maths paper 2 and malay to go so life is good right now. And i'm gonna post another part of the pirate story.

and i want to say: if i were a guy, i want to be tall and moderately good looking so i can enjoy the feeling of having girls crowd around me. XD

Pirate story:
“Miere. Arla.”
The sisters froze in mid-step, slowly searching for the source of that dull voice. They saw Seth standing a little way behind them, face as expressionless as ever, neither smile nor scowl adorning the straight line of a mouth.
“Good evening, Captain,” the girls said, curtseying.
“Good evening. I will ask: How are you girls here?”
“F-fine.”
“Good. There is no reason to dislike this place, is there?”
“N-no...”
“Very well.” With that fragment, he turned away, taciturn as ever. Miere and Arla watched his stiff gait as he ambled away.
***
Iki laughed a careless laugh that bounced off the girls’ faces into the sky.
“You can’t cook?” he asked incredulously. “And you work in a restaurant?”
“Don’t laugh! I’m serious,” Miere pressed, trying not to laugh as well.
“How can you stand it?” Not knowing how the food you serve is prepared?” Mik interjected.
“Our point exactly,” Arla replied.
“You have to learn how to cook. It’s essential for survival. Well, a more comfortable survival,” Darien’s low voice cut in.
“All right! We got it already!” Miere cried in frustration. “If you’re so good, teach us!”
“Fine,” said Iki, and darted off into the bowels of his ship only to return with a small wok and a cylinder with a tripod-like structure attached.
“My lovely portable gas cooker,” Iki said, lighting a match in the presence of the gas. Flames appear. Balancing the wok on the tripod stand, he poured a swirl of oil. Soon the little pool of oil let off a fiery sizzle.
At this point Mik passes some chopped onions and garlic to Iki. The familiar fragrance permeated the air. Iki nimbly hopped over to the ship and retrieved a net full of mussels, grey-green shells reflecting the glaring sunlight. He produced a spatula and tossed the spices, before throwing in the mussels and adding a splash of seawater.
The mussel shells sprang open, shrivelled flesh absorbed the seawater, becoming plump. After some more tossing, Iki handed the girls a mussel each. They were full of flavour, and salty juices oozed from them.
“That’s it?” Arla asked. “So simple?”
‘Pretty much.” Iki shrugged. “But this is just stir-fry. We don’t really boil things, but that’s easy too. Just put food in a pot with water, cover it, and leave it for a while.”
Miere and Arla still couldn’t believe how easy it was. Cooking demystified. It had before seemed a nearly magical act, but now it all boiled down to simple skill. Why wouldn’t Captain Seth let them touch the stove then?

Part 3 of the pirate story.

2008-10-31T09:04:00.000-07:00

Well, for Halloween I went to a dinner thing hosted by Carmen. We ate and then...took pictures and laughed at each other. Yeah. Random things. So afterwards 95% of the ppl migrated to KLCC to walk and things. I didn't follow cos my dad would skin me alive and think that I'm crazy. Though I understand he just doesn't want me to walk around at night. And he thinks the guys I hang out with are weird...wait, in fact he thinks all my friends are weird. Anyways I'm glad he's so nice and letting me go out without worrying so much anymore.

Here's part 3 of the pirate story:

Captain Seth had this strange stipulation in his contract—Miere and Arla were, by all means, expressly forbidden to even step over the kitchen threshold. They couldn’t understand why. They served the food, but had no idea about how raw ingredients were transformed into piping hot dishes.
Sure, they had seen their aunt cook before, but they had not been very interested. Now, however, the huge kitchen of the Cutlass Inn evoked strange feelings of leeching curiosity. The entrance to it was inconspicuous, a wooden door that looked like a part of the wall. The food was passed to the servers through a small window with a rickety countertop.
Miere and Arla felt a twinge of envy seeing all the other waiters streaming in and out of the kitchen, but Captain Seth was a formidable force to be reckoned with. When he had sailed the seas, he had the reputation of a powerful plunderer, pillaging and hacking his way to amassed fortunes of gold and jewels. This fortune had not come without some bloodshed and rolling heads. At least that was what Henny had sombrely narrated.
So they stayed away, only sneaking occasional glimpses into that elusive room as the servers opened and shut the doors. Miere gazed in awe at the groaning machines: a mass of grey and black, with purring boilers, snarling stoves and dead-cold iceboxes. Arla caught the pneumatic hisses, mechanical grinding and blunt snap of gas-gun-starters. The kitchen looked all the more mysterious as it was continuously wrapped in a cloak of dense white smoke, like fallen clouds of a summer’s day. The hardened faces of the chefs were only visible as fleeting circles of brown and white as the smoke made allowance.
What got to them most was the aroma. Everything smelled better when cooked, even garlic. Once it had browned in oil, the pungent smell was converted to a crisp fragrance, accentuated further if onions and mushrooms were thrown in. Meat sizzled; oil seeped in, and its smell was brought on a charred wind. Vegetables had a faint freshness as they turned limp and bright green in the wok.
Once, Arla had tried to sneak in, but halted when she saw the Captain looming over her, lamp-eyes fuelled by annoyance. Hastily she backed away, lips forming a silent apology. He just stared, like a stone sentinel.
***
Despite all that, the girls were allowed some freedom outside the inn. On slow days they were permitted to take walks on the beach bordering the inn, with the sea beyond it, crouching like another world.
Neither of them could swim very well, and when they stared out at the blue expanse, surface undulating unto the horizon, a feeling of inadequacy overtook them. It wasn’t just a normal feeling. It was the feeling that only their eyes remained as a point of view as their bodies disintegrated into sand. Their minds could not even begin to fathom the depth beneath the crystalline veneer, or the living things that lurked there. The sea emptied them, stripped them of sentience, and swallowed them whole. Their minds grew out of their bodies and floated off into the sky where seagulls ate their thoughts.
This was why the duo paid particular attention to the ships and boats moored at the port-warehouse, where their cargo was stored. It was a pleasant diversion from the mesmerising sea.
Many types of vessels would dock, form the ancient, barnacle-encrusted barges to the small boats used for recreational fishing. The whole area was as complicated as a construction site, planks leading to ships or lying about haphazardly. Pieces of rope were scattered like intestines. Debris skittered on the sand, which was dyed a dirty brown form oil spillage.
Most of the people who alighted in these shores were burly, dark-skinned labourers who moved the cargo into the warehouses. Sometimes Miere and Arla would get lucky and spot a hidden foreign dignitary, or even a glimpse of a different race they never knew existed. The most spectacular so far was the princess swathed in saffron and fuchsia silks with gold bangles ringing like melodious mini tambourines.
The beach was where they met Iki. As far as they could tell her seemed human, but his skin had a strange bluish tinge and his ears were slightly pointed. When they asked him about it, he just flashed an enigmatic smile and hung his head like a dog in the rain.
Iki had a ship, not very big but comfortable enough for about five or six people. His only companions were Darien and Mik. Darien resembled Captain Seth, in the sense that he mostly kept to himself and answered things in a curt manner; Mik was more carefree, full of failing jokes and lame one-liners. Both were of the same race as Iki, though Darien had a dark purplish hue to his skin, a sort of insignia for inner darkness perhaps.
Iki explained that the three of them were suffering from permanent wanderlust. Their aim was to wander aimlessly, seeing the whole world as it really was. It was a picaresque journey into their souls. Or maybe they just had too much time on their hands, Mik joked.
The three of them had decided to stay on this piece of land for a while. To this, Miere and Arla realised that Iki might own a map. Upon request Iki produced one, a yellowed sheet of paper showing spidery ink sketches. He gestured somewhere down south, to a small piece of land connected to a larger one.
Arla’s eyes traced the map, following its contours until she saw an island to the east. That was it! That was their old home, Akiba. They had followed Nature’s twisted fingers and arrived at Syraz, and this town, Karsal. Funny.
Then Iki asked about their lives—were they locals? To which the girls slowly unravelled their story, through many conversations. A friendship developed gradually, the three foreigners regaling the stranded sisters with stories of their nautical adventures.
And all the while, Captain Seth watched from his window, like a sniper who had lost his gun.

A continuation...

2008-10-29T07:43:00.000-07:00

Here's the following part to the story about pirates:

Miere and Arla were assigned to Henny’s care. She became an important, if slightly distant, mother figure. She taught them the inn’s layout and the fastest route from this table to so-and-so destination and from that table to the current one. They were forced to balance many plates of food at once, moving through the crowd, fearful that their precarious stack of kitchenware would topple, and grace them with fine porcelain rain. Even though there were breakages, Miere and Arla soon learnt the principle of restaurant gravity and adapted to the situation. Soon they were passing dishes between tables like a pair of acrobats.
They proved to be popular. After all, they were girls of teenage age, at the peak of growth and enthusiasm, full of confident chatter. Not to mention that the way they wore their tousled hair in a bun and the taut, sinewy legs under the short waitresses’ dresses added to their appeal. It was a typical restaurant trick—pretty servers.
Not to say that they were vapid beings. Both girls possessed a good degree of education and intelligence, and they picked up the local slang quickly. They loved engaging in challenging banter with some of the more erudite customers, often tossing in a wink or smile for added effect. For the simpler roughneck drinkers, a wink and smile was often enough.
Henny also often purchased books, which the girls devoured with fervent ardour, even if some were cookbooks. From the solid lady herself they learnt finer craft such as stitching and embroidering.
There were of course the unwelcome attentions of male patrons foisted on Miere and Arla, but a sharp word was often enough to silence them. Sometimes Seth would intervene and insert an effective threat when things got bad.
However they were never allowed to go to the kitchen.

Yes I know it's a bit weird, but then what can you expect from me?

He died.

2008-10-28T05:07:00.000-07:00

Dear readers,

Max, the family's 15-year-old Labrador Retriever, died this afternoon. The vet came this afternnon and gave him a shot of pink liquid. Within minutes his tongue lost all colour and his eyelids started descending. Then he drew two shaky breaths and was gone. Snap. Just like that. This is euthanasia. Mercy killing.

My mum sounded a bit choked up. Then I sounded a bit choked up. Then we all sounded a bit choked up. I mean, seconds ago he was there, and then he went. Oh well, we were offered two choices: either treat him or kill him. We decided there was no point in treating because the poor dog was too old and probably couldn't take the treatment. He was also suffering from arthritis and couldn't walk properly before. So we let him go.

Rest in peace, Max. You lovable fat dog.

Open houses everywhere...

2008-10-26T06:30:00.000-07:00

Well, thanks to the nice amount of Malay and Indian friends that my parents have, I end up being dragged to all the open houses this holdiay. Not that I'm complaining, cos the food is nice, and I get money on top of it all. Hah. XD

Am practicing for Founder's Day on Wednesday. We're the first on the list. Aiyak. Hope we make a good impression.

Max seems to be better. He's not dying, but he's just lying in his cage and can stand up now. Phew...

Here's a part of a story that I wrote. It's about pirates.

There was that faint whistling sound emanating from the creaky boards in the wall again. The sound of a fast wind tearing through many holes. A wind that no doubt heralded rain. Buckets were pushed along the grimy floors, in order to catch the inevitable rain that would come weeping through the holes.
The air smelled different suddenly. It tasted of forgotten sea-salt and was humid and viscous. A knife, a rip—and the torrential rain spiralled down in fury.
Nevertheless the patron of the Cutlass Inn were promised hot food and some satisfactory, if a little weather-beaten, shelter. Captain Seth ran a tight ship. Or rather, ex-Captain, after he was forced into retirement due to the loss of his left arm and leg to a rogue shark. But the ship was still tight. Orders were barked, and duly followed as swarms of waiters and waitresses and cooks and cleaners elbowed and skated their way through.
This was probably the reason why he didn’t notice the two limp figures scrabbling at the door.
When he did catch a hint of the sound,. Though, they were almost half-dead, limbs turgid and swollen from diffusing water, hair like limp seaweed curtains, and clothes dyed into unrecognisable colours by the mud.
Captain Seth did the only thing he could do. He screamed.
“HENNY!”
A matronly woman rushed up, sharp eyes taking a quick account of the strangers. She was rather ponderous, but her deftness made up for it. She promptly hauled them across the inn, draped over her shoulder. A small grunt ensued.
Henny took the strangers to the small servant’s quarters behind. She moved them to the front of a small fire which radiated substantial heat. She bit her lip. Hmm. Two girls, with the same face shape but different hair and lips. Sisters, probably, There couldn’t have been more than three years in their age difference. One had coal-black hair and paler skin; the other had more of a chestnut mane, and was toffee-coloured. She noticed a shuddering heaving of their chests: proof that they were still alive.
Working quickly, she towelled them dry, and soon their eyelids began to flutter open. The pale one woke first. Henny shovelled a spoonful of purple medicine into her mouth, and forced it down with a mug of herbal tea.
The girl spluttered, cheeks glowing red. When she had settled down, she scrutinized this thickset woman quizzically, noting her heavy jowls and long jaw, her straight stern brow and angular eyes and nose which must have once been objects of beauty.
“Who are you?” she asked at last. Her voice sounded detached, like it was trapped in a hovering bubble.
“Henrietta, but the common handle’s Henny. And you are?”
The girl paused. She was slowly sweeping up the fragments of memory scattered in her brain. She recalled a ship. Then the growling sky. Its black countenance. The waves which had swayed in ominous reply. The battering of water on wood. The crack. And the water was like a savage creature. Swimming. Flailing.
And now here. Henny was administering the same medicine to the other girl. She was efficient.
“Miere.” The answer came.
“A strange name. Not from around here. And this here lass?” Henny inquired further.
“Arla.”
“Sisters?”
Small nod. Miere wondered where they were now. She and Arla had been travelling towards Corinth, the mythical island that bore the strange Joba tree, along with their uncle. They had been excited to investigate the tree, which was rumoured to have weather-controlling powers. In lieu of the previous storm, she considered this ironic.
Where were they now? In a slightly worn-down establishment in the company of a brusque lady. Judging from the inordinate amount of noise, she guessed that they were in a restaurant of some sort. A bemused Arla was flitting about, eyes jumpy.
Just then a shadow enveloped them. Looking up, the girls saw a man, straight-backed, of impressive height. The first thing they noticed was his apparent lack of left-side appendages. His left leg was replaced by a rod of harsh steel, and his left arm was a mass of intricate metal gears fused together. Both gave off a sharp glint in the light.
“Hello...hello...hello...” he intoned, his voice a low bass hum. Miere and Arla sensed his eyes searching them, like orange lamps in a fog. His lips curled into a thin smile. Despite their dishevelled appearance, theses girls were quite pretty. Especially the black-haired one. The other one looked lively too. Excellent.
“Well, since you two have obviously been shipwrecked, you might as well stay here,” he offered, voice like a rusty knife. “Permanently.”
Miere and Arla figured they had nothing to lose. Better to have their basic needs taken care of rather than rot in a foreign place.
“Alright.” They agreed simultaneously.
“Wonderful,” Seth grinned, displaying a set of unnaturally white teeth.

To be continued...dun dun dun!

Noooo! Max!

2008-10-23T02:56:00.000-07:00

Well anyways came home today and had violin class. Teacher says I'm too tense with my bow, that's why my playing sounds weird at times. Tomorrow I only have malay assessment so that's all well and good.

Then my sister comes rushing up and tells me that the family black Labrador, Max, has been sick and lethargic since morning. He won't move, won't go for walks, won't eat. Then I hear the dog barking like crazy. He's lying pathetically outside, and his breathing seems difficult.

I think, I think, he's gonna go. Quite soon. Oh well. Not to say I am particularly sad; he is quite old after all so that'll put him out of his misery...I think he's almost 12 or 13 years old...really old dog.