Some Things I Learnt After Talking To People.

OMG, like hi, readerrsssss!

Pardon the beginning. I believe we should keep things interesting. So. Helllooo!

Anyways when I was young I hardly talked to people. Wasn't the most sociable Asian bugger you'd meet. Heck, not the most sociable bugger you'd meet.

But that's changed now. I'm still not wildly and fanatically popular, but people actually smile at me now when I walk down corridors. And we know each other's names. =D

But anyways, here are some valuable things I learnt in Social Skills 101, that apply to anyone in any conversation.

1. If the bugger is not interested in what you are saying, SHUSH.

I learnt this the hard way. You know, me being a sci-fi chick and all, I try to talk about rockets, space guns, Star Wars, robots, pointy-eared men aboard huge ass spaceships, more robots, things like that.

But if the girl/guy you are talking to is really not interested, don't continue talking. Even though it gets you hyped up. Even though you feel that you are gonna burst into a nice bout of verbal diarrhoea.

Because people don't like verbal diarrhoea.

The only thing people hate more than verbal diarrhoea is actual diarrhoea.

So bowels aside, if the bugger doesn't give a hoot about robots, he/she isn't going to be hooty about it no matter how hard you try. If you still keep on trying, here is how the convo would be like:

Youlin: Hey, I thought that movie was pretty spiffy. You know, guy stuck on moon, with only a computer for company, going crazy...

Sister: OMG, I like so totally dig that new Maria Sharapova perfume! It's like bathing in her sweat!

Youlin: The poor astronaut though, he couldn't contact his family, and he was just a tool of the corporation...

Sister: And you know what? It's only RM 158! Imagine spritzing on some Sharapova sweat everyday! Mmm. Fresh fresh fresh!

Youlin: Mmm yes. I hear her perfume has fruity citrus zest too. So anyways, what do you think of Star Wars?

Sister: OMG I love Maria Sharapova's fruity sweat/perfume! Star whatta? Oh Stars! Like Maria Sharapova! She's MY star.

At this point Youlin's verbal diarrhoea is probably being replaced by actual diarrhoea.

BTW, visit my sister's blog here: http://www.compulsivelychanel.tumblr.com/

Maria Sharapova, sometimes I hate you. And yes, I've purposely put a photo with cleavage so that more male visitors will come to my blog. Shameless, I know.

2) Perverted jokes are a good gauge of who you would hang out with for a long time.

When you were young and still unexposed, you may have been like me when you heard a perverted joke:

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! Get it away! Go away! How could you even think of that?"

As I got older, I found them to be funny.

Then, quite funny. Wasn't too long before I started cracking a few of my own too. Usually involving space and double meanings of words. I'll leave you to figure that out.

I needed some victims to listen to my jokes, so I tried them out on my friends. Now here's the interesting part:

The ones who don't cringe at your terrible jokes are the people who can actually tolerate you. Who can stand you. Who will stick to you like two-month old porridge sticks to your digestive system. Because they let you be you.

I have a friend who actually sang about a "place in France, where the naked ladies dance". Loud. In public. You know what, I'm still here. Still listening to it.

Now France may seem a little more interesting to you.

3) The phrase "He/She's So Hot/Smexy/Cute" is really useful.

No, dear readers, this ain't about flirting. This is about the magic phrase that can spark friendships, forge them out of seemingly nothing. Next time you see an attractive male/female passing by/on screen, don't squeal to yourself.

Squeal to other people instead. Preferably like this:

You've got to get so close, they can smell what you had for breakfast.

Chances are, some people will be disgusted by what you had for breakfast or who you're actually finding hot. (I have yet to find someone in real life who appreciates eybrows like I do, even though people generally like what I have for breakfast.) 

But never mind that. If you happen to attract the attention of someone who agrees with you, than ki-yippee-ya-hoo, you could probably end up talking/squealing the whole day. The phrase "Matt Bomer's hot." has reinforced a few friendships for me. Not only that, Matt Bomer can lead to talking about Kryptonite and the latest laptops in the market as well as a very sorry comedy film. Oh yes, Mr. Bomer is a good lead.

Not to mention you could make a crack about "Boner" as well. Refer to point 2!

P.S. I am sorry Mr. Bomer.

You don't know who Matt Bomer is? Google! And then come back and squeal with me online, via the cBox on the left.

And one last thing:

ZACHARYQUINTOEYEBROWSPAM.

Squeal with me if you agree!

Because Space Fashion Isn't Really That Far.

Hola mamacitas! And also those who aren't mamacitas.

Today's post will be an attempt by me to blog about fashion! For years, this subjct has bemused me, and even now, it mocks me. Because hell hath no fury like my mother when she sees me wearing plain clothes.

Not to mention the amount of designer brand-mentioning I hear these days forcing me to actually google some brands to find out what they have to offer.

Sometimes I find that the clothes shown on the runway aren't actually wearable in real life though. Unless you're Lady GaGa or something. That woman has earned my respect for trotting about in those porcelain shoes of hers.

My expereinces with porcelain always result in it breaking.

So anyway, those shoes were from Alexander Mcqueen. Have found more of his quirky shoes online:

These aren't called 'crabhammers' for nothing.

This is so shiny it could rival the sheen of any spaceship.

So anyways, I've always felt that way-out designs are quite similar to some of the old sci-fi clothes. You know, the hopelessly unfashionable ones. But modern fashion has made those sometimes very garish designs much better. Of course, we also discovered CGI and tight velour for sci-fi heroes and heroines. Let's see:

Tell me that marble-like texture of her skin and shellacked hair doesn't look out-of-this-world. Not only that but that shimmery fabric and mini-cut is reminescent of the 60s, where sci-fi was creatively explored.

"Lost in Space", a 1960s TV show. Just look at the shine. The SHINE!

Another fashion item is the high-shouldered jacket. I have enormous respect for people who can pull it off. I mean, I'd laugh at myself if I wore one. I'd be going "OMG like pointy shoulders lol!"

Pointy shoulders never looked better on anyone.

Well, this is Zapp Brannigan from Futurama, a sci-fi cartoon series from the creator of The Simpsons. Note: not shoulder pads, but shoulder hoops. Hoopla!

I am also aware of his abnormally short whatever-he-is-wearing, but I don't have an explanation for it yet.

Here is Miss Jupiter with her orange storm. And pretty funkeh shoulderblades--erm--shoulderpads.

Some of the wierdest, most minimalistic designs (note minimalistic meaning minimal cloth) come from the movie "The Fifth Element" with Bruce Willis and Milla Jovovich:

I wasn't kidding about minimal was I?

This guy from the movie is like a futuristic LaFayette(from True Blood) who sings and has really poofy hair. Yay!

To wrap it up I've found some pretty awesome sci-fi (koff it's just Star Trek) art which matches with fashion too:

No, I didn't draw it (though I wish I could!) It's by Annie Wu. Her website is HERE. Click! You'll like it.

She's made LadyKirk and LadySpock look really (for lack of a better word) hot. This picture makes my inner girliness surface just for a while. I mean, I find myself saying, those are pretty snazzy boots on LadySpock. Mmhmm LadyKirk's eyeliner looks good too.

Ye, LadySpock looks like cyber Morticia Addams. A very fashionable one at that. And LadyKirk's rocking that pixie cut.

Retro Spock and Uhura! Coolnessess. Look there's still that shine in Uhura's outfit, and Spock with grizzly facial hair! MmmMmm.Very hippie, in my opinion. Hey, but who's complaining? Oh yeah Uhura looks like Shingai Shoniwa from the Noisettes. Poofiness lol.

Artist is HERE. Clickety click again.

So looks like these days you can be a geek for pretty much anything. You could be a science fiction geek, or a fashion geek, but maybe it's the best when you find out you can be a little bit of both.

Channel your inner geekiness people. Let it all hang out.

I Have Found My Girly Thang.

Obviously Taylor Lautner's found his girly thangs.

Lord and Buddha and whatever other deity knows that I'm not the most fashionable kid on the block. Heck, I'm not even the most fashionable organism within a one-metre radius. When I was a kid, my grandma locked up all of my 'good clothes'.

Which basically was 95% of all my clothes. So I had to rotate the remaining 5% like no tomorrow. Traumatic. Especially when I had to wear a green shirt with red pants (Asian Santa's Elf much?)

When I acheived garment liberation at the age of 12 (I finally wrestled the key from her), I was happy. I pulled on whatever I wanted to wear everyday.

But recently, some FFFs have been talking to me.

Fashionable Females in the Family.

Like my mother. While driving me to the college, she was talking to me and then she suddenly noticed my very plain head.

"Youlin, why did you not use those absolutely cute hairclips I bought for you?"

Dude, I forgot. I actually forgot.

Oh well. Here I am, a kid who strives to do well in school and respect the Parents at the same time. And I don't complain when they ask me to do stuff. The only thing I'm doing wrong is forgetting to wear some absolutely cute hairclips.

"Tsk tsk Youlin. Disappointing. What is the point of me buying them for you?"

Sometimes words fail me. Even though I do like those hairclips. But woman, they're just hairclips.

So anyway lately I had to do a quick rescue operation to save my femininity. Or female-ness. Girly-ness.

Guys, I feel myself slipping. Into the realm away from the typically girly things. Into the Unknown!!

I'm not one to stereotype, but someone pointed out that there are some things that a typical girl would take an interest in. Ok. Not someone. It's my mother.

She says I cannot keep wearing lumberjack shirts and discussing physics with her. And no tough army skirt with that random T-shirt. And a little bit of floral would do me good.

Normally I'd tell my mother to please let me be me. But you know what? Sadly, I've found this hole within myself. This hole which I must fill with a bit of girlyness. Because secretly, I kind of like pink. Because secretly, I like little bows and ribbons and going all English Countryside Lass. Because secretly, I enjoy people playing with styling my hair.

Yes, underneath my tough, sci-fi hardened exterior, I'm floral and fluffy, Hmm. Very fluffy.

I needed something to represent this girlyness, so I resorted to stalking the discount-filled halls of the nearest shopping mall. Something that wasn't too pink. Something that wasn't desperately plastic. Something that would still allow me to wear lumberjack shirts and quote Spock AND be girly.

And then I found it. My girly thang. It was like an epiphany. Like when I found out Maggi Noodles were actually from Holland.

Yes, this is it. My girly thang. Hair bands. I swear as soon as I put one of them on, I feel fluffy. I feel some sense of liberation.

I even found one to match my lumberjack shirt. And to test it out I did the Vulcan hand salute while wearing it. I swear, I felt Leonard Nimoy and Zachary Quinto watching me.

Now imagine him with a hair band, Chinese, female and very much younger. That's me!

I swear, hair bands felt right. It felt right with my geekiness. My nerdyness. My inner girly cravings.

Now I'm off to buy them in every conceivable style and colour. Whee!

My Role Models are Big and Funny Guys

Once, I was a broken blogger who was fresh out of ideas. I stared at the empty screen, unmotivated.

Then I discovered http://www.tremendousnews.com/. It's a funny blog, written by the great Dee, who wants to be a screenwriter. He's tremendous, in his own words. Not only that, after I read it, I discovered that I could identify myself with him.

No one has seen Dee's face yet as far as I know. But he says he's a 30-year old man with moobs, who lives in his parents' basement, who cry-dances to various songs. And stalks Alyssa Milano.

Well, I'm a 16-year old girl with jiggly thighs, who spends 90% of the time in her room, and with self-esteem that oscillates between ridiculously high and ridiculously low. And stalks Zachary Quinto. Yes, some similarity there.

In fact, my self-esteem is so ridiculously high I actually imagine this conversation occurring:

Zachary Quinto: Oh look, you've got that South-east Asian girl following you on Twitter. The one with the jiggly thighs.

John Cho: Like totally, dude. Didn't she stalk follow you first though?

It's so ridiculously high I imagine people like to talk about my jiggly thighs. When actually it's only my family.

Scratch that. Only me. And I'm talking to my blog about it.
Well anyways folks. Follow tremendousnews on twitter. Fan him on facebook. Read his blog obsessively like I do. Because to anyone who has experienced the pain of jiggly body parts, this is something you can read while half-crying and half-laughing. Also if you've expereinced the pains of Twitter and Facebook. The man is wise to the social media. Wise, I tell you.

Courtesy of my friend Lina I have sought refuge in the antics of Gabriel Iglesias. Yes, another big and funny man. He does stand-up comedy. With no rehearsed lines. Just spouts out the stuff. In fact, he's not fat, he's FLUFFY! Here's a link to a youtube bit of him if you have not heard of him:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SsBS9tRdH4

Check out all his other links too!

Here's some fluffy in your face!

Oh I love Gabriel Iglesias. He's a reminder that in our sad sad sometimes degraded world, there is always a big and funny guy you can watch and laugh along with.

Plus he makes me feel better about finishing those last few Oreo cookies that I swore I would not touch. (He likes cake too!)

Doing Bad Things To You

Alrightly guys, it's time for another chapter of my banal life which I aim to make interesting!

Today's post will be about True Blood. Yes, the summer vampire series.

I feel like a hypocrite because of my scathing hate for vampires (It's Twilight's fault, seriously), but I do indeed like True Blood.

I had such a bias towards vampires that I kinda cringed whenever they came on screen because they were so pale. And up till then the only really pale fellow I'd seen on screen was Robert Pattinson. So, eeeh.

But one thing I thank True Blood for is for having a lead like Sookie. Sure, she's a typical blonde waitress. But she's plucky. And doesn't have a permanent expression of nonchalance on her face (hint hint). And she's telepathic and can shoot light out of her hands. And we're left wondering what the hell Sookie is. And she's not thin and sickly with no direction (*koff* Bella *koff*) She can stand up for herself, and she mouths off at Eric. In short, good personality, interesting to watch!

Speaking of Eric, yes, I've fallen into one of those hot-guy-on-TV-traps again. AGAIN. I told myself, no, Youlin, but did the brain listen? No. Bad brain. Bad bad brain.

But I don't think I'd be wrong in saying that Eric is intriguing. He just comes off as a bad-ass vampire at first, but slowly and bit by bit other facets of him are revealed. There's that element of vulnerability present when his maker Godric enters the scene. (For those not in the know, the maker is the one who well, mades the vampire).

Also I've found Eric's eyes to be quite emotive during scenes. Never mind that they're slightly red and puffy, if he's pissed off you'd know it. Character intonation is good too.

Plot wise, I like True Blood. Plenty of action, maybe a little slow at times but there's an element of danger and suspense. Not to mention LaFayette and Jason Stackhouse provide comic relief at times.

And sometimes I get annoyed because most of the vampires in the show speak like they're a hundred levels higher or something. But you know what? They are! I actually like the character concepts for vampires in the show, it has depth at least. It shows all the dirt and grit and it isn't afraid.

And that theme song is darn catchy. I've been singing "I wanna do bad things to you" to everything. My sister. My iPod. My computer. My dog.

On an unrelated side note, I've finished another pencil portrait. This time it's Zachary Quinto as Spock. (Sorry, I HAD to draw it) It was fun attempting the rather fleshy nose and bowl-cut hair. Thinking of drawing an Eric Northman next. Link to the bigger version: click HERE. 

Okie dokies folks! See ya nother time round!

A Geeky Little Poem of Mine.

There have been several occasions where I've wanted to be an astronomer/astrophysicist. But ultimately, I guess the only thing that I've liked about space is that I have insane dreams and hopes of flying around in it in a huge beautiful spaceship, exploring other planets. Like Futurama, Star Wars/Trek and The Fifth Element. Sometimes I wonder if I'll live long enough for this to happen.

So, I've written a little poem which represents something of these dreams, and what I think it would be like if I were an astronomer of some sort.

The Astronomer

Those feisty little points of light

that we all call the stars.

Some glow dim, some sparkle bright

Some are brilliant enigmas.

When I was young and on a pitch-black night,

They would be strewn across the sky.

But with things like telescopes and Einstein's might,

then only did I start to see why

they actually burnt with that certain red

or some other bluish hue.

Some even went all the way to black

holes that could swallow you.

On a sort of hungry mission

I embraced gravity.

I chewed on nuclear fission

and general relativity.

I kind of lost myself in

that dark abyss called space.

I used to dream that I could win

some fast-paced rocket race.

But no more, because now

I analyse grainy images.

And then I have to find out how

to explain them in the pages

of my latest publication.

There's not much time left for

growing my crazy imagination,

which leaves me a little sore.

I grapple with the mechanics

and solve some complex equations.

Working like some fanatic

bent on finding salvation.

The computer hums, a huge machine

of extensive calculating power.

Strings of data all heaving and lurching

In the background numbers hover.

I used to dream of purple planets

and deep seas of acid green.

But now as my work would have it,

there's only my computer screen.

I discuss object trajectories

and gravitational lensing of light.

Some boring yet exciting territory

but sometimes when I sleep at night

I cast off that technicality

and go back to when I was eight.

In retrofuturistic surreality

the Captain enters the stardate.

I anchor the craft and battle the wrath

of evil aliens cruel with strife.

I hope that before my human death

I'll have the cosmic ride of my life.

Of FMLs and GMHs

Hello world!

Many of you may be familiar with the website http://www.fmylife.com/. It's full of the sad, angry, very unfortunate chronicles of everyday life. I read it and I laugh at people's misfortune. Then I feel bad and sympathise. Then I laugh again. If you've never read it, go. By all means, click on the link.

Yes I know I'm such a horrible person. =P

You can so tell this guy just posted on FML.

Makes you wonder though: How many FML things happen everyday? The website is swamped with tales of not earning enough, bad hygiene, finding out your best friend is pregnant with your boyfriend's kid, finding out your sister is pregnant with your boyfriend's kid, your parents having discussions about YOU on Facebook, etc.

I swear, it makes my jiggly thighs look really appealing.

Then there's http://www.givesmehope.com/ Which is the exact, non bi-polar version of FML. It's so...sweet. So...'awwwww'. It's full of happiness that will stretch your cheeks so much they'll push into your eyes and hurt you.

Sometimes I wish I felt more like this.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't like happy websites. In fact, I go to them secretly while pretending to the outside world that I'm an unemotional cynical blogger who doesn't care. And then I cry into my pillows at night because I feel for some random person who's had a bit of misfortune but then somethng nice happened to them.

I think I've gone through 3 soggy pillowcases already.

Then it makes me wonder, do those nice things actually happen? I haven't seen much lately. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places. I mean,

Reading the BBC. Oil Spill. Wildlife dead. North Korea and South Korea dispute over a ship. South Korea's rocket failed to launch.

Reading the tabloids: OMG this celebrity is gay! (Or maybe not really, but we don't care do we?) OMG we saw this celebrity pumping petrol! OMG these two random people are dating because they walk next to each other!

I so totally swear these two are dating.

So guys, do you like FML-ing or are you one of those serene GMH-ers? Or are you like me, trying to be funny because you sadly cannot decide on which side you're on? Cbox me, people. Cbox me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some people to laugh at and some pillowcases to replace.