I don't know, but I like building suspense. XD
So anyway, today I went for driving class. Now the instructor was real interesting cos he was supposed to teach us all about the fan belt and engine and all that sort of stuff, but he didn't. Instead, he handed me the wheel and told me to drive. I was like "Oh my god I'm so nervous what if I crash this itty bitty car or ram into a post and totally bend it?! Wait the thought of me bending metal is actually cool. OMG OMG."
So it was a manual car which means clutch, brake and accelerator. I kept messing up the clutch, didn't know when to press it halfway or fully or how to step on the accelerator properly while on the clutch, and the instructor was ,"Up clutch! No not all the way! Not so down! Feel the pedal feel the pedal oh no you've released it all the way oh great now the engine has stopped start it again please."
And I kept turning the steering wheel too much, I blame those PS2 Underground racing games I used to play. I always twisted the car too much, but then at least I didn't have the prospect of death or injury to worry about. I mean the worst thing that could happen was that I would lose the race. @_@
All in all I went ten rounds around the track and it was loads better after that. I actually had fun! I kept imagining Spock driving though, I don't know why. And how he'd have that poker face of his on. I hope that expression didn't end up on my face, when I get nervous my facial muscles become stupid and freeze there.
Actually, I do think I looked somewhat like this, gah.
The instructor told me, "You see, don't be nervous, otherwise it's just giving yourself stupidity in advance befor you actually do anything. When people say things like that a little light bulb goes off in my brain and I have this moment of epiphany and confidence where I say "OH YES THAT MAKES LOGICAL SENSE."
So I thought about it, and yeah, many times we are scared of new things simply because we have had no prior exposure to it. It takes getting used to, and then we don't feel that it's scary anymore. If anything, it becomes routine, and we become better and better at it.
I think most technical skills are like that--you HAVE to repeat them to learn them well. I like doing things with my hands, so that involves driving and also drawing right now. Geesh, it takes me forever to realise this sort of epic truth to life. Had I known/realised this earlier, I wouldn't have sweated so much about my violin (which basically involves a lot of technical skill) and instead put more patience into repeating movements until I got it right. I didn't have so much patience though, so I actually griped a lot and nearly burnt the instrument on a few occassions.
"Son, I am disappoint." (which is what my dad would say if my family were Vulcans and if I was actually a guy.)
For me, it's this sort of thing where I usually measure myself against other people's standards (WHICH IS NOT A WISE THING TO DO SO DON'T DO IT) Unfortunately this results in me feeling that my art is "not good enough" so I usually don't draw much, which is counterproductive. =.=
But after a while I figured that measuring myself against other people usually ends up in me measuring against my previous standards because what this means is that I want to surpass my previous level of drawing. So in reality I am measuring against myself. And that is a better form of encouragement because it makes me do things like draw a human body everyday, with reference to muscles and figuring out where they go on skeletons and stuff.
I used to hate learning all the muscle systems and stuff, but now it makes more sense to me because I see how they give the human body its form. That small logical part of my brain appreciates it too. So basically I'm just repeating and repeating those forms everyday. It's a small step, but a step nonetheless. Like I said this is technical, so it has to be done many times. In other words, practice~
Enjoy your day. =)
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