Utterly Perplexing Emotions and Star Trek Fluff.

Hello world! Today I will rant about my emotions. No, it's not about some boy. No, it's not about schoolwork. It's basically about...well, me. (Oh lordies another narcissistic post.)

I don't know. I do think emotions are the queerest little things that reside in your body and pop up suddenly. They interfere with everything you are supposed to do. They throw you off whack, and they're so incredibly distracting. You know, like "I don't feel like being hardworking and studying for my exams today."

And "I wanna eat so much and get fat even though I know I shouldn't." This one, friend, is LUST. FOOD LUST.

Ah I could just gobble you up so bad ya sexy thing. This pic is courtesy of http://www.foodwhore.tumblr.com/

And then, there's the Inferiority Complex. Oh mothership, I hate the Inferiority Complex. You think you're pretty damn good at something and then you find someone who does it a kajillion times better then you. Then you start wondering what sort of cosmic force would want to bring so much misery to you by rubbing your pathetic failure in your face.

You can tell I've had a lot of experience with Mr. Inferiority Complex.

Well, ever since I became a Trekkie I've looked to Spock for an answer. (Yes this is how bad my fandom is. So sue me.)Well you know I took a leaf out of his book and tried to not give in to these pesky emotions too much. Because emotions are what make us human, neh?

So I'd feel bad for a bit. Then I'd let the feeling sink in. Then I'd close my eyes and just let the feeling pass. Y'know, don't fight the feeling. Let it be.


Surprisingly, the feeling went. There was some sort of funny calm left behind, like when you stir your bathwater and it makes little ripples.

For the sake of irrelevance I shall put a pic of an adorable little kid sitting in bathwater. Heh!

So for a while the technique worked. Everytime I felt like an angsty teenager I'd let the feeling pass and return to my little bathwater calm place.

Then I started doing that for EVERY feeling. Even the happy ones. So I would be all "Yay!" and then suddenly all calm and introspective. I was kinda killing the happy feeling there. So, not the perfect thing to do.

I don't know. I seem to bounce back very fast from extreme feelings of anger/frustration/sadness/happiness. It's mostly good, but sometimes not so good.

So finally I've decided to just keep being curious about these emotions of mine. You know, treat it like a game, or an experiment. Because they're actually pretty interesting if you observe them after a while. Sometimes you laugh at yourself for even feeling that way. Sometimes you think you're an absolute idiot. But whatever it is, treating yourself like a lab rat actually does help you to see things clearer.

And I do like my little bathwater technique. I just have to make sure that when I'm really happy, my face will stay like that little baby's in the picture.

Oh yes, and that Star Trek Fluff in the title? I've actually done a little fluffy couple picture in the ST universe, and the bigger version is here. I know, I don't draw fluffy couple pictures. Or use Photoshop. But there's a first time for everything.

If you have deviantart and want to give me constructive criticism, please do so. If not, and you want Mr. Inferiority Complex to visit me, you can post a snide comment in the cBox on the left. Or a nice one. Or you could leave a message about bathwater.

Ta-ta for now, faithful cyberspace. XD 

How To Swear Without Swearing.

Are you prone to large amounts of swearing and want to swear a little more creatively?

Do you have a no-swearing bet that you have to fulfil but still want to swear anyway?

If so, then this article is for you! Today I will discuss ways to swear so that people don't realise that you're swearing.

Disclaimer: Author is not responsible for any insanity/social repulsion due to this article. Use tips at own risk.

1. Swear in another language. No, not Swahili. Or any other human language for that matter.

Instead, why not opt for an alien language? Taking a leaf from Star Trek's Klingons, a famous Klingon insult is: "Your mother has a smooth forehead!"

Why not put it in Klingon: Hab SoSlI' Quch!

WARNING: Do not use this on Trekkies, apparently it is bad enough to start a war. The last thing you need is a fan jabbing you in the eyes with his pointy ears.

Now you know why smooth foreheads are so insulting.

And if service is slow at restaurants, or if the darn salesgirl cannot get you shoes in size 37 1/4, you can say this: Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam. (Today is a good day to die.)

Ah, and not to forget Vulcans! However they are a more...civilised race and I can't find many authentic language insults. However, I did find many intelligent Vulcan ways of putting standard English insults! These were taken from this forum.

English: Die in hell. (Dunno if this is accurate.)
Vulcan: Decease in a highly exothermic environment.

English: I fart in your general direction.
Vulcan: I release flatulence at the likely coordinates of your position.

Why don't you dudes figure these ones out:
1) You seem to be an entity that is entirely composed of the posterior opening of the alimentary canal.
2)I wouldn't mate with you if you were the last sentient in the galaxy and I was deep into the most powerful Pon Farr ever experienced.

Don't know what Pon Farr is? Click here!

Live long and prosper, you mother*censored*. I swear this was the message in the movie.

2. Make up your own swear words.

Think about it, if you do make up your own swear words no one will understand them except you, and you get the satisfaction of swearing too!

My sister calls me a Mohibi sometimes. Now it's supposed to be an awful insult from her, but every time I hear Mohibi, you know what I think of?

A Mohibi= Mohawk wearing baby. You can't get mad at someone who compares you to such an adorable thing.

So try it out. Call your annoying little sibling a Mohibi. Your dog. Your cat. Your gerbil/hamster/pet snake.

Because secretly, we regret the fact that our mothers never made us into cute Mohibis when we were young.

Kid, be proud of your hair.

3. Just swear without words.

Ah we have the Italians to thank for this one. Very eloquent. Express your anger using a simple shaking of your hands, and various twirling motions! Image below from http://www.wonkette.com/

Make sure you swipe you hand from under you chin appropriately. Otherwise it'll look like you're trying to tickle yourself to make yourself laugh. Which can look pretty desperate and give others the impression that there is no laughter in your life. Hmm...there IS laughter in your life, right? *raises eyebrows*

Ahh, who doesn't know this gesture?

All in all, maybe sometimes swearing is too much trouble.

And now I will leave you in peace. Have a nice day! 

Buddha Says.

I have not been the most religious person in my life. My visits to various Buddhist temples mostly involve some Chinese New Year prayers. I don't read the sutras everyday. I don't really go vegetarian.

But one thing Buddha says is VERY true. Its "Desiring is suffering."

But I mean, isn't it human nature to desire? We want to be so much better than we are now, to move forwards, to evolve and such. Then I realised it probably meant personal desire, materialistic desire.

Like how we want new cars, clothes, items, gadgets. I think so. I have seen so many fashion blogs and wishlists--sometimes I wonder what is the drive behind people that causes them to shop and buy and consume and use all these garments, all these accessories.

It's good to look presentable, but why do we keep chasing these fashions? Since they probably repeat every decade or so.

I've faced cases where I wanted things really badly. It was 'suffering', you could say. You want it so badly that you find yourself sucked into a vortex and you cannot come out because your oxygen tank is at the very bottom of that vortex.

For me, the things I have wanted are quite intangible. For example, more friends. Having grown up a painfully shy kid, I suddenly wanted to mingle more for fear of missing out. I guess I musnt've been terribly good at it, because sometimes I make friends whom I cannot keep. I'm not horribly close to people from my primary and secondary schools, though sometimes I wish I had been. It's difficult for me to maintain friendships by calling people if I don't see them every day.

Probably explains why my Facebook wall is so randomised. The people I know are random and all over the place. Friends come, and go.

Also, having grown up with a pathological fear of the opposite sex, there was probably a point when I would have traded my left kidney just for some male attention.

Heck, my left kidney and a slice of my liver. Perhaps I was 'suffering' whenever I'd see a dude with a chick and they were all so happy and la-la-land and all. It was a bit of a 'wallflower' moment, a bit of a 'why not ME???' moment.

I think, screw it. We only want the things that people have. We want the attention that someone else is getting, and we know it. I listened to Buddha. I tried to stop wanting stuff and just let my personality develop.

And at the end of 16 years or so, you have this semi-sarcastic, random, sci-fi crazy chick who is writing internet poop. You know what, I kind of like her. I suppose if you cannot like yourself you can't really expect other people to want to befriend you. And maybe once you feel at peace with yourself then other people won't see your insecurity. Ergo, much easier to talk to others.

When I stopped wanting I felt a bit better. And strangely, now I do somewhat have what I want. Buddha, you are one cool dude.

Pardon this somewhat narcissistic post. I like writing things out. At least I hope that this internet poop will benefit/entertain/make you laugh with pity in some way. 

Some Things I Learnt After Talking To People.

OMG, like hi, readerrsssss!

Pardon the beginning. I believe we should keep things interesting. So. Helllooo!

Anyways when I was young I hardly talked to people. Wasn't the most sociable Asian bugger you'd meet. Heck, not the most sociable bugger you'd meet.

But that's changed now. I'm still not wildly and fanatically popular, but people actually smile at me now when I walk down corridors. And we know each other's names. =D

But anyways, here are some valuable things I learnt in Social Skills 101, that apply to anyone in any conversation.

1. If the bugger is not interested in what you are saying, SHUSH.

I learnt this the hard way. You know, me being a sci-fi chick and all, I try to talk about rockets, space guns, Star Wars, robots, pointy-eared men aboard huge ass spaceships, more robots, things like that.

But if the girl/guy you are talking to is really not interested, don't continue talking. Even though it gets you hyped up. Even though you feel that you are gonna burst into a nice bout of verbal diarrhoea.

Because people don't like verbal diarrhoea.

The only thing people hate more than verbal diarrhoea is actual diarrhoea.

So bowels aside, if the bugger doesn't give a hoot about robots, he/she isn't going to be hooty about it no matter how hard you try. If you still keep on trying, here is how the convo would be like:

Youlin: Hey, I thought that movie was pretty spiffy. You know, guy stuck on moon, with only a computer for company, going crazy...

Sister: OMG, I like so totally dig that new Maria Sharapova perfume! It's like bathing in her sweat!

Youlin: The poor astronaut though, he couldn't contact his family, and he was just a tool of the corporation...

Sister: And you know what? It's only RM 158! Imagine spritzing on some Sharapova sweat everyday! Mmm. Fresh fresh fresh!

Youlin: Mmm yes. I hear her perfume has fruity citrus zest too. So anyways, what do you think of Star Wars?

Sister: OMG I love Maria Sharapova's fruity sweat/perfume! Star whatta? Oh Stars! Like Maria Sharapova! She's MY star.

At this point Youlin's verbal diarrhoea is probably being replaced by actual diarrhoea.

BTW, visit my sister's blog here: http://www.compulsivelychanel.tumblr.com/

Maria Sharapova, sometimes I hate you. And yes, I've purposely put a photo with cleavage so that more male visitors will come to my blog. Shameless, I know.

2) Perverted jokes are a good gauge of who you would hang out with for a long time.

When you were young and still unexposed, you may have been like me when you heard a perverted joke:

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! Get it away! Go away! How could you even think of that?"

As I got older, I found them to be funny.

Then, quite funny. Wasn't too long before I started cracking a few of my own too. Usually involving space and double meanings of words. I'll leave you to figure that out.

I needed some victims to listen to my jokes, so I tried them out on my friends. Now here's the interesting part:

The ones who don't cringe at your terrible jokes are the people who can actually tolerate you. Who can stand you. Who will stick to you like two-month old porridge sticks to your digestive system. Because they let you be you.

I have a friend who actually sang about a "place in France, where the naked ladies dance". Loud. In public. You know what, I'm still here. Still listening to it.

Now France may seem a little more interesting to you.

3) The phrase "He/She's So Hot/Smexy/Cute" is really useful.

No, dear readers, this ain't about flirting. This is about the magic phrase that can spark friendships, forge them out of seemingly nothing. Next time you see an attractive male/female passing by/on screen, don't squeal to yourself.

Squeal to other people instead. Preferably like this:

You've got to get so close, they can smell what you had for breakfast.

Chances are, some people will be disgusted by what you had for breakfast or who you're actually finding hot. (I have yet to find someone in real life who appreciates eybrows like I do, even though people generally like what I have for breakfast.) 

But never mind that. If you happen to attract the attention of someone who agrees with you, than ki-yippee-ya-hoo, you could probably end up talking/squealing the whole day. The phrase "Matt Bomer's hot." has reinforced a few friendships for me. Not only that, Matt Bomer can lead to talking about Kryptonite and the latest laptops in the market as well as a very sorry comedy film. Oh yes, Mr. Bomer is a good lead.

Not to mention you could make a crack about "Boner" as well. Refer to point 2!

P.S. I am sorry Mr. Bomer.

You don't know who Matt Bomer is? Google! And then come back and squeal with me online, via the cBox on the left.

And one last thing:

ZACHARYQUINTOEYEBROWSPAM.

Squeal with me if you agree!

Because Space Fashion Isn't Really That Far.

Hola mamacitas! And also those who aren't mamacitas.

Today's post will be an attempt by me to blog about fashion! For years, this subjct has bemused me, and even now, it mocks me. Because hell hath no fury like my mother when she sees me wearing plain clothes.

Not to mention the amount of designer brand-mentioning I hear these days forcing me to actually google some brands to find out what they have to offer.

Sometimes I find that the clothes shown on the runway aren't actually wearable in real life though. Unless you're Lady GaGa or something. That woman has earned my respect for trotting about in those porcelain shoes of hers.

My expereinces with porcelain always result in it breaking.

So anyway, those shoes were from Alexander Mcqueen. Have found more of his quirky shoes online:

These aren't called 'crabhammers' for nothing.

This is so shiny it could rival the sheen of any spaceship.

So anyways, I've always felt that way-out designs are quite similar to some of the old sci-fi clothes. You know, the hopelessly unfashionable ones. But modern fashion has made those sometimes very garish designs much better. Of course, we also discovered CGI and tight velour for sci-fi heroes and heroines. Let's see:

Tell me that marble-like texture of her skin and shellacked hair doesn't look out-of-this-world. Not only that but that shimmery fabric and mini-cut is reminescent of the 60s, where sci-fi was creatively explored.

"Lost in Space", a 1960s TV show. Just look at the shine. The SHINE!

Another fashion item is the high-shouldered jacket. I have enormous respect for people who can pull it off. I mean, I'd laugh at myself if I wore one. I'd be going "OMG like pointy shoulders lol!"

Pointy shoulders never looked better on anyone.

Well, this is Zapp Brannigan from Futurama, a sci-fi cartoon series from the creator of The Simpsons. Note: not shoulder pads, but shoulder hoops. Hoopla!

I am also aware of his abnormally short whatever-he-is-wearing, but I don't have an explanation for it yet.

Here is Miss Jupiter with her orange storm. And pretty funkeh shoulderblades--erm--shoulderpads.

Some of the wierdest, most minimalistic designs (note minimalistic meaning minimal cloth) come from the movie "The Fifth Element" with Bruce Willis and Milla Jovovich:

I wasn't kidding about minimal was I?

This guy from the movie is like a futuristic LaFayette(from True Blood) who sings and has really poofy hair. Yay!

To wrap it up I've found some pretty awesome sci-fi (koff it's just Star Trek) art which matches with fashion too:

No, I didn't draw it (though I wish I could!) It's by Annie Wu. Her website is HERE. Click! You'll like it.

She's made LadyKirk and LadySpock look really (for lack of a better word) hot. This picture makes my inner girliness surface just for a while. I mean, I find myself saying, those are pretty snazzy boots on LadySpock. Mmhmm LadyKirk's eyeliner looks good too.

Ye, LadySpock looks like cyber Morticia Addams. A very fashionable one at that. And LadyKirk's rocking that pixie cut.

Retro Spock and Uhura! Coolnessess. Look there's still that shine in Uhura's outfit, and Spock with grizzly facial hair! MmmMmm.Very hippie, in my opinion. Hey, but who's complaining? Oh yeah Uhura looks like Shingai Shoniwa from the Noisettes. Poofiness lol.

Artist is HERE. Clickety click again.

So looks like these days you can be a geek for pretty much anything. You could be a science fiction geek, or a fashion geek, but maybe it's the best when you find out you can be a little bit of both.

Channel your inner geekiness people. Let it all hang out.

I Have Found My Girly Thang.

Obviously Taylor Lautner's found his girly thangs.

Lord and Buddha and whatever other deity knows that I'm not the most fashionable kid on the block. Heck, I'm not even the most fashionable organism within a one-metre radius. When I was a kid, my grandma locked up all of my 'good clothes'.

Which basically was 95% of all my clothes. So I had to rotate the remaining 5% like no tomorrow. Traumatic. Especially when I had to wear a green shirt with red pants (Asian Santa's Elf much?)

When I acheived garment liberation at the age of 12 (I finally wrestled the key from her), I was happy. I pulled on whatever I wanted to wear everyday.

But recently, some FFFs have been talking to me.

Fashionable Females in the Family.

Like my mother. While driving me to the college, she was talking to me and then she suddenly noticed my very plain head.

"Youlin, why did you not use those absolutely cute hairclips I bought for you?"

Dude, I forgot. I actually forgot.

Oh well. Here I am, a kid who strives to do well in school and respect the Parents at the same time. And I don't complain when they ask me to do stuff. The only thing I'm doing wrong is forgetting to wear some absolutely cute hairclips.

"Tsk tsk Youlin. Disappointing. What is the point of me buying them for you?"

Sometimes words fail me. Even though I do like those hairclips. But woman, they're just hairclips.

So anyway lately I had to do a quick rescue operation to save my femininity. Or female-ness. Girly-ness.

Guys, I feel myself slipping. Into the realm away from the typically girly things. Into the Unknown!!

I'm not one to stereotype, but someone pointed out that there are some things that a typical girl would take an interest in. Ok. Not someone. It's my mother.

She says I cannot keep wearing lumberjack shirts and discussing physics with her. And no tough army skirt with that random T-shirt. And a little bit of floral would do me good.

Normally I'd tell my mother to please let me be me. But you know what? Sadly, I've found this hole within myself. This hole which I must fill with a bit of girlyness. Because secretly, I kind of like pink. Because secretly, I like little bows and ribbons and going all English Countryside Lass. Because secretly, I enjoy people playing with styling my hair.

Yes, underneath my tough, sci-fi hardened exterior, I'm floral and fluffy, Hmm. Very fluffy.

I needed something to represent this girlyness, so I resorted to stalking the discount-filled halls of the nearest shopping mall. Something that wasn't too pink. Something that wasn't desperately plastic. Something that would still allow me to wear lumberjack shirts and quote Spock AND be girly.

And then I found it. My girly thang. It was like an epiphany. Like when I found out Maggi Noodles were actually from Holland.

Yes, this is it. My girly thang. Hair bands. I swear as soon as I put one of them on, I feel fluffy. I feel some sense of liberation.

I even found one to match my lumberjack shirt. And to test it out I did the Vulcan hand salute while wearing it. I swear, I felt Leonard Nimoy and Zachary Quinto watching me.

Now imagine him with a hair band, Chinese, female and very much younger. That's me!

I swear, hair bands felt right. It felt right with my geekiness. My nerdyness. My inner girly cravings.

Now I'm off to buy them in every conceivable style and colour. Whee!

My Role Models are Big and Funny Guys

Once, I was a broken blogger who was fresh out of ideas. I stared at the empty screen, unmotivated.

Then I discovered http://www.tremendousnews.com/. It's a funny blog, written by the great Dee, who wants to be a screenwriter. He's tremendous, in his own words. Not only that, after I read it, I discovered that I could identify myself with him.

No one has seen Dee's face yet as far as I know. But he says he's a 30-year old man with moobs, who lives in his parents' basement, who cry-dances to various songs. And stalks Alyssa Milano.

Well, I'm a 16-year old girl with jiggly thighs, who spends 90% of the time in her room, and with self-esteem that oscillates between ridiculously high and ridiculously low. And stalks Zachary Quinto. Yes, some similarity there.

In fact, my self-esteem is so ridiculously high I actually imagine this conversation occurring:

Zachary Quinto: Oh look, you've got that South-east Asian girl following you on Twitter. The one with the jiggly thighs.

John Cho: Like totally, dude. Didn't she stalk follow you first though?

It's so ridiculously high I imagine people like to talk about my jiggly thighs. When actually it's only my family.

Scratch that. Only me. And I'm talking to my blog about it.
Well anyways folks. Follow tremendousnews on twitter. Fan him on facebook. Read his blog obsessively like I do. Because to anyone who has experienced the pain of jiggly body parts, this is something you can read while half-crying and half-laughing. Also if you've expereinced the pains of Twitter and Facebook. The man is wise to the social media. Wise, I tell you.

Courtesy of my friend Lina I have sought refuge in the antics of Gabriel Iglesias. Yes, another big and funny man. He does stand-up comedy. With no rehearsed lines. Just spouts out the stuff. In fact, he's not fat, he's FLUFFY! Here's a link to a youtube bit of him if you have not heard of him:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SsBS9tRdH4

Check out all his other links too!

Here's some fluffy in your face!

Oh I love Gabriel Iglesias. He's a reminder that in our sad sad sometimes degraded world, there is always a big and funny guy you can watch and laugh along with.

Plus he makes me feel better about finishing those last few Oreo cookies that I swore I would not touch. (He likes cake too!)