And Life Continues on the Earth's Axis.

Huh. This is an update on my personal life. I know, *so* exciting, right.

Besides the fact that I have exams (which I must be on my toes for), I have recently found drawing to be very therapeutic. Especially since I've been figuring out how to draw poses and stuff like that. Pretty frustrating though, I always feel I can never draw as well as I want to. But oddly, after staring at the picture I've finally done, there's a sense that it's somewhat complete. It's weird. Really. I never know whether to be pissed or happy with my art.

Anyways, here's some gay Spock/Kirk funny-ass comics for your viewing pleasure: They made me laugh like a hyena on drugs or something. Oh, and there's some Spock/Uhura too. I hope to do funny-ass art like that someday. =D

NOTE: I DIDN'T DRAW THESE COMICS. NatNatTOS did. BUT I WISH I DID. ^_^

http://natnattos.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d30wyho
http://natnattos.deviantart.com/art/Mind-Tricks-179996737?q=gallery%3ANatnatTOS%2F26601679&qo=12
http://natnattos.deviantart.com/art/Prompt-Vulcan-Orgasm-Pinch-182572201?q=gallery%3ANatnatTOS%2F26601679&qo=5
http://natnattos.deviantart.com/art/Amok-Time-182400838?q=gallery%3ANatnatTOS%2F26601679&qo=6
http://natnattos.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d30rl6j

Anyhoo, I have some papers to practice on and some hair to colour. Toodles!

Review: South of the Border, West of the Sun

Today's blog post will be a book review by a Japanese author, Haruki Murakami. (I haven't finished Catcher in the Rye yet.) I was first introduced to this author by my friend Amanda, (click for her blog) when I was a wee lassie in Year 9. (Ok, maybe not that wee lassie.)

I started off with Kafka on the Shore and even now I do not fully understand it. Mr. Murakami is well known for his use of surrealism that ties in with his themes of human life, emotions and the philosophy of existence.

My friend lent me this shorter novel of his (it's only 200 pages) so I finished it in a few days. I have read some other Murakami novels since Kafka, and this would be the latest.

It chronicles the life of Hajime, a child born in 1951. Being an only child, he had only one friend, Shimamoto, a girl. But they lost touch when he moved away. Growing up into his teens and then his twenties, we see Hajime gain a better grasp of how his life is progressing, but yet we see his selfish side, in a few chapters where he wounds his high school girlfriend emotionally.

Upon graduation he gets stuck in a dead-end job, aimless and directionless in his life for 8 years, until he meets Yukiko and marries her, settling into family life with two daughters, running a jazz bar.

Then one day, Shimamoto comes back. The book explores his feelings and his inability to forget his first love. All this paves the way to infidelity, and at the same time, some self-discovery. I have noticed that most of the Murakami novels I've read deal with self-discovery, and how you don't really know yourself until you learn from experience.

Also, most of the protagonists in his books are average, decent males who are searching for something, some inner fulfillment. This somewhat fits Hajime here. As a female teenage reader, I can't really relate to Hajime's mid-life crisis, but I do suppose it is an artistic expression of what goes through men's minds at this point. These days divorces are so common and to me, having an artistic impression of infidelity somehow makes the irrationality of human emotional motivation easier to tolerate.

Hajime's selfishness is highlighted well, and is clearly seen in a short conversation with his wife, where she points out that he assumes he knows what she is thinking and that he has never really asked her a question about anything. You'd think that she would be outraged, but instead, she just takes the blow, quietly stating to him that she feels the pain but nothing else.

I think that deep down, Hajime is afraid of being alone, maybe alone with no one but himself for company. He describes a "force" within him that he cannot overcome. The force of a selfish desire for his first love, perhaps? Someone he may never have. Here I think again of Buddha's words, "Desire is suffering."

While this book does not have much of that ethereal glow that I savour while reading other Murakami works, (I have read about a Sheepman, and fish raining from the sky) I found it enjoyable, because you could see the feelings point-blank. Sometimes the misty metaphors that he uses in other books take a while to adjust to an interpret. It seems like a straightforward story, but because of the way in which Hajime's feelings are described, like something blurred, something which lurks incessantly, it isn't that simple.

In conclusion, I was able to feel Hajime's desperation, and was relieved that he found some closure at the end of the book. Murakami's language is simple--even in Japanese (I read the English translation), but the things he conveys are not. South of the Border reads a bit like a dream, yet at all times you are made aware of reality lurking behind it. Then Murakami asks you: what is reality?

Wow, I've been rambling on. I can't stop soon enough when I talk about books. This isn't a serious review, though, I just want to expound on my thoughts on the book. Try a Murakami sometime. You may be surprised, or you may be disgusted, or you may love it, but I think it would be a unique experience.

Time Keeps On Slipping

Alright, alright, I've ripped the title from a Futurama episode. If you do not know the awesomeness that is Futurama, I suggest you go Google it. Right. Now. And watch a couple of episodes too.

Anyway, time does keep on slipping because there are a few weeks left to the A2 exams right now. I am prepared, but things seem to escape my mind nowadays, squirming a bit to get out? OMG stay in stay in information.

And this is not a good time, but my right hand itches to draw. So. So. Badly. To somewhat escape my boredom I have taken to drawing little Star Trek cartoons in the edges of my past-year papers. I was so bored I tried doing a Kirk/Spock moment. Yes. ST slash. If you want to see my doodles, cbox me and I'll move it here for fun and laughter. Well more likely laughter, my own drawings are so bad sometimes they make me laugh.

Anyways, I'm really thankful I can doodle at least. It's fun! I used to be really suckass at drawing, and I'm not so hot myself even now, but I never thought I'd be able to draw. I think art saves my sanity sometimes. Granted, I'm not as talented as some brilliant! artists out there, but yeah, drawing is just for fun. After all, Matt Groening (creator of Futurama and the Simpsons) said he couldn't draw his own characters very well, and look where he is. =D

Sometimes I wonder what my life would've been like if I'd been an art student. Like, really artsy-fartsy, dissecting literature and quoting Lord Byron and studying art history. Probably I would have more time for drawing, and maybe I would have more time to practice too! I suppose I do enjoy expressing myself, but for some reason I've always preferred the sciences. (Maybe because it appeals to that small logical part of my brain, lol.) Art subjects...are too subjective! Nothing is right or wrong...but then I suppose 99% of life is like that!

Anyways, this is my brain right now. Pretty much self-explanatory. =D You guys should try a brain portrait sometime; it's really fun!

Brave New World: A Dystopia of Pleasure?

Today's post will be a book review about the novel "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley. It's a pretty iconic book, and if you haven't read it yet, please give it a shot. I'm just going to post my thoughts about it, and its underlying message.

I have never liked literature because of the way I was taught it (memorise, memorise, memorise) but maybe that will change as I'm slowly returning to my habit of reading.


To give an intro, Brave New World is set in the 2500s, where everyone lives under a "World State" and is perpetually happy. Humans are divided into five classes: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta and Epsilon. Gamma to Epsilon classes perform more menial work, and Alpha and Beta are more upper-caste.

No one is born the normal way; everyone is "manufactured" via IVF through sperm and eggs. Sometimes eggs are "Bokanovskified" so that they produce batches 96 identical individuals(for Gammas to Epsilons). Promiscuity is promoted and everyone is encouraged to "have one another". No one ages. At sixty you still look young. The word "mother"is a swear word, and "father" is a joke. The idea of marriage, family, and passionate relationships are over.

Kids are conditioned by having subliminal messages pumped into their ears during sleep. The first part of the story deals with life in this society. We are introduced to Bernard Marx (who somewhat questions the civilisation) and Lenina Crowne (who is a typical female).

The second part deals with Bernard and Lenina going to a Savage reservation in Mexico (where people still live lives much like the native American Indians in my opinion). They find a white man who was born there; he is John, known as "Mr. Savage" when he returns to London with Bernard, along with his mother, Linda, who has actually aged without the chemicals to keep her young.

The third part of the book deals with the Savage living in London and the struggles he faces with this "Brave New World". I won't say more here, except that in order to truly appreciate the many layers of this world you have to read the book yourself.

 My opinions on this dystopian world:
--It has some elements of early 20th century advancement, such as mass production, being written in 1932. Perhaps the most eerie one is the "baby in the bottle" way of manufacturing people and then putting them on an assembly line, where they have alcohol put into their bottles to dumb them down and exposed to heat or cold so that they can be adapted to future job conditions.

--Consumption and capitalism seem to play an important part. Deltas are conditioned to like certain things so that they would spend more on them, supporting the economy. Not very unlike our current world, where we have to "keep up with trends" and new products are always grazing the surface of the market.

--People are brainwashed since young to like their place in the Alpha-Epsilon caste, and there is always a "soma" drug to keep you happy should you ever feel unpleasant emotions. Everyone is happy. This is something the Savage questions. Given my never-ending quest to truly understand and live with human emotions, I couldn't help but be interested in this part. A world where everyone is happy?
 
It is ideal, but then we would lose some semblance of humanity. For what is there to work for, if everything you want is given to you? If happiness is something shaken out of a pill-box?

There is a part when the Controller reads a paper by Bernard describing a suspicion that the ultimate goal is not a stable Society, but perhaps some expansion of human intelligence and consciousness.

But then, he shakes his head and says "This cannot be published."

After reading the notes at the back of the book, I found out that Aldous Huxley was actually quite interested in this human intelligence and consciousness expansion. I am, too, after reading about "Boltzmann brains." These are supposedly random events where a conscious entity supposedly "pops up" in the Universe. But I digress. Wikipedia it if you want, it's something abstract that you can wrap your mind around.

All in all, I enjoyed the book, and am impressed at the scope of Mr. Huxley's imagination. It leaves me a little shaky because it reminds me of human beings' propensity for evil, and that some small parts of the book may already be showing up in our society, like consumerism. Maybe that's why I like sci-fi--it's full of "what ifs" and predictions of the future of humankind. Good as food for thought.

I know this is a long post, so thanks for putting up with it. I have a huge stack of other sci-fi and general fiction that I'm trying to finish. The next book review I think will be about "Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger. I'm looking forward to it.

At the risk of sounding like I'm spreading educational propaganda for young kids, Reading is Fun!

Utterly Perplexing Emotions and Star Trek Fluff.

Hello world! Today I will rant about my emotions. No, it's not about some boy. No, it's not about schoolwork. It's basically about...well, me. (Oh lordies another narcissistic post.)

I don't know. I do think emotions are the queerest little things that reside in your body and pop up suddenly. They interfere with everything you are supposed to do. They throw you off whack, and they're so incredibly distracting. You know, like "I don't feel like being hardworking and studying for my exams today."

And "I wanna eat so much and get fat even though I know I shouldn't." This one, friend, is LUST. FOOD LUST.

Ah I could just gobble you up so bad ya sexy thing. This pic is courtesy of http://www.foodwhore.tumblr.com/

And then, there's the Inferiority Complex. Oh mothership, I hate the Inferiority Complex. You think you're pretty damn good at something and then you find someone who does it a kajillion times better then you. Then you start wondering what sort of cosmic force would want to bring so much misery to you by rubbing your pathetic failure in your face.

You can tell I've had a lot of experience with Mr. Inferiority Complex.

Well, ever since I became a Trekkie I've looked to Spock for an answer. (Yes this is how bad my fandom is. So sue me.)Well you know I took a leaf out of his book and tried to not give in to these pesky emotions too much. Because emotions are what make us human, neh?

So I'd feel bad for a bit. Then I'd let the feeling sink in. Then I'd close my eyes and just let the feeling pass. Y'know, don't fight the feeling. Let it be.


Surprisingly, the feeling went. There was some sort of funny calm left behind, like when you stir your bathwater and it makes little ripples.

For the sake of irrelevance I shall put a pic of an adorable little kid sitting in bathwater. Heh!

So for a while the technique worked. Everytime I felt like an angsty teenager I'd let the feeling pass and return to my little bathwater calm place.

Then I started doing that for EVERY feeling. Even the happy ones. So I would be all "Yay!" and then suddenly all calm and introspective. I was kinda killing the happy feeling there. So, not the perfect thing to do.

I don't know. I seem to bounce back very fast from extreme feelings of anger/frustration/sadness/happiness. It's mostly good, but sometimes not so good.

So finally I've decided to just keep being curious about these emotions of mine. You know, treat it like a game, or an experiment. Because they're actually pretty interesting if you observe them after a while. Sometimes you laugh at yourself for even feeling that way. Sometimes you think you're an absolute idiot. But whatever it is, treating yourself like a lab rat actually does help you to see things clearer.

And I do like my little bathwater technique. I just have to make sure that when I'm really happy, my face will stay like that little baby's in the picture.

Oh yes, and that Star Trek Fluff in the title? I've actually done a little fluffy couple picture in the ST universe, and the bigger version is here. I know, I don't draw fluffy couple pictures. Or use Photoshop. But there's a first time for everything.

If you have deviantart and want to give me constructive criticism, please do so. If not, and you want Mr. Inferiority Complex to visit me, you can post a snide comment in the cBox on the left. Or a nice one. Or you could leave a message about bathwater.

Ta-ta for now, faithful cyberspace. XD 

How To Swear Without Swearing.

Are you prone to large amounts of swearing and want to swear a little more creatively?

Do you have a no-swearing bet that you have to fulfil but still want to swear anyway?

If so, then this article is for you! Today I will discuss ways to swear so that people don't realise that you're swearing.

Disclaimer: Author is not responsible for any insanity/social repulsion due to this article. Use tips at own risk.

1. Swear in another language. No, not Swahili. Or any other human language for that matter.

Instead, why not opt for an alien language? Taking a leaf from Star Trek's Klingons, a famous Klingon insult is: "Your mother has a smooth forehead!"

Why not put it in Klingon: Hab SoSlI' Quch!

WARNING: Do not use this on Trekkies, apparently it is bad enough to start a war. The last thing you need is a fan jabbing you in the eyes with his pointy ears.

Now you know why smooth foreheads are so insulting.

And if service is slow at restaurants, or if the darn salesgirl cannot get you shoes in size 37 1/4, you can say this: Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam. (Today is a good day to die.)

Ah, and not to forget Vulcans! However they are a more...civilised race and I can't find many authentic language insults. However, I did find many intelligent Vulcan ways of putting standard English insults! These were taken from this forum.

English: Die in hell. (Dunno if this is accurate.)
Vulcan: Decease in a highly exothermic environment.

English: I fart in your general direction.
Vulcan: I release flatulence at the likely coordinates of your position.

Why don't you dudes figure these ones out:
1) You seem to be an entity that is entirely composed of the posterior opening of the alimentary canal.
2)I wouldn't mate with you if you were the last sentient in the galaxy and I was deep into the most powerful Pon Farr ever experienced.

Don't know what Pon Farr is? Click here!

Live long and prosper, you mother*censored*. I swear this was the message in the movie.

2. Make up your own swear words.

Think about it, if you do make up your own swear words no one will understand them except you, and you get the satisfaction of swearing too!

My sister calls me a Mohibi sometimes. Now it's supposed to be an awful insult from her, but every time I hear Mohibi, you know what I think of?

A Mohibi= Mohawk wearing baby. You can't get mad at someone who compares you to such an adorable thing.

So try it out. Call your annoying little sibling a Mohibi. Your dog. Your cat. Your gerbil/hamster/pet snake.

Because secretly, we regret the fact that our mothers never made us into cute Mohibis when we were young.

Kid, be proud of your hair.

3. Just swear without words.

Ah we have the Italians to thank for this one. Very eloquent. Express your anger using a simple shaking of your hands, and various twirling motions! Image below from http://www.wonkette.com/

Make sure you swipe you hand from under you chin appropriately. Otherwise it'll look like you're trying to tickle yourself to make yourself laugh. Which can look pretty desperate and give others the impression that there is no laughter in your life. Hmm...there IS laughter in your life, right? *raises eyebrows*

Ahh, who doesn't know this gesture?

All in all, maybe sometimes swearing is too much trouble.

And now I will leave you in peace. Have a nice day! 

Buddha Says.

I have not been the most religious person in my life. My visits to various Buddhist temples mostly involve some Chinese New Year prayers. I don't read the sutras everyday. I don't really go vegetarian.

But one thing Buddha says is VERY true. Its "Desiring is suffering."

But I mean, isn't it human nature to desire? We want to be so much better than we are now, to move forwards, to evolve and such. Then I realised it probably meant personal desire, materialistic desire.

Like how we want new cars, clothes, items, gadgets. I think so. I have seen so many fashion blogs and wishlists--sometimes I wonder what is the drive behind people that causes them to shop and buy and consume and use all these garments, all these accessories.

It's good to look presentable, but why do we keep chasing these fashions? Since they probably repeat every decade or so.

I've faced cases where I wanted things really badly. It was 'suffering', you could say. You want it so badly that you find yourself sucked into a vortex and you cannot come out because your oxygen tank is at the very bottom of that vortex.

For me, the things I have wanted are quite intangible. For example, more friends. Having grown up a painfully shy kid, I suddenly wanted to mingle more for fear of missing out. I guess I musnt've been terribly good at it, because sometimes I make friends whom I cannot keep. I'm not horribly close to people from my primary and secondary schools, though sometimes I wish I had been. It's difficult for me to maintain friendships by calling people if I don't see them every day.

Probably explains why my Facebook wall is so randomised. The people I know are random and all over the place. Friends come, and go.

Also, having grown up with a pathological fear of the opposite sex, there was probably a point when I would have traded my left kidney just for some male attention.

Heck, my left kidney and a slice of my liver. Perhaps I was 'suffering' whenever I'd see a dude with a chick and they were all so happy and la-la-land and all. It was a bit of a 'wallflower' moment, a bit of a 'why not ME???' moment.

I think, screw it. We only want the things that people have. We want the attention that someone else is getting, and we know it. I listened to Buddha. I tried to stop wanting stuff and just let my personality develop.

And at the end of 16 years or so, you have this semi-sarcastic, random, sci-fi crazy chick who is writing internet poop. You know what, I kind of like her. I suppose if you cannot like yourself you can't really expect other people to want to befriend you. And maybe once you feel at peace with yourself then other people won't see your insecurity. Ergo, much easier to talk to others.

When I stopped wanting I felt a bit better. And strangely, now I do somewhat have what I want. Buddha, you are one cool dude.

Pardon this somewhat narcissistic post. I like writing things out. At least I hope that this internet poop will benefit/entertain/make you laugh with pity in some way.