Friday, September 10, 2010

Utterly Perplexing Emotions and Star Trek Fluff.

Hello world! Today I will rant about my emotions. No, it's not about some boy. No, it's not about schoolwork. It's basically about...well, me. (Oh lordies another narcissistic post.)

I don't know. I do think emotions are the queerest little things that reside in your body and pop up suddenly. They interfere with everything you are supposed to do. They throw you off whack, and they're so incredibly distracting. You know, like "I don't feel like being hardworking and studying for my exams today."

And "I wanna eat so much and get fat even though I know I shouldn't." This one, friend, is LUST. FOOD LUST.
Ah I could just gobble you up so bad ya sexy thing. This pic is courtesy of

And then, there's the Inferiority Complex. Oh mothership, I hate the Inferiority Complex. You think you're pretty damn good at something and then you find someone who does it a kajillion times better then you. Then you start wondering what sort of cosmic force would want to bring so much misery to you by rubbing your pathetic failure in your face.

You can tell I've had a lot of experience with Mr. Inferiority Complex.

Well, ever since I became a Trekkie I've looked to Spock for an answer. (Yes this is how bad my fandom is. So sue me.)Well you know I took a leaf out of his book and tried to not give in to these pesky emotions too much. Because emotions are what make us human, neh?

So I'd feel bad for a bit. Then I'd let the feeling sink in. Then I'd close my eyes and just let the feeling pass. Y'know, don't fight the feeling. Let it be.

Surprisingly, the feeling went. There was some sort of funny calm left behind, like when you stir your bathwater and it makes little ripples.
For the sake of irrelevance I shall put a pic of an adorable little kid sitting in bathwater. Heh!

So for a while the technique worked. Everytime I felt like an angsty teenager I'd let the feeling pass and return to my little bathwater calm place.

Then I started doing that for EVERY feeling. Even the happy ones. So I would be all "Yay!" and then suddenly all calm and introspective. I was kinda killing the happy feeling there. So, not the perfect thing to do.

I don't know. I seem to bounce back very fast from extreme feelings of anger/frustration/sadness/happiness. It's mostly good, but sometimes not so good.

So finally I've decided to just keep being curious about these emotions of mine. You know, treat it like a game, or an experiment. Because they're actually pretty interesting if you observe them after a while. Sometimes you laugh at yourself for even feeling that way. Sometimes you think you're an absolute idiot. But whatever it is, treating yourself like a lab rat actually does help you to see things clearer.

And I do like my little bathwater technique. I just have to make sure that when I'm really happy, my face will stay like that little baby's in the picture.

Oh yes, and that Star Trek Fluff in the title? I've actually done a little fluffy couple picture in the ST universe, and the bigger version is here. I know, I don't draw fluffy couple pictures. Or use Photoshop. But there's a first time for everything.

If you have deviantart and want to give me constructive criticism, please do so. If not, and you want Mr. Inferiority Complex to visit me, you can post a snide comment in the cBox on the left. Or a nice one. Or you could leave a message about bathwater.

Ta-ta for now, faithful cyberspace. XD 

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