The last two or three days have been a bit...emotional for me.
It's mainly about the decision to study medicine, or to become an astrophysicist. Or more specifically, cosmology with all the dark matter and all that.
See, I just found out that career opportunities are quite limited. And the pay isn't great, but if you're doing what you love then it shouldn't matter.
And you have to be good at computers...and I'm not that into computer science. But mainly, it's maths and physics, and I like both subjects a lot.
For a girl from Malaysia, where could I work? People would say NASA of USA has the best technology; but what about other countries? I have to find out more before I decide to plunge totally into astrophysics.
What disturbs me is that I became interested in stars and galaxies and space and sci-fi and life in outer space before I ever found biology and chemistry and life on Earth interesting.
Most people would say follow your heart and do what you love. I'm inclined to do so, but then again my parents are quite pro-enter the medical field. My mother has hinted to me though that she'll support whatever I decide to do. =)
It's like some mid-life crisis, only I'm not even middle-aged yet.
The other disturbing thing is that when I was young (6-8 yrs) I was really interested in space; then I forgot about it from then on until late last year or so. And then this year I read some stuff about quantum physics combined with some astrophysics. And boom. Interest rekindled. Is this some kind of prompt to ask me to decide wisely, before I enter univesity and it's too late to turn back?
Or is my sudden rekindled interest in physics merely a passing fancy?
I also find images of outer space and planets and nebulae very beautiful, compared to people's organs and X-rays and CT scans.
I really need to talk to other people to find things out; that's the logical side of me talking. The logical side also says to consider income and supporting myself.
Hmm. The logical and intuitive sides of me are both urging me to actually discover what I really want to do with my life.
Even though this is quite unsettling for me, I place my trust in myself, and I'm sure the answer will be clear after a while.
After all, it's only logical to do what you love for this lifetime, and make the most out of it.
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